[PC] Bug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling - "Oh no! WASPS!!" by Bloop

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Bug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling
Console: PC
Title: Oh no! WASPS!!
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Bloop

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Bloop]

Oh no! COMPLEX TIME SIGNATURES!!

I've taken some simplification liberties with the string harmonies in the 7/8 part and the guitar solo, as well as some bass parts iirc.

[Latios212]

oh man these are some fun time signatures

While I have this open, before I forget, the composer's name is misspelled

[Bloop]

oops i have that in all my bug fables sheets
fixed :p

[Static]

Surprisingly, this isn't too hard to follow... pretty catchy stuff

• m5 RH: The note with the mordent is written as an 8th here, but it sounds the same length as the rest of the measures in the origina.
  
• I'd suggest writing those couple 4/4 bars on page 3 as 8/8, since it better matches with the rest of the time changes.
• m27/29/31 RH: The top voice I think re-articulates the Ab on the second chord.
• m29 LH (and similar): The first two notes should be F-C instead of C-F, I'm assuming you simplified that for playability but I just wanted to double check.
• m34/36 RH: I think the second set of dyads is just En-Bb, the dissonance makes it sound like there might be another voice but I don't hear a C there.
• m52 RH: What you have is technically correct since it's a Gb7, but I think it makes more sense to spell tritone sub resolutions in a way that shows how they resolve to the next chord. Since it resolves to Fm instead of Cb, I'd recommend spelling the Fb as En. You kinda did this already in m44.

[Bloop]

• m5 RH: The note with the mordent is written as an 8th here, but it sounds the same length as the rest of the measures in the origina.

You're right, don't know why I had the first one different, but instead of changing that one to a quarter note, I changed all others to 8th notes as well.

• I'd suggest writing those couple 4/4 bars on page 3 as 8/8, since it better matches with the rest of the time changes.

I usually tend to reserve 8/8 for when something is not divided into 2+2+2+2, but I suppose it does make sense here.

• m29 LH (and similar): The first two notes should be F-C instead of C-F, I'm assuming you simplified that for playability but I just wanted to double check.

Good thing you double checked, because I just didn't notice, haha. Fixed!

• m34/36 RH: I think the second set of dyads is just En-Bb, the dissonance makes it sound like there might be another voice but I don't hear a C there.

Yeah it's kinda hard to make it out what is what. I kinda hear something like C-En and Db-En in beats 7-9 and 10-12 respectively above those dyads, but including it makes those chords way more present than all other dyads. I eventually just decided on changing them to En-Bb dyads. I also noticed the first set of dyads was actually G-C instead of En-C, so I fixed that too!

• m52 RH: What you have is technically correct since it's a Gb7, but I think it makes more sense to spell tritone sub resolutions in a way that shows how they resolve to the next chord. Since it resolves to Fm instead of Cb, I'd recommend spelling the Fb as En. You kinda did this already in m44.

Hmm, technically you're right yes, but I kinda feel like it looks wrong somehow, probably because it's all voiced parallel to the C7 chord before. I think I'd like to keep the chord spelling consistent here, than to have a voice leading to a resolution that's 4 pages back.

Files are updated!

[Static]

All sounds good to me, approved

[Latios212]

This is awesome, I just have a few small things to mention. Thanks for a fun piece to look over The time signatures are really fun and I really like the ping-pong percussion in the original...

m34/36 RH: I think the second set of dyads is just En-Bb, the dissonance makes it sound like there might be another voice but I don't hear a C there.

Yeah it's kinda hard to make it out what is what. I kinda hear something like C-En and Db-En in beats 7-9 and 10-12 respectively above those dyads, but including it makes those chords way more present than all other dyads. I eventually just decided on changing them to En-Bb dyads. I also noticed the first set of dyads was actually G-C instead of En-C, so I fixed that too!

I actually think these should be triads - En-Bb-C. Those strikes sound a bit thicker than the rest of the dyads and I think it's the C still being present there.

Other than that:
- I feel like a p dynamic is a bit too soft for m. 27 (especially contrasted with the f that carries over into the previous couple of measures, and the introduction of the bass in m. 29)
- I don't think I hear a chord tone changing in beat 3 of m. 48?
- Some slurs could use some adjusting. The slurs on the Fm chords in m. 5 and 6 are different... neither is super great, the left end is in an odd position. I'd suggest some manual adjustment but if that's the case be careful with pasting it everywhere to be consistent. Other than that, the big slur in m. 46-48 is a bit high.
- The D.C. seems a bit high.

[Bloop]

This is awesome, I just have a few small things to mention. Thanks for a fun piece to look over The time signatures are really fun and I really like the ping-pong percussion in the original...
I actually think these should be triads - En-Bb-C. Those strikes sound a bit thicker than the rest of the dyads and I think it's the C still being present there.

I think that's what I had at first, haha. Regardless of if the C is there or not, it definitely sounds thicker, so arrangement-wise I think the C's do fit in that regard too, so I added them again!

- I feel like a p dynamic is a bit too soft for m. 27 (especially contrasted with the f that carries over into the previous couple of measures, and the introduction of the bass in m. 29)

I can do mp too of course, but I feel that the synth starting in m27 is very soft compared to everything else going on, and the combination of the synth and bass pattern already makes it seem a little bit fuller.

- I don't think I hear a chord tone changing in beat 3 of m. 48?

I think I still hear this though, it's subtly in the string part.

- Some slurs could use some adjusting. The slurs on the Fm chords in m. 5 and 6 are different... neither is super great, the left end is in an odd position. I'd suggest some manual adjustment but if that's the case be careful with pasting it everywhere to be consistent.

I fixed the slur in m5 to be consistent with all others, because I didn't feel like changing all others into the on in m5 lol

Fixed the other things too!

[Latios212]

Alrighty looks good about the slurs, I think they could still use a bit of manual adjusting so they start a little further left, but that's just nitpicky. I'll accept

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot