[NDS] Pokémon Diamond Version &amp Pokémon Pearl Version - "quotEterna City (Day)"quot (Replacement) by Lati

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Diamond Version & Pokémon Pearl Version
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Eterna City (Day)
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Latios212


Replacement Information:
Links to Existing Sheet: MUS | MIDI | PDF
Replacement Type: Challenge (new arranger)

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[Latios212]

Now that Veilstone is done, the next one that most badly needs replacing...

Audio: https://www.dropbox.com/s/lh93pkj3ym0dm2p/44%20Eterna%20City%20%28Day%29.m4a?dl=0

[mastersuperfan]

Just popping in to say that I've always strongly thought of this track as a stylistically slow 4/4 jazz swing instead of 6/8... thoughts?

[Latios212]

For comparison, daj's arrangement (and performance video) that uses swing 4/4 for the first half

Overall, given the piece's heavy reliance on triplet rhythms makes me more comfortable reading this piece in compound time. Going off of measure numbers in my sheet right now:
- m. 1-20: Probably the beginning of the piece is what most feels like 4/4 swing and I'd probably be okay with this being in swing. There's still a fair amount of triplets though, and given the rest of the piece as context...
- m. 21-36: The accompaniment is now completely dependent on triplets definitely giving it more of a compound time feel. The percussion also starts to hit in triplets at times, unlike the first section.
- m. 37-56: The rhythm changes up even more and wouldn't make sense not in compound time, surely...
- m. 57-68: Same as the first section

[Bloop]

I think 6/8 fits better too: maybe a bit because of classical musician bias, but I can imagine a lot of the 16th note stuff getting quite complicated.

Anyway, note checking!
-m2 (and similar): Did you leave the low F# out consciously? I don't mind having it in or out specifically, but it's still there ^^
-m19: I think I hear the melody-weirdness going E-D#-Dn-E here (in 8ths), instead of E-D#-E
-m22: I think you can add the G to the L.H. on beat 4, since you have the A in m23 as well.
-m31: I hear a grace note G# in the R.H. before beat 1.
-m34: Also a grace note C# in the R.H. before beat 1.
-m38: Maybe you could add a Db in the L.H. above beats 2 and 3, and a Bb in the middle on beat 4? (same in m42 and 46)
-m41: I'm guessing you left out the G-A grace notes before beat 1 here because of the last chord in the bar before? I think it should be playable to include them, but if you prefer them left out, that's fine too!
-m44: I hear a Bb in the R.H. on beat 4 (instead of the tied over F#)
-m46: I hear two A's on beats 5 and 6 in the L.H., instead of Bb and Cn.

[Latios212]

-m2 (and similar): Did you leave the low F# out consciously? I don't mind having it in or out specifically, but it's still there ^^

I think I may have subconsciously left it out to focus on the chromatic descending line. I'm actually not sure which F# you're referring to, but trying it out now I like how a fifth above the B sounds (below the B sounds a bit muddy) and don't really know why I didn't think to write it in before haha. Added an F# to 2/4/6/58/66/68!

-m19: I think I hear the melody-weirdness going E-D#-Dn-E here (in 8ths), instead of E-D#-E

Hm, I'm not too sure here. I'm pretty sure the melody goes back to E on beat 3, and I feel like the slide here is similar to the one in m. 16 which I tried to replicate in a similar way

-m38: Maybe you could add a Db in the L.H. above beats 2 and 3, and a Bb in the middle on beat 4? (same in m42 and 46)

I hear the original line highlight the Bb-Bb-C motion on beats 2-4 and I don't hear the Db as prominently, so I'm a bit hesitant to write in the Db's. I added the Bb though

-m41: I'm guessing you left out the G-A grace notes before beat 1 here because of the last chord in the bar before? I think it should be playable to include them, but if you prefer them left out, that's fine too!

Yeah, just for simplicity here

And the rest of the things are updated!

Thanks for taking a look! Files updated, let me know if you think I should change anything else

[Bloop]

I think I may have subconsciously left it out to focus on the chromatic descending line. I'm actually not sure which F# you're referring to, but trying it out now I like how a fifth above the B sounds (below the B sounds a bit muddy) and don't really know why I didn't think to write it in before haha. Added an F# to 2/4/6/58/66/68!

I think there's only one in the original below the B, but above works good too ^^

Hm, I'm not too sure here. I'm pretty sure the melody goes back to E on beat 3, and I feel like the slide here is similar to the one in m. 16 which I tried to replicate in a similar way

It could be that it goes to Dn for just a little bit and goes back to E quickly, but maybe having it consistent sounds a bit better either way.

I hear the original line highlight the Bb-Bb-C motion on beats 2-4 and I don't hear the Db as prominently, so I'm a bit hesitant to write in the Db's. I added the Bb though

That sounds good, it took me some time to notice the Db anyway :p

I also suddenly heard an E# grace note before beat 1 in m32, but aside from that I'll approve!
You cannot view this attachment.

[Latios212]

I also suddenly heard an E# grace note before beat 1 in m32, but aside from that I'll approve!

Ah yeah! Edited that in, thanks

[Libera]

This one was slightly painful.  Cool piece but ... difficult.

-The RH G on beat 6 of bar 34 sounds like a Bb to me.
-I hear the RH on beat 6 of bar 40 an octave lower.  It sounds like the A from the previous chord moves down a step.  You could write in the left hand.
-Graces into the Bb in bar 41?  You can write them at the end of bar 40 if you want like in 60 etc.
-I'm not sure about how we're presenting bar 44.  I think it's pretty clear that the A is the start of the bar (matches up with the percussion) so I think the G and G# should be written as graces going into that note.  You'll then notice that the four notes from the Bb are all sixteenth notes that match up perfectly with the percussion.  The E lands exactly on beat 6, followed by the lead-in notes G -> A which run into the Bb, just like they do in bar 41.  That leaves five evenly spaced notes for the first half of the bar which don't quite match up with the percussion, which suggests to me a sixteenth pentuplet or whatever it's called.  To summarise what I wrote with a picture, here's my suggestion for that bar:

Spoiler

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[close]

You could but the G and A into bar 44 if you want to, like you did in bars 60 etc.  But all these instances should probably match up.
-There's a little G grace note before the F# on beat 2 of bar 47 (down a major 7th).
-Again in bar 50 I think the final E should be an eighth note with the G -> A graces going into the Bb, just like in bars 41, 45 etc.
-The second layer in bar 54 sounds like it starts on beat 2 with an E (followed by everything else you wrote in).
-The chord on beat 4 of bar 31 sounds like Gdim7 rather than A7 to me (although there is a non-chord Dn in the melody).
-The bass movement is being lost in bars 31-32 which is a bit of a shame.  Bb -> Bn -> En in the original.  I think it should be possible to fit that bass movement in without sacrificing any of the harmony.
-The D on beat 3 of bar 39 is an octave lower, and the following A -> F# are an octave higher (this one stands a lot more) but could just be written into the RH at the correct pitch.
-I feel like maybe the bass C on beat 6 of bar 44 is more important than the piano notes, and it matches with bar 40.
-Add a D to the chord on beat 6 of bar 50 to keep that 7 sound?  It's probably more important than the G or B.
-The way that some of the parts in bars 51-52 are written is kind of confusing.  It bar 51, both the piano and the bass parts are stuck together in one layer so it's hard to pick them apart, but then in bar 52 they swap to two separate staffs and it becomes hard to see how they relate to one another, especially when the bass part jumps between hands (beat 1 in the LH, then on beat 2 in the RH, then back to the LH for beats 2.5 and 3).  And then in the second half of of 52 they swap back to being in one layer...  I feel like there has to be a better way to present this section, probably with some simplifications.  If you want some specific suggestions I can have a go at it but maybe you have some better idea.
-Note-wise in bar 51, I hear the bass on beat 3 as a G rather than an E and the bass on beat 5 as a Bb rather than an E.  In bar 52, I don't hear the note on beat 3.5 (it sounds like the same as in the second half of 51).
-Missing an A below the E on beat 6 of bar 56.
-The E on beat 4 of bar 64 sounds like a G to me.

General question: there are a lot of rolled chords in this piece that aren't written with rolls, but a few of them are (like in bar 20, 28 etc.)  I guess I was wondering if there was some internal consistency here or if it was an oversight or something else?

[Latios212]

Thanks for the detailed review! Replies inline to avoid a million quotes...

This one was slightly painful.  Cool piece but ... difficult. The beginning is so deceiving... it starts out so simple but gets so wild in the middle. I'm glad I even finished this one at all xD

-The RH G on beat 6 of bar 34 sounds like a Bb to me. That part there is from the lower voice raised an octave, which descends to Bb there I believe
-I hear the RH on beat 6 of bar 40 an octave lower.  It sounds like the A from the previous chord moves down a step.  You could write in the left hand. I definitely hear the A on top in the right hand but yeah I'll rewrite the chord in the left hand.
-Graces into the Bb in bar 41?  You can write them at the end of bar 40 if you want like in 60 etc. I omitted them before because the chord made them tricky to hit, but now that the RH is playing just a single note I've put them in.
-I'm not sure about how we're presenting bar 44.  I think it's pretty clear that the A is the start of the bar (matches up with the percussion) so I think the G and G# should be written as graces going into that note.  You'll then notice that the four notes from the Bb are all sixteenth notes that match up perfectly with the percussion.  The E lands exactly on beat 6, followed by the lead-in notes G -> A which run into the Bb, just like they do in bar 41.  That leaves five evenly spaced notes for the first half of the bar which don't quite match up with the percussion, which suggests to me a sixteenth pentuplet or whatever it's called.  To summarise what I wrote with a picture, here's my suggestion for that bar:

Spoiler

You cannot view this attachment.

[close]

You could but the G and A into bar 44 if you want to, like you did in bars 60 etc.  But all these instances should probably match up. Thank you, this part's tricky and this makes much more sense! I've put the grace notes in the previous bar for these measures.
-There's a little G grace note before the F# on beat 2 of bar 47 (down a major 7th). Wow... I don't think I've ever noticed this before in all the years I've been listening to this. Added in
-Again in bar 50 I think the final E should be an eighth note with the G -> A graces going into the Bb, just like in bars 41, 45 etc. Yep
-The second layer in bar 54 sounds like it starts on beat 2 with an E (followed by everything else you wrote in). Sounds good to me
-The chord on beat 4 of bar 31 sounds like Gdim7 rather than A7 to me (although there is a non-chord Dn in the melody). Yup you're right, changed the A to Bb
-The bass movement is being lost in bars 31-32 which is a bit of a shame.  Bb -> Bn -> En in the original.  I think it should be possible to fit that bass movement in without sacrificing any of the harmony. I inverted the chords down to have Bb/Bn on the bottom, hopefully that sounds alright
-The D on beat 3 of bar 39 is an octave lower, and the following A -> F# are an octave higher (this one stands a lot more) but could just be written into the RH at the correct pitch. I think I wanted to leave this as is to make a single smooth line especially in m. 43 and 47 where the high A-F#it more intrusive to the melody. It sounds fine here so I've changed it but I've left 43 and 47 untouched for now.
-I feel like maybe the bass C on beat 6 of bar 44 is more important than the piano notes, and it matches with bar 40. Yup, added and it now matches bar 40
-Add a D to the chord on beat 6 of bar 50 to keep that 7 sound?  It's probably more important than the G or B. I changed the E on bottom to a D, since I realized that's what the bass is actually doing anyway
-The way that some of the parts in bars 51-52 are written is kind of confusing.  It bar 51, both the piano and the bass parts are stuck together in one layer so it's hard to pick them apart, but then in bar 52 they swap to two separate staffs and it becomes hard to see how they relate to one another, especially when the bass part jumps between hands (beat 1 in the LH, then on beat 2 in the RH, then back to the LH for beats 2.5 and 3).  And then in the second half of of 52 they swap back to being in one layer...  I feel like there has to be a better way to present this section, probably with some simplifications.  If you want some specific suggestions I can have a go at it but maybe you have some better idea. I put the first half of m. 52 back in the left hand for simplicity. With the couple of corrections from the below comment too it's definitely cleaner
-Note-wise in bar 51, I hear the bass on beat 3 as a G rather than an E and the bass on beat 5 as a Bb rather than an E.  In bar 52, I don't hear the note on beat 3.5 (it sounds like the same as in the second half of 51). Got it (although I had a G written on bottom for m. 51 beat 5 - removed it)
-Missing an A below the E on beat 6 of bar 56. Added!
-The E on beat 4 of bar 64 sounds like a G to me. Yup

General question: there are a lot of rolled chords in this piece that aren't written with rolls, but a few of them are (like in bar 20, 28 etc.)  I guess I was wondering if there was some internal consistency here or if it was an oversight or something else? I initially only wrote roll markings in for where a chord was exposed (without melody over it) and wanted to emphasize it. But listening again I think it'd probably be good to write them in explicitly for all the sections in the left hand where it's applicable. I've added roll markings to m. 1-36 and 55-end, mostly on the beat 4 chords/dyads.

Files should be updated with all of the above, thank you again and let me know if I missed anything!

[Libera]

Thanks for the detailed review!

No worries.  It's good for the soul (I hope).

-The RH G on beat 6 of bar 34 sounds like a Bb to me. That part there is from the lower voice raised an octave, which descends to Bb there I believe

We had a little chat about this and decided on adding the Bb in but leaving the G.

Everything else checks out, so I'll accept!  Good work.

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Libera.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot