[MUL] Atelier Ryza: Ever Darkness & the Secret Hideout - "Ordinary Days" by Sayshi & Latios212

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Atelier Ryza: Ever Darkness & the Secret Hideout
Console: Multiplatform
Title: Ordinary Days
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arrangers: Sayshi & Latios212

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Theguysayhi]

Hi everyone!
Long time lurker here, but I'm happy to say after the creation of my account in 2014 (and with Latios212's help) I've finally emerged to produce hopefully what I believe is the most definitive arrangement of 'Ordinary Days' from Atelier Ryza: Ever Darkness & the Secret Hideout.

The song is a light hearted and curious tune that in my opinion captures the very essence of waking up and feeling ready and curious to tackle and explore whatever the day has to offer!

It's blast to play, and both Latios212 and I worked very hard on it ^^

I hope you all enjoy, and have a great day everyone

[Kricketune54]

This is quite beautiful - and very well arranged!  Always a fan of tunes like this with a reed instrument melody as well as an ensemble

-Maybe just move the mp in m6 ever so slightly rightwards so it is centered over that Bn - might as well move the reflective as well if these are intended to be aligned together

-I'm not sure m11 really evokes a feeling of marching - sorry I don't really have an answer as to what to put here haha, but more to pick the brain a bit more (espressivo/espress. maybe?).  I might just not be familiar with this term being used in this context... idk anything about the game so if this makes sense here ignore my rambling

-m18 RH beat 3 - thoughts on separating this into two layers; keeping the E, but putting the C on top in a separate layer and putting a trill on it? I know the trill isn't that prominent, but it stuck out to me when I listened to the original song so I thought I'd float the idea


Really small thoughts though, great submission!

[Latios212]

This is quite beautiful - and very well arranged!  Always a fan of tunes like this with a reed instrument melody as well as an ensemble

Yeah it's a really cozy piece isn't it? Thanks for the compliment

-Maybe just move the mp in m6 ever so slightly rightwards so it is centered over that Bn - might as well move the reflective as well if these are intended to be aligned together

Oops yeah, poked that mp a bit. I think the "reflective" is okay where it is

-I'm not sure m11 really evokes a feeling of marching - sorry I don't really have an answer as to what to put here haha, but more to pick the brain a bit more (espressivo/espress. maybe?).  I might just not be familiar with this term being used in this context... idk anything about the game so if this makes sense here ignore my rambling

Sayshi added that text, I believe to demonstrate how playing this section contrasts with the relatively light and thin parts before. In any case, looking at it again I think it would be better placed under the staff since it applies more to the accompaniment that resides primarily in the left hand. I'll leave it open to see what people might think is most clear though!

-m18 RH beat 3 - thoughts on separating this into two layers; keeping the E, but putting the C on top in a separate layer and putting a trill on it? I know the trill isn't that prominent, but it stuck out to me when I listened to the original song so I thought I'd float the idea

Oh yeah I missed that by accident xD - chatted with Sayshi and we agree to add it in as you suggested! I messed around with the system spacing to make room for it.

Files updated, thank you I'll leave it to Sayshi to follow up on #2 above if desired

[Bloop]

Welcome to the submission side of NSM, Theguy!

-m4: I hear a C from the string chords on beat 1: maybe it'd make sense to notate it like this?
You cannot view this attachment.
I moved the C from the L.H. on beat 2 up too, so the R.H. has those staccato string harmonies every beat that appear in the next few bars too.
-m5: I believe all the melody notes on beat 3 are staccato (so also the first and second one), though the first one does have a slight accent. You could slur the first note to the second to show that accent, or have them all staccato.
-m7: I hear D's on beat 3.5 and 4.5 in the R.H. from the string harmonies: did you happen to leave them out so they wouldn't be confused as melody notes?
-m14: I believe I hear the violin restrike the G on beat 4.
-m15: I hear half note A's below on beats 1 and 3. Also, I think it may be better to move the pedal mark press marks (the Ped's) from beat 2.5 to beat 3 and from beat 4.5 to beat 1 of the next measures. Currently, there could be notes from the L.H. that will get held over which you might not want (like the Bb half note from beat 1 or the C#-E-G half note on beat 3. You also don't gain that much new harmonic information from the notes you want to hold over.
-m16: I hear an F on beat 2.5 instead of an A in the R.H., as wel as G and F instead of the bottom E and D on beats 3.5 and 4.
-m17: I hear a cello playing these bass notes legato instead of staccato, maybe you could move the bottom notes to a separate layer with tenuto markings or a slur?
-m22: These L.H. chords should have staccato dots too, except maybe the 4th, since the strings play a longer note here: maybe add a tenuto mark or slur here to be sure it won't be played staccato as well?

[Theguysayhi]

Welcome to the submission side of NSM, Theguy!

Thank you very much, and thank you for all the feedback as well Bloop! I admit I don't have much experience describing things notation wise, but I'll do my best ^^

-m4: I hear a C from the string chords on beat 1: maybe it'd make sense to notate it like this?
You cannot view this attachment.
I moved the C from the L.H. on beat 2 up too, so the R.H. has those staccato string harmonies every beat that appear in the next few bars too.

I definitely agree with this! I think the idea is that the string chords sound on the first and second beats, so that would make sense.
Regarding how it sounds, I think it would be fitting to include the c's as shown, but perhaps in the bass clef as they would be much easier to play in the left hand (but with reversed tails to show that they exist for a separate melody).

-m5: I believe all the melody notes on beat 3 are staccato (so also the first and second one), though the first one does have a slight accent. You could slur the first note to the second to show that accent, or have them all staccato.

Thank you for bringing that up. I agree the slur does feel out of place now that I look at it again.

-m7: I hear D's on beat 3.5 and 4.5 in the R.H. from the string harmonies: did you happen to leave them out so they wouldn't be confused as melody notes?

Indeed, I believe I had these in my original draft but Lat and I settled on a single D (because I think it sounded clash-y on the piano?) I'll chat with them again about it ^^

-m14: I believe I hear the violin restrike the G on beat 4.

I think we talked about this as well and I'm glad you brought it up as I was wondering if the violin did continue the beat or dropped it entirely.

-m15: I hear half note A's below on beats 1 and 3. Also, I think it may be better to move the pedal mark press marks (the Ped's) from beat 2.5 to beat 3 and from beat 4.5 to beat 1 of the next measures. Currently, there could be notes from the L.H. that will get held over which you might not want (like the Bb half note from beat 1 or the C#-E-G half note on beat 3. You also don't gain that much new harmonic information from the notes you want to hold over.

Hmm... Looking at it now I do see what you mean in how the pedal marks are in a weird place. I think that can be fixed easily. As for the half note A's I can definitely hear that and I'll try to add those in.

-m16: I hear an F on beat 2.5 instead of an A in the R.H., as wel as G and F instead of the bottom E and D on beats 3.5 and 4.

I agree with these as well. Good spots! I'll bring it up with Lat ^^

-m17: I hear a cello playing these bass notes legato instead of staccato, maybe you could move the bottom notes to a separate layer with tenuto markings or a slur?

That's an interesting idea! I wouldn't be opposed to that at all, it's a detail I never really noticed.

-m22: These L.H. chords should have staccato dots too, except maybe the 4th, since the strings play a longer note here: maybe add a tenuto mark or slur here to be sure it won't be played staccato as well?

I see what you mean. In my mind we left it like that intentionally to preserve the "orchestral" flow of the song - too much staccato would leave the bar feeling a little too 'crisp'.
I'll have a play around and see what works! Thanks again for all the awesome feedback

[Latios212]

-m4: I hear a C from the string chords on beat 1: maybe it'd make sense to notate it like this?
You cannot view this attachment.
I moved the C from the L.H. on beat 2 up too, so the R.H. has those staccato string harmonies every beat that appear in the next few bars too.

I definitely agree with this! I think the idea is that the string chords sound on the first and second beats, so that would make sense.
Regarding how it sounds, I think it would be fitting to include the c's as shown, but perhaps in the bass clef as they would be much easier to play in the left hand (but with reversed tails to show that they exist for a separate melody).

Bloop's screenshot looks good to me; I've updated it accordingly! Sayshi, I'm not too sure what you mean about putting C's in the bass clef though.

-m5: I believe all the melody notes on beat 3 are staccato (so also the first and second one), though the first one does have a slight accent. You could slur the first note to the second to show that accent, or have them all staccato.

Thank you for bringing that up. I agree the slur does feel out of place now that I look at it again.

Gotcha. I feel like staccatos on a string of 16th notes implies a bit too string of a detached sound, though, so how about a slur to cover the staccatos? (I've updated it with that for now)

-m7: I hear D's on beat 3.5 and 4.5 in the R.H. from the string harmonies: did you happen to leave them out so they wouldn't be confused as melody notes?

Indeed, I believe I had these in my original draft but Lat and I settled on a single D (because I think it sounded clash-y on the piano?) I'll chat with them again about it ^^

Yeah, that's it - I think they'd be a bit distracting if written in, especially compared to how the accompaniment goes for the rest of this section.

-m14: I believe I hear the violin restrike the G on beat 4.

I think we talked about this as well and I'm glad you brought it up as I was wondering if the violin did continue the beat or dropped it entirely.

Bloop, to clarify, do you mean the melody? I don't hear a beat 4 re-strike there. Sayshi, I recall we were talking about the left hand chords in this section but not the melody?

-m15: I hear half note A's below on beats 1 and 3. Also, I think it may be better to move the pedal mark press marks (the Ped's) from beat 2.5 to beat 3 and from beat 4.5 to beat 1 of the next measures. Currently, there could be notes from the L.H. that will get held over which you might not want (like the Bb half note from beat 1 or the C#-E-G half note on beat 3. You also don't gain that much new harmonic information from the notes you want to hold over.

Hmm... Looking at it now I do see what you mean in how the pedal marks are in a weird place. I think that can be fixed easily. As for the half note A's I can definitely hear that and I'll try to add those in.

I'm a little confused here - A's below what exactly, do you mind drawing that out? For context, I talked about this part with Sayshi and wrote this. Left being the transcribed chords, and middle and right being options for simplifying for one hand. I recommended the option on the right so it wouldn't have a descending low note, as the bass actually disappears on beat 3. The A in the chord is still resent on beat 2.75 and I kind of like the diminished sound of the triad there... ^^
You cannot view this attachment.
Speaking of the pedal, I wrote it like this deliberately for the lift markings to coincide with beats 2 and 4 so the right hand notes could be played staccato as indicated. Do the pedal markings I wrote in make more sense with that in mind or do you think they should be changed?

-m16: I hear an F on beat 2.5 instead of an A in the R.H., as wel as G and F instead of the bottom E and D on beats 3.5 and 4.

I agree with these as well. Good spots! I'll bring it up with Lat ^^

Got beats 3.5-4! For beat 2.5 are you sure you aren't confusing the high piano line with the F in a different voice below it (which I included on beat 3)? I still hear a high A there.

-m17: I hear a cello playing these bass notes legato instead of staccato, maybe you could move the bottom notes to a separate layer with tenuto markings or a slur?

That's an interesting idea! I wouldn't be opposed to that at all, it's a detail I never really noticed.

Ooh good suggestion, included!

-m22: These L.H. chords should have staccato dots too, except maybe the 4th, since the strings play a longer note here: maybe add a tenuto mark or slur here to be sure it won't be played staccato as well?

I see what you mean. In my mind we left it like that intentionally to preserve the "orchestral" flow of the song - too much staccato would leave the bar feeling a little too 'crisp'.

Yeah, that was my intention here, to contrast this part with the couple of measures before where the left hand chords are staccato and more detached. Since the right hand is all staccato I feel like it would be too dry if the left hand was also staccato and you'd lose the thicker texture.

I've updated files with the stuff mentioned above so far; let me know (both of you) if you still think anything else should be changed (and hopefully quoting doesn't get too awful). Thanks!

[Bloop]

Bloop, to clarify, do you mean the melody? I don't hear a beat 4 re-strike there.

Yeah I meant the melody, I wasn't 100% sure, but it sounds like the sound fades a bit and then comes back on beat 4, as if the player was changing bow direction. It might just be an expressive thing instead of an actual note thing.

I'm a little confused here - A's below what exactly, do you mind drawing that out?

I actually meant it like this:
You cannot view this attachment.
There's an A from a low violin or viola part on beat 1, which restrikes on beat 3 (which you had in your original transcription). It does go below the current 'bass' note though, so I can see you'd prefer leaving it out, and then leaving out the A on beat 3 to imitate the bass dropping out.

Speaking of the pedal, I wrote it like this deliberately for the lift markings to coincide with beats 2 and 4 so the right hand notes could be played staccato as indicated. Do the pedal markings I wrote in make more sense with that in mind or do you think they should be changed?

The pedal lift markings were fine yeah, it's more about the pedal press markings afterwards. For example, there's a pedal marking on beat 2.75 until beat 4. On beat 2.75, the Bb from beat 1 in the L.H. should still be sounding (as it's a half note), which means it will be included in the pedal press from beat 2.75 to beat 4, clashing with the C#o triad. For the next pedal marking, it will be the whole C#o triad in the L.H. clashing with the Dm7 chord in the next bar. This is the fix I was thinking of:
You cannot view this attachment.

For beat 2.5 are you sure you aren't confusing the high piano line with the F in a different voice below it (which I included on beat 3)? I still hear a high A there.

I'm pretty sure it's also an F in the piano on beat 2.5, I hear it as the same note as on beat 3.

Yeah, that was my intention here, to contrast this part with the couple of measures before where the left hand chords are staccato and more detached. Since the right hand is all staccato I feel like it would be too dry if the left hand was also staccato and you'd lose the thicker texture.

Ahh I see what you mean, that makes sense! Still, maybe it makes sense to have something different for the L.H. on beat 4 as well? Currently the only contrast between beats 1-3 and beat 4 is the R.H. being legato, but that's not as noticeable as the whole orchestra playing legato. My suggestion would be a pedal mark for just beat 4. A tenuto mark or slur gets the point across too, but in practice there will either still be a short break, or it will be just the D being connected.

All other things I didn't comment on look good now!

[Latios212]

Yeah I meant the melody, I wasn't 100% sure, but it sounds like the sound fades a bit and then comes back on beat 4, as if the player was changing bow direction. It might just be an expressive thing instead of an actual note thing.

Gotcha. Yeah I'm not quite feeling it still, at least on piano - plus the way it is now mirrors the dotted quarter + eighth rhythms that come prior.

I actually meant it like this:
You cannot view this attachment.
There's an A from a low violin or viola part on beat 1, which restrikes on beat 3 (which you had in your original transcription). It does go below the current 'bass' note though, so I can see you'd prefer leaving it out, and then leaving out the A on beat 3 to imitate the bass dropping out.

I see! Yeah I'd prefer to leave both of them out for those reasons.

The pedal lift markings were fine yeah, it's more about the pedal press markings afterwards. For example, there's a pedal marking on beat 2.75 until beat 4. On beat 2.75, the Bb from beat 1 in the L.H. should still be sounding (as it's a half note), which means it will be included in the pedal press from beat 2.75 to beat 4, clashing with the C#o triad. For the next pedal marking, it will be the whole C#o triad in the L.H. clashing with the Dm7 chord in the next bar. This is the fix I was thinking of:
You cannot view this attachment.

Got it ^^ updated that!

I'm pretty sure it's also an F in the piano on beat 2.5, I hear it as the same note as on beat 3.

I... am still not hearing an F on top, either at pitch or when lowering it an octave :/

Ahh I see what you mean, that makes sense! Still, maybe it makes sense to have something different for the L.H. on beat 4 as well? Currently the only contrast between beats 1-3 and beat 4 is the R.H. being legato, but that's not as noticeable as the whole orchestra playing legato. My suggestion would be a pedal mark for just beat 4. A tenuto mark or slur gets the point across too, but in practice there will either still be a short break, or it will be just the D being connected.

Good suggestion! Yeah I'll add a pedal marking.

Files updated with the above~

[Theguysayhi]

Bloop's screenshot looks good to me; I've updated it accordingly! Sayshi, I'm not too sure what you mean about putting C's in the bass clef though.

You cannot view this attachment.
Ah! I believe I was trying to say something like this; when the song is played, I think it makes more sense for the lh to hit the c on the second beat as its already part of the phrasing there. The current example has the rh playing the C on beat 2 which is rather clumsy to play as it immediately has the play the melody afterwards.

[Latios212]

Ah! I believe I was trying to say something like this; when the song is played, I think it makes more sense for the lh to hit the c on the second beat as its already part of the phrasing there. The current example has the rh playing the C on beat 2 which is rather clumsy to play as it immediately has the play the melody afterwards.

Gotcha, I'll move beat 2 to the left hand didn't change the stemming or anything, for simplicity (since in this section the non-melodic harmonies bounce between the LH/RH here based on whatever's closer anyway)

[Bloop]

I... am still not hearing an F on top, either at pitch or when lowering it an octave :/

I'm still sure I hear an F though :s Are you sure you're listening at the right moment? In audiostretch I can hear an A between beat 2 and 2.5 from maybe a flute, but the moment beat 2.5 hits I just hear the F from the piano in that range.

Ah! I believe I was trying to say something like this; when the song is played, I think it makes more sense for the lh to hit the c on the second beat as its already part of the phrasing there. The current example has the rh playing the C on beat 2 which is rather clumsy to play as it immediately has the play the melody afterwards.

Either way works I guess: I personally preferred having the R.H. play it, as the thumb is already in that position anyway from beat 1, and the L.H. then has to travel less distance to get the F-A dyad. I originally thought having the C in the L.H. would be a bit more uncomfortable for the L.H., but it's not as bad as I was expecting.

[Latios212]

I'm still sure I hear an F though :s Are you sure you're listening at the right moment? In audiostretch I can hear an A between beat 2 and 2.5 from maybe a flute, but the moment beat 2.5 hits I just hear the F from the piano in that range.

Could it be both? I'm still hearing a descent from A to F from beat 2.5-3 instead of hitting the same F twice, which sounds kind of odd to me.

Either way works I guess: I personally preferred having the R.H. play it, as the thumb is already in that position anyway from beat 1, and the L.H. then has to travel less distance to get the F-A dyad. I originally thought having the C in the L.H. would be a bit more uncomfortable for the L.H., but it's not as bad as I was expecting.

Either way works, it's a bit more of a jump for the left hand but the right hand has more time to prepare for the subsequent melody notes. I could go either way but deferred to Sayshi who's been playing this sheet a lot more than I have

[Bloop]

Could it be both? I'm still hearing a descent from A to F from beat 2.5-3 instead of hitting the same F twice, which sounds kind of odd to me.

Maybe we'll have to get a third opinion on this :p I can kinda hear that descent if I really focus on it, but I don't think that's actually what the piano does.

Either way, it gets an approval from me! I don't have any other objections ^^

[Static]

Looks pretty great!

• m6 beats 1-2/m12 beat 4: These are the same chord (G9), so I would spell the Cb in m12 as Bn.
• m16 RH beat 2.5: So, In the piano part I hear an F on top - and the rest of the top layer of that measure is also the piano part. So, imo, I think F fits more. There is an A played on beat 2 by the flute (what you have as the 2nd layer), but not on beat 2.5.
• There's a short 16th note countermelody in m22, you could maybe put it in the LH.
• m25 RH: Instead of doubling the top voice, maybe include the middle voice that starts on G?