[3DS] Pokémon X & Pokémon Y - "Title Screen" by Kricketune54

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon X & Pokémon Y
Console: Nintendo 3DS
Title: Title Screen
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Kricketune54

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[Kricketune54]

Surprise surprise, this feels more appropriate for the start of the new year!

I tried the LH rhythm, and it was manageable on my keyboard even playing with the melody.  I did play around when arranging with removing some beats, but I figured I'd put it forward in its most "trascribed" form.  Note that the D in this LH (such as at m8) is actually up an octave in the original, but I pulled it down because while it is prominent, it doesn't fit with the melody, and was better in my opinion nestled between the Gs' in the accompaniment.

My PA thread contains a version of this with less revisions, feel free to cross reference for the last bar and for some beaming and measure distribution comparisons but it's not that different and also is not required viewing https://www.dropbox.com/s/e4gy62mu6ltc6v6/Pok%C3%A9mon%20X%20and%20Y%20-%20Title%20Screen.pdf?dl=0

[Latios212]

Surprise surprise, this feels more appropriate for the start of the new year!

This looks great at a glance!

Playability:
I agree the left hand is pretty manageable. Only suggestion I would have to make there is to not write in too many triplets consecutively. Namely, probably omit a beat or two in m. 11 like the others. Probably m. 15/25 as well.

Rhythm groupings:
In 12/8 if you have an eighth on a downbeat it should be followed up two eighth rests instead of a quarter rest (to better clarify that the quarter rest isn't the downbeat). This applies to m. 3, 18, etc.

Accidentals:
Past measure 8, this piece is pretty consistently in G mixolydian. You have a bunch of places that chromatically approach the tonic G chord, like at the end of m. 9. So here for example the Gb chord should be written as an F# chord. Take a look at your accidental usage in other places as well - for instance at the end of m. 11 where the melody steps down E-D#-Dn, that D# should be an Eb as it's chromatically descending. I'll not point out anything else for now until you've had another pass over the whole sheet, but let me know if anything in particular is confusing

Some visual stuff while I'm looking:
- Your left hand rest height positions are inconsistent when there are two layers
- Flip lower tie downwards in m. 22 beat 1 RH
- You can distribute measures a bit differently to make the last system not have just two stretched measures
- Put the composed by / arranged by on two different lines (also "by" should be lowercase)
- Extra comma before the copyright symbol

I'll check notes next time but it overall sounds correct off of memory

[Kricketune54]

Playability:
I agree the left hand is pretty manageable. Only suggestion I would have to make there is to not write in too many triplets consecutively. Namely, probably omit a beat or two in m. 11 like the others. Probably m. 15/25 as well.

Minus melody parts like m9 or m35 with a lot of triplets in a row, there's like a 5 in a row maximum triplet rhythm.  With the spots you named, came up with a consistent pattern that is similar to m23.

Rhythm groupings:
In 12/8 if you have an eighth on a downbeat it should be followed up two eighth rests instead of a quarter rest (to better clarify that the quarter rest isn't the downbeat). This applies to m. 3, 18, etc.
- Your left hand rest height positions are inconsistent when there are two layers

Fixed these rest, I did not know that about triplets and the following rests; didn't realize how inconsistent these were (thought I did more fixing than I did lol) so the two layers now should have the same heights throughout the arrangement.

Accidentals:
Past measure 8, this piece is pretty consistently in G mixolydian. You have a bunch of places that chromatically approach the tonic G chord, like at the end of m. 9. So here for example the Gb chord should be written as an F# chord. Take a look at your accidental usage in other places as well - for instance at the end of m. 11 where the melody steps down E-D#-Dn, that D# should be an Eb as it's chromatically descending. I'll not point out anything else for now until you've had another pass over the whole sheet, but let me know if anything in particular is confusing

I should've given these a harder look when I reviewed this on my PA.  I think I understand the feedback in general- I was wondering though for the measures 13,17,21 if those are correct accidental wise though.  I didn't touch them because they aren't exactly chromatic measures, and I wasn't sure if the chord spellings were different from what was already there.

- Flip lower tie downwards in m. 22 beat 1 RH

Updated, as well as m23 lower tie in the RH

- You can distribute measures a bit differently to make the last system not have just two stretched measures

Moved some stuff around on page 2

- Put the composed by / arranged by on two different lines (also "by" should be lowercase)
- Extra comma before the copyright symbol

Fixed these both, files updated addressing comments

[Latios212]

I was wondering though for the measures 13,17,21 if those are correct accidental wise though.

Yep these aren't the most straightforward
- For m. 13 the right hand should be written C#-F# as it's chromatically ascending to the G chord. The left hand though - that Ab is good as is since it's also chromatically approaching the G, except from above.
- For m. 17... I'm not too sure about the notes first. I'm not sure I hear the lower Db/C# in the right hand? I do hear the high C though, unlike m. 13. The Gb would probably be best as it's approaching the G.
- For m. 21, probably also F#.

Other stuff:
- The half rest in the second half of m. 3 is missing an augmentation dot
- The Ab's in the RH of m. 5-6 should be F's (same pattern as surrounding measures - arpeggiating the sus4 chord)
- I would recommend lowering the chords in m. 6-7 to have a more bassy sound leading up into m. 8.
- I don't hear the low D in the right hand in m. 14
- You could add more harmonies to the lower layer in m. 18-19 (G under the B and Fn under the A) if you want
- For the second half of m. 23 I would suggest either writing the lower layer as a dotted whole or hiding the dotted half rest and flipping the upper layer down. It seems odd that here's just a gap in the lower layer there, I think
- m. 29 I would recommend writing all in one layer (and reducing the gap between the staves in this system accordingly)
- m. 29 - E# instead of Fn
- Is the crescendo peeking in at the beginning of m. 30 lol
- m. 30 - would beat 1 be better off as a quarter note? More similar to the rhythm you wrote in m. 34-35
- I don't think the G in the last chord of m. 33 should be there
- Voicing in the last measure - perhaps keep it consistent with the previous measures? i.e. power chords in the LH (including the fifths) and a full octave chord on beat 1 in the RH

[Kricketune54]

- For m. 13 the right hand should be written C#-F# as it's chromatically ascending to the G chord. The left hand though - that Ab is good as is since it's also chromatically approaching the G, except from above.
- For m. 17... I'm not too sure about the notes first. I'm not sure I hear the lower Db/C# in the right hand? I do hear the high C though, unlike m. 13. The Gb would probably be best as it's approaching the G.
- For m. 21, probably also F#.

Thanks for the guidance.  For m.17 I actually hear a C on the bottom as well, so I replaced the note that was there

- The half rest in the second half of m. 3 is missing an augmentation dot

Fixed

- The Ab's in the RH of m. 5-6 should be F's (same pattern as surrounding measures - arpeggiating the sus4 chord)

Ah, hear this now.  Fixed

- I would recommend lowering the chords in m. 6-7 to have a more bassy sound leading up into m. 8.

Fixed

- I don't hear the low D in the right hand in m. 14

There's some some space here between the held G and the B, but I don't hear this D anymore.  Fixed.

- You could add more harmonies to the lower layer in m. 18-19 (G under the B and Fn under the A) if you want

On this listen, I actually hear them there anyway, added

- For the second half of m. 23 I would suggest either writing the lower layer as a dotted whole or hiding the dotted half rest and flipping the upper layer down. It seems odd that here's just a gap in the lower layer there, I think

Went with the second option

- m. 29 I would recommend writing all in one layer (and reducing the gap between the staves in this system accordingly)
- m. 29 - E# instead of Fn

Got this, fixed

- Is the crescendo peeking in at the beginning of m. 30 lol

From my listening, yes - it's a fast increase in volume for those last two beats of 29 going up to forte that stays consistent through the end (you could add an mf on beat 2 of m36 maybe).  What is your interpretation?

- m. 30 - would beat 1 be better off as a quarter note? More similar to the rhythm you wrote in m. 34-35

Good point, fixed

- I don't think the G in the last chord of m. 33 should be there

This is funny to me because I had this as D-G-B - then added the F# in after submitting.  I don't hear the G anymore lol, removed and fixed

- Voicing in the last measure - perhaps keep it consistent with the previous measures? i.e. power chords in the LH (including the fifths) and a full octave chord on beat 1 in the RH

Fixed this as well, I think I originally was going for a somewhat more muted rest of the final measure (given how the energy shifts after beat 1 of m36), but I agree with your reading it makes more sense to be consistent.

Files updated, uploaded

[Latios212]

Sorry, I meant to say I think F# would be best for m. 17 beat 4 RH! Also the LH in m. 21.

Also, make sure to flip the upper tie upwards in m. 23 beat 3.

- Is the crescendo peeking in at the beginning of m. 30 lol

Ah I meant that you shouldn't see anything at the beginning of m. 30 (just two line fragments there right now). You could extend the one in m. 29 a bit more to the right though

I think that's all I've got!

[Kricketune54]

Sorry, I meant to say I think F# would be best for m. 17 beat 4 RH! Also the LH in m. 21.
Also, make sure to flip the upper tie upwards in m. 24 beat 3.

Fixed

Ah I meant that you shouldn't see anything at the beginning of m. 30 (just two line fragments there right now). You could extend the one in m. 29 a bit more to the right though

Oh I never actually noticed that, fixed

[Latios212]

Cool, I will approve

[Libera]

Generally this looks pretty decent.  A few comments:

-I think there is probably a neater way to present bar 3.  I can't recall the exact rules on this stuff, but I think it might be helpful to move the second layer to the left of the dotted note that the dot isn't obscured.  Maybe some manual positioning of the notes will be necessary, but I think it'll look a lot cleaner.
-I feel like a crescendo in bar 7 would be more natural than a instant dynamic change.
-Double barline at the Maestoso?  Similarly, have you considered a distribution in which the maestoso starts a new system?  Something like this seems to work pretty well:

Spoiler

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-Sounds like an Ab in the bass in bar 21 beat 4, rather than an F#.  It matches with up with bars 13/17 as well that way.
-The separate layers in the left hand in bar 29 beats 3/4 are unnecessary so you can merge them if you like.
-I'd extend the crescendo in bar 29 so that's it close to (but not touching the barline).  The crescendo is going through to the start of bar 30, so this makes more visual sense I feel.  I also feel like the first chord could do with a new dynamic like mf, compared to the previous section.
-In bar 31 beat 3, the D sounds like an E to me which then descends as E -> Eb -> D on beat 4.

[Kricketune54]

m31 is a measure that is really quite hard to make out isn't it... this above photo is how I hear it upon further review, but the way I hear it, I am hearing it go (on beats 3 and 4) E-E-E-F and D-D-D-D, but no Eb in there.  I'm leaving out the G-G-G-G# that is also in the original.

Files are updated, thanks for including in the picture what you wanted m3 to look like!

[Libera]

-Double barline at the Maestoso?
-The separate layers in the left hand in bar 29 beats 3/4 are unnecessary so you can merge them if you like.

These?

m31 is a measure that is really quite hard to make out isn't it... this above photo is how I hear it upon further review, but the way I hear it, I am hearing it go (on beats 3 and 4) E-E-E-F and D-D-D-D, but no Eb in there.  I'm leaving out the G-G-G-G# that is also in the original.

This is kind of awkward to play.  I think I preferred it when it was just three notes on beat 3 and two for each of the eighths in beat 4.  I think that's more consistent with the previous bar.  Maybe you could drop the C on beat 3 (it's already in the bass and at the top of the chord) and drop the Es and Fn in beat 4.

Other things:

-The augmentation dot in bar 3 for the left hand needs more space.  Also, there needs to be more space between the second layer dyad and the barline.  You can look at my picture if you need a reference.
-I feel like maybe this piece should be in 1 sharp to indicate the tonic as G.  I mean, the final 7 bars are essentially an extended V -> I in G and most of the other accidentals make perfect sense in G like in bars 13 where you have bVI -> bVII -> wacky substitute for the dominant (this pops up all over the piece).

[Kricketune54]

These?

Was going to comment that I forgot in my previous post to acknowledge all things not addressed directly in my post was updated in my latest files, but

• I don't think I originally put the double bar where you intended
• You hadn't directly called out the LH specifically for m29 beats 3-4 and I mistakenly merged the layers of m28 RH thinking I was doing m29 3-4 lol.  Still my bad for fixing the wrong thing and not reading your feedback correctly, but I don't think m28 necessarily benefit from having two layers in its RH anyway, so I have left that and also fixed m29 like you recommended

This is kind of awkward to play.  I think I preferred it when it was just three notes on beat 3 and two for each of the eighths in beat 4.  I think that's more consistent with the previous bar.  Maybe you could drop the C on beat 3 (it's already in the bass and at the top of the chord) and drop the Es and Fn in beat 4.

Messed around with this a little more and listened a bit more as well (sorry for going back and forth on this, I think I had this volume up too loud yesterday).  Took out the C on the bottom, replaced it with a G between the existing E and C, also removing the D entirely.  The way I hear the measure now, the voice that plays E either holds on it or sits out till the last note of m31, which for that voice is the Eb.  I do hear D's on beat 4.0 and 4.33, and can make it out on beat 4.66 (last note of measure). 

For ease of playing (was going to do E-D-D-D# but the leap up to D# seemed uncomfortable), I have reverted back to D's under the melody notes of m31's RH beats 3-4.  If you think E-D-D-D#/Eb works fine enough and sounds better as far as emulating the chord tone of this part, I'll edit that and update to that... if I'm worried about awkward probably should give m.33 beats 1-2 another look   

-The augmentation dot in bar 3 for the left hand needs more space.  Also, there needs to be more space between the second layer dyad and the barline.  You can look at my picture if you need a reference.

Gave this another look as well your picture, updated accordingly

-I feel like maybe this piece should be in 1 sharp to indicate the tonic as G.  I mean, the final 7 bars are essentially an extended V -> I in G and most of the other accidentals make perfect sense in G like in bars 13 where you have bVI -> bVII -> wacky substitute for the dominant (this pops up all over the piece).

Alright I went with this, and I don't know why I hadn't already done this lol.  For future reference, is there a way to change the key in Finale so that it doesn't change a whole bunch of accidentals (i.e. A# to Bb) along with it?  I think I caught all of that but wanted to check if there's a away to avoid that manual labor

Files are updated

[Latios212]

For future reference, is there a way to change the key in Finale so that it doesn't change a whole bunch of accidentals (i.e. A# to Bb) along with it?  I think I caught all of that but wanted to check if there's a away to avoid that manual labor

Yep, just choose "Hold notes to original pitches Chromatically" when changing the key signature through the dialog.

[Kricketune54]

Thanks Latios!