Nine Lives' Halloween Sheet | [GCN] Wario World - "Outside Horror Manor"

[NineLives]

Another Halloween, another Wario sheet for me:

Wario World
"Outside Horror Manor" | MUSX | Source

[Bloop]

-m6, 8, 10 and 12: You could write the D# in the L.H. as Eb here, since it descends towards Dn instead of rising towards En.
-m7-12: I hear the whistle voice an octave up (you can just add an ottava until m11, and move the three notes in m12 up an octave)
-m9: The grace notes at the end of the bar should be 16ths: grace note groups of two or more notes should have 16ths, a single grace note should be an 8th.
-m20: Maybe beaming the L.H. like this looks a bit better:
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-m24: Same thing about possibly writing the D# as an Eb in this bar.
-m25-27: Grace notes should always have their stems upwards, unless they're in a second layer. Also make sure to make 16ths of the grace note groups in m27.
-m27: Maybe you could write the R.H. A in beat 3.5 as a staccato 8th instead of a 16th? It will probably make reading easier.

Nice sheet!

[NineLives]

Everything above has been accounted for. Should be good now, unless I missed something, of course.

[Bloop]

In m6, 8, 10 and 12, you can remove the courtesy accidental on the Dn's after the Eb's: the Eb's make clear that the next note won't be a D#. Also, make sure the 8 of the 8va begins before the grace note. Everything else looks good!

[NineLives]

Done and done!

[Bloop]

Nice, approved!
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[Libera]

Some things:

-The sixteenth note stomps are a little much in my opinion.  I don't think these percussion elements should ever get particularly complicated, and I think it's pretty awkward to actually stomp along like that at the piano, and probably won't sound that great.
-There's a Bn in the bass missing on beat 3.25 of bar 22.
-The notes in the right hand of bar 27 aren't quite correct, and the rhythms/presentation aren't really that accurate either.  Here's a picture:

Spoiler

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[close]

Here the lower bar is what I can hear, written out in gory detail with the triplet that spreads across two separate beats.  I wouldn't recommend writing this out like this because it looks horrendous to read.  Above is one possibility for how you might try to make that look readable, although I still don't really like the 32nd notes.  There are probably other ideas.
-I can't shake the feeling that the rhythm is wrong in the RH of bar 29, but the attack on the synth is so low that its pretty hard to actually decide on anything.  I think probably what is written in is fine, and it matches with bar 31 in the second half...
-I think you're missing the fifth in the left hand notes in bars 29-32, which should make it a little fuller.  You could replace the top octave or have in addition, I don't really mind.

[NineLives]

It's a weird little song, so the rhythms may have to be fittingly strange in measure 27. I decided to use your top/simplified version though, if mostly just to hope it'd be more readable to the player than the alternative.

-I think you're missing the fifth in the left hand notes in bars 29-32, which should make it a little fuller.  You could replace the top octave or have in addition, I don't really mind.

After looking over the section and conversing over Discord, I changed the simple octaves into sus2 chords. Both Es(as well as Ds, D#s, etc) are fairly audible to me, so I just added to them rather than getting rid of the top ones.

[Libera]

Looks great, just one final thing I noticed but forgot to mention last time: the 8va in 11 should end just after beat 2 and not hang on until the end of the bar.

[NineLives]

Alrighty! Should be good to go now!

[Libera]

Cool, accepted!