[NDS] Nintendogs - "Chow Record" by PokéMaster

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Nintendogs
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Chow Record
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: PokéMaster

[PokeMaestro]

[Resumption]

@ static % https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=11888.msg426066#msg426066

- m50 RH (lower voice): The first note here should be C (natural) instead of E.

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- When I said both the ridardandos should be rit., didn't mean exactly that - you can keep the molto and poco. I just meant they should both be rit. (i.e. molto rit. & poco rit. instead of molto ritardando & poco rit.). I just didn't see a reason not to use the abbreviation.

I will leave it that way now. Molto was exaggerated anyway.

- You had this fit rather nicely on 3 pages before, but when you adjusted the system spacing on Page 2, the last system on Page 3 got shifted down. I would adjust the spacing on Page 3 to make everything fit in 3 pages like before.

Aside from the fact that I am not versed in Finale's system spacing – 3 pages wont work out anyway when we add the guitar voice because I couldn't use a repetition (but that was the reason why I originally added that repetition).

- Text can be moved inside the margins by using the Text Tool > right click on handle > Edit Frame Attributes > set V value to 0 (under Alignment and Positioning). For righthand text (i.e. odd page numbers), the Right Page Alignment and Positioning V value should also be set to 0.

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- I would still strongly suggest writing those beat 1.5 dotted quarter notes as tied quarter notes, I think it's easier to read it that way since it's more consistent with standard 3/4 beat groupings. There are times where it's appropriate to interchange such divisions (like in this sheet (m66+) for example). I don't think this is one of those cases, it's just a single syncopated rhythm.

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- For the guitar voice, even if it does play on offbeats, the LH pattern is already playing the downbeats so I still think it could work. The guitar melody also frequently plays downbeats too, like in m37-38 and m57-60

see 3rd point

[Static]

All the changes look good, but I would still try and adjust the system spacing. Right now, you have only one system on page 4, which is a waste of a page.

The best solution I found would be to put 6 systems on page 3, like this:

Spoiler

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You can adjust the system spacing by clicking on the Page Layout tool (looks like a piece of paper) and right-clicking on the handles of the systems on page 3 (use shift+left click to select multiple at once before right clicking on a handle). When you right-click, select "Edit Margins" and adjust the "Distance between systems" and "Top" values until you get a layout you like.

Also, you wrote down "PokéMaestro" on your sheet, but your current arranger name (here) is "PokéMaster". Both names should match. Do you want us to change it to Maestro on the website?
(and the e in Poke is missing the é in your sheet btw)

[PokeMaestro]

Yep, I did it. Thanks (also to xiaomeggros).

And yes, please change the arr. name (to PokéMaestro) and the forum name (add the accent aigu) too (if it's not too much work).

[Static]

Looks better. The top system of each page is still a bit too close to the text above it, however. You have enough room to move the systems a bit closer together

Regarding the arranger name, the e is missing the accent in your sheet. We'll take care of the website side of things.

[PokeMaestro]

Regarding the arranger name, the e is missing the accent in your sheet.

That is alright.

Looks better. The top system of each page is still a bit too close to the text above it, however. You have enough room to move the systems a bit closer together

On page 2 I do, on the last one not really because every time when I put the systems a bit down (with the staff tool), the last system of the page disappears. So I moved the headline further up.

[Static]

That is alright.

The arranger name on the sheet has to match the one on the website, which is why I bought it up. The é needs to be there.

On page 2 I do, on the last one not really because every time when I put the systems a bit down (with the staff tool), the last system of the page disappears. So I moved the headline further up.

Well, now the page number isn't aligned with the title. There's enough space for you to move the systems around a bit, instead of the text. If you want me to make these adjustments for you I can.

[PokeMaestro]

I would be grateful if you could do so.

[Static]

Got that taken care of for you, so I'll approve

[Bloop]

This is looking pretty good! Notes are all good, I mostly have some arrangement and formatting suggestions and feedback.

-Throughout the sheet there are a lot of places where the melody clashes with the chords of the L.H. This in itself isn't a problem per se, but you might wanna add parentheses to the L.H. notes that clash with the melody, or delete those notes altogether. I noticed when playing the same note with two hands, the note will get accentuated, because it will be played with more force (two fingers) than the other melody notes (one finger). This makes the melody sound a bit less cohesive in my opinion. Personally I'd prefer removing the doubled notes from the L.H., but parentheses work as well. Both are to save the player some headwork finding out which notes are doubled and which aren't.
-m2: Slightly related to the above, I think you can delete the G's in the R.H. chords in beat 2.5 and 3.5, so the G from the melody can ring on a bit longer. Same for other iterations later on in the sheet.
-m9: I think you can add the low B from the melody here too, if you use the pedal and roll the chord up from this B. Either way, the R.H. chord should be stemmed upwards.
-m11: Maybe you could move the G from the R.H. down an octave to the L.H.? This voicing is very crunchy with the minor second between the F# and the G, and makes the F# from the melody less present. You could also write the F# in a separate layer to show that this is the melody voice. The same thing happens in m63. Also, the wavy line should is currently clashing with the the flat of the Bb.
-m12: The natural above the mordent should be centered above the mordent.
-m19: The 1 in the R.H. on beat 1 is clashing with the staccato now, it's best placed above the staff.
-m20: The L.H. note should be stemmed upwards.
-m21 and 23: The staccato marks in the R.H. look like they're slightly off center because of the decreased notehead size. Maybe you could move them a little bit to the right?
-m25-26: The quarter rests in the R.H. should be moved one step down, so that they're centered with the 8th rests in m26.
-m35-36: I think you can still add the guitar voice here, as you'll only have to sacrifice the A in beat 3 of m35. The rest of the mellotron voice can still stay.
-m37-38: I think it'd be better if you can arrange the guitar and pizzicato string voice here instead of the mellotron, as those two voices are way more in the foreground. The guitar will add the legato quarter note rhythm that the mellotron implies.
-m44-45: You're missing the legato slur in beat 3.5 of m44 to beat 2 in m45 (you had it in m4-5 too)
-m52: Maybe you can add a courtesy accidental to the Bn in the R.H. too?
-m61: The R.H. chord here should be rolled as well.
-m65: The L.H. D should be an octave higher. Also, with the glissando tool, you can add a wavy line from the L.H. note to the top R.H. note. If you move the top of the glissando to the left so the line is vertical, it will look and play back like a wavy line for a rolled chord. This is so you don't need the grace note before the L.H. D.
-Lastly, I personally prefer editing the page margins so there's less white space to the left of the sheet. You can do this with the Page Layout Tool, in Page Layout -> Page Margins -> Edit Page Margins. I use 0,6 instead of 1 for the left page margin. With this, you could even consider having 5 measures per system for four systems to your liking, to save some space which will result in having 5 systems on page 3 too. Try it out and see what you prefer yourself ^^

[PokeMaestro]

The most things should be done. Thank you for the feedback.

-m11: Maybe you could move the G from the R.H. down an octave to the L.H.? This voicing is very crunchy with the minor second between the F# and the G, and makes the F# from the melody less present. You could also write the F# in a separate layer to show that this is the melody voice. The same thing happens in m63. Also, the wavy line should is currently clashing with the the flat of the Bb.

Are you sure that the F-sharp belongs to the melody? I always thought, when I heard the soundtrack, the highest note of the chord does. I think the players have to decide for themselves which note should be stressed.

-m12: The natural above the mordent should be centered above the mordent.

Impossible I think? It should be the best setting already.

-m20: The L.H. note should be stemmed upwards.

I know but it looked better in the other way somehow.

-m61: The R.H. chord here should be rolled as well.

There is an arpeggio already. Or what do you mean by "rolled"?

[...] Also, with the glissando tool, you can add a wavy line from the L.H. note to the top R.H. note. If you move the top of the glissando to the left so the line is vertical, it will look and play back like a wavy line for a rolled chord. This is so you don't need the grace note before the L.H. D.

I already had this but I prefer the way with a grace note in L. H. because it looks better than a long black arpeggio.

[Bloop]

Are you sure that the F-sharp belongs to the melody? I always thought, when I heard the soundtrack, the highest note of the chord does. I think the players have to decide for themselves which note should be stressed.

I hear the B in m9 and the F# in m11 have a different, sharper attack and sound than the rest of the notes in the chords.

There is an arpeggio already. Or what do you mean by "rolled"?

Oh maybe I just missed it haha, it's there yeah ^^

I already had this but I prefer the way with a grace note in L. H. because it looks better than a long black arpeggio.

It makes it a bit more ambiguous when the D has to be played though: there's not defined way whether a rolled chord (the wavy line) should start on the beat or end on the beat, but usually they end on the beat. This makes the placement of the grace note less clear, because it doesn't show whether it should be before the arpeggio, or somewhere during it. I personally feel like the grace note is kinda out of place when you've used the wavy lines throughout the rest of the sheet.

A few other small things:
-m12: You could move the first note in the R.H. so it's aligned with the L.H. note.
-m38: The tie in beat 3.5 should be flipped downwards, because it becomes the bottom layer in the next measure.
-As for the page margins, I think you only changed page 1: all other pages can have their margins changed to the same values as page 1. When editing the page margins, make sure the check the "All Pages" circle in "Change":
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[Libera]

Bump for arranger.

[Bloop]

Another bump for arranger, you around to make changes? It's close to being accepted ^^

[PokeMaestro]

Ready to be seen through. I only updated the .musx file.

Please contact me on Discord if there are any comments.