[GCN] Pokémon Colosseum - "Mt. Battle Rest Room" by Kricketune54

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Colosseum
Console: Nintendo GameCube
Title: Mt. Battle Rest Room
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Kricketune54

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Kricketune54]

This one is really straight forward (for a Pokémon Colosseum track) instrument wise and has a nice western feel.

I wanted to highlight in the LH that third triplet of beat 1 and the first of beat 2 in m5 as well as beat 2 in m6 are pitches representing the guitar slaps in the original. 

Also, there are a few instances throughout the RH such as m15 beat 1 and m16 beat 3 where there are acoustic pitches that are not a part of the melody, but are heard and I felt were good inclusions.

m12 beat 3 in RH the C is by itself because the pitch is in the accompaniment in this arrangement and the original

[Latios212]

This is great sheet to use to talk about accidentals There are a few different common functions of accidentals which are used pretty plainly in this piece! Let's take a look...

Spoiler

You cannot view this attachment.

[close]

1 - Neighboring accidentals (blue rectangles)
Neighboring accidentals denote a note chromatically adjacent to a note that is within the key. Giving a note an accidental and immediately cancelling it out in the next note is often (not always) a sign that something should be spelled differently. This is also the case when this happens repeatedly. Here, the Eb is a neighboring tone to the E and can be respelled as D# to avoid having to natural out the E. You can see a similar figure at the beginning of EarthBound's shop theme and Cooking Mama's done theme where you have a sharped note repeatedly leading into a chord tone within the key.

2 - Passing accidentals (green ovals)
Passing accidentals are used when a voice is chromatically ascending or descending. In m. 2-3, the A and Ab implicitly lead into the G in the C chord in the next measure. In measure 6, the bass F#s function as a bridge between the F's in the previous measure and the G's in the next measure.

3 - Chord tones (orange diamond)
Sometimes the chords outlined by a part will include notes not in the home key. In this case, that'd be the Eb in m. 5, which outlines a F7 chord (F-A-C-Eb).

So - for this sheet, you've got some right and some wrong aside from the few I pointed out in this image. Give the sheet a once-over for the accidentals and let me know if you're not sure of the function of any of them

also haha restroom

[Kricketune54]

This is great sheet to use to talk about accidentals There are a few different common functions of accidentals which are used pretty plainly in this piece! Let's take a look...

Spoiler

You cannot view this attachment.

[close]

1 - Neighboring accidentals (blue rectangles)
Neighboring accidentals denote a note chromatically adjacent to a note that is within the key. Giving a note an accidental and immediately cancelling it out in the next note is often (not always) a sign that something should be spelled differently. This is also the case when this happens repeatedly. Here, the Eb is a neighboring tone to the E and can be respelled as D# to avoid having to natural out the E. You can see a similar figure at the beginning of EarthBound's shop theme and Cooking Mama's done theme where you have a sharped note repeatedly leading into a chord tone within the key.

2 - Passing accidentals (green ovals)
Passing accidentals are used when a voice is chromatically ascending or descending. In m. 2-3, the A and Ab implicitly lead into the G in the C chord in the next measure. In measure 6, the bass F#s function as a bridge between the F's in the previous measure and the G's in the next measure.

3 - Chord tones (orange diamond)
Sometimes the chords outlined by a part will include notes not in the home key. In this case, that'd be the Eb in m. 5, which outlines a F7 chord (F-A-C-Eb).

So - for this sheet, you've got some right and some wrong aside from the few I pointed out in this image. Give the sheet a once-over for the accidentals and let me know if you're not sure of the function of any of them

Gave it a go through, more or less tried to follow your examples.  Question spots that I have left would be m15 RH (which I didn't touch) 13 RH (which I did fix, it's not a fully chromatic measure that's all), and m7 LH beat 4 (which I changed).  Hopefully I at least got all the other areas, reposted

also haha restroom

It's just... to rest in.  Nothing else... to see here

[Latios212]

Gave it a go through, more or less tried to follow your examples.  Question spots that I have left would be m15 RH (which I didn't touch) 13 RH (which I did fix, it's not a fully chromatic measure that's all), and m7 LH beat 4 (which I changed).  Hopefully I at least got all the other areas, reposted

Looking good! m. 15 is good, that's a Bb7 chord (Bb D F Ab). m. 7 is also good. However, the D#s in m. 13 should be Eb - it's part of an F7 chord (F A C Eb).

Other than that, make the grace note in m. 12 G#.

And for the rest:
- Measure distribution - suggest making the first and last system both three measures
- Make sure the clef change at the end of m. 12 isn't squished up against the last note (just click anywhere in the measure with the note entry tool)
- m. 4 beat 1 - looks weird with both the roll marking and the grace note. I would suggest removing the roll marking as the D# already kind of makes that chord have that rolled sound
- m. 5 LH beat 1 - you don't need a triplet there, you have swing eighths
- Suggest slurring your grace notes
- The C in m. 13 beat 2.6666666666666666666666666 is written in both hands. I'd either remove the LH note or move the beat 2 triplet to the LH.
- I think the C in m. 14 beat 3 would be better off in the LH
- Last dyad in m. 3-4 - only the A-Ab descent motion is played, I don't think the F restrikes. Either tie the F on the bottom or just omit it in the last dyad?

Once that's done, I personally think it's helpful to use the Note Mover Tool to align swung eighth notes with triplets (like in the last beat of m. 16) to show that the second note in a pair of eighth notes falls on the same place as the third note in a triplet. Up to you though.

[Kricketune54]

Looking good! m. 15 is good, that's a Bb7 chord (Bb D F Ab). m. 7 is also good. However, the D#s in m. 13 should be Eb - it's part of an F7 chord (F A C Eb).

Other than that, make the grace note in m. 12 G#.

And for the rest:
- Measure distribution - suggest making the first and last system both three measures
- Make sure the clef change at the end of m. 12 isn't squished up against the last note (just click anywhere in the measure with the note entry tool)
- m. 4 beat 1 - looks weird with both the roll marking and the grace note. I would suggest removing the roll marking as the D# already kind of makes that chord have that rolled sound
- m. 5 LH beat 1 - you don't need a triplet there, you have swing eighths
- Suggest slurring your grace notes
- The C in m. 13 beat 2.6666666666666666666666666 is written in both hands. I'd either remove the LH note or move the beat 2 triplet to the LH.
- I think the C in m. 14 beat 3 would be better off in the LH

Fixed

- Last dyad in m. 3-4 - only the A-Ab descent motion is played, I don't think the F restrikes. Either tie the F on the bottom or just omit it in the last dyad?

I do hear that F restrike- it sounds like it was strummed in the original kinda lazily (not a guitar player but that's my opinion of the sound).  I found it somewhat empty removing both or just one.  Maybe it would be better to put the F's here in the LH?

Once that's done, I personally think it's helpful to use the Note Mover Tool to align swung eighth notes with triplets (like in the last beat of m. 16) to show that the second note in a pair of eighth notes falls on the same place as the third note in a triplet. Up to you though.

I am sorry but I do not know how to execute this feedback.  When using the Note Mover tool the only thing it seems to want to do here is join up in the other staff (see below photo of my screen at that measure)- right clicking only gives option to delete the note.  I get they fall on the same beat technically, but how do I make this happen?

Spoiler

[close]

Posted new files minus last point from your post

[Latios212]

I do hear that F restrike- it sounds like it was strummed in the original kinda lazily (not a guitar player but that's my opinion of the sound).  I found it somewhat empty removing both or just one.  Maybe it would be better to put the F's here in the LH?

Ah okay that's fine if you want to keep it, that sounds fine. Yeah putting the F's in the left hand would make it easier for the RH going between measures 3 and 4.

I am sorry but I do not know how to execute this feedback.  When using the Note Mover tool the only thing it seems to want to do here is join up in the other staff (see below photo of my screen at that measure)- right clicking only gives option to delete the note.  I get they fall on the same beat technically, but how do I make this happen?

Ah sorry! I meant the Note Position Tool (under Special Tools).

[Kricketune54]

Ah okay that's fine if you want to keep it, that sounds fine. Yeah putting the F's in the left hand would make it easier for the RH going between measures 3 and 4.

Upon sleeping on it haha, I decided to take the F's out

Ah sorry! I meant the Note Position Tool (under Special Tools).

Now fixed, reuploaded

[Latios212]

cool cool looks good

[mastersuperfan]

- Right now the swing marking is a little higher than the tempo marking. It would be nice if these could be moved onto the same line (or you could just combine them into one expression and use a hidden expression for the swing).
- m1 RH seems like it would make more sense if all the notes were in the LH instead.
- I hear the second and third G's in m2 LH an octave lower, and also I hear them as tied instead of the last one being restruck.
- I hear an F under the A on the second note of m3/4 RH beat 4 triplet.
- Since this is only one page, it might be better to just use a repeat instead of a D.S.
- I don't hear the note on m5 LH beat 2. (Even if it were there, it would be better to just write it as a swung eighth.)
- I hear an Ab between the G's on m7 RH beat 4. (i.e. triplet rhythm G-Ab-G).
- The 16th-dotted 8th rhythm on m7 LH beat 4 sounds like a triplet (eighth - quarter) rhythm instead.
- The second and third G's in m8 LH sound tied to me instead of the third one being restruck.
- I don't hear a G in m8 RH beat 2.5.
- On m11 RH beat 2.5, maybe include only one of the notes instead of all three, since it doesn't sound like a distinct restrike of the whole chord?
- m13 RH beat 2 (the whole triplet on that beat) might be better written in the LH; at least that's how I hear the voicing. Also I might hear a G above the Eb on beat 2, but it's faint and I'm not sure.
- I don't hear the C in either of the chords in m17 RH.

[Kricketune54]

- Right now the swing marking is a little higher than the tempo marking. It would be nice if these could be moved onto the same line (or you could just combine them into one expression and use a hidden expression for the swing).
- m1 RH seems like it would make more sense if all the notes were in the LH instead.
- I hear the second and third G's in m2 LH an octave lower, and also I hear them as tied instead of the last one being restruck.

Fixed, not sure if it's fully what you meant by the tempo mark. 

- I hear an F under the A on the second note of m3/4 RH beat 4 triplet.

Alright it's bacc

- Since this is only one page, it might be better to just use a repeat instead of a D.S.

Fixed

- I don't hear the note on m5 LH beat 2. (Even if it were there, it would be better to just write it as a swung eighth.)

Never mentioned in my posts this and the eighth in measure 6 were supposed to be the string slaps that take place in those measures at those parts.  I thought they fit pitched enough to work there but I have now removed.

- I hear an Ab between the G's on m7 RH beat 4. (i.e. triplet rhythm G-Ab-G).

I'm not hearing this for some reason, even pitched it up as well to confirm.  I do kinda hear how it could be a triplet rhythm there but it sounds like a ghosted G more than anything if it is.  I am not an acoustic player but it sounds like there's some emphasized string plucks there that sound like an extra pitch.

- The 16th-dotted 8th rhythm on m7 LH beat 4 sounds like a triplet (eighth - quarter) rhythm instead.

Fixed

- The second and third G's in m8 LH sound tied to me instead of the third one being restruck.

Fixed, makes sense given proclivity of this rhythm throughout

- I don't hear a G in m8 RH beat 2.5.

Listened a few times, I hear G on 2.5 move down to F in beat 3 in the RH; I hear both G's I have represented in beat 2.5

- On m11 RH beat 2.5, maybe include only one of the notes instead of all three, since it doesn't sound like a distinct restrike of the whole chord?

What are your thoughts on making beat 3 just F?  Changed so 2.5 is just C

- m13 RH beat 2 (the whole triplet on that beat) might be better written in the LH; at least that's how I hear the voicing. Also I might hear a G above the Eb on beat 2, but it's faint and I'm not sure.

I do not hear the G at all here, but I moved the beat 2 triplet.  Considering the C was originally double struck on this sheet (same pitch in two parts in the original there between the two guitars), I think it makes sense and for an easier overall rhythm.

- I don't hear the C in either of the chords in m17 RH.

I hear the C clearer than the E I have there lol

[mastersuperfan]

Fixed, not sure if it's fully what you meant by the tempo mark. 

Yeah this is good

Never mentioned in my posts this and the eighth in measure 6 were supposed to be the string slaps that take place in those measures at those parts.  I thought they fit pitched enough to work there but I have now removed.

The other ones (m5 beat 1.5, m6 beat 2) made sense to me; I just didn't even hear a string slap on m5 beat 2 is what I meant.

I'm not hearing this for some reason, even pitched it up as well to confirm.  I do kinda hear how it could be a triplet rhythm there but it sounds like a ghosted G more than anything if it is.  I am not an acoustic player but it sounds like there's some emphasized string plucks there that sound like an extra pitch.

I listened again and actually this is just a really subtle pitch bend. So never mind.

What are your thoughts on making beat 3 just F?  Changed so 2.5 is just C

I think the whole chord is fine. Any particular reason you were considering making it just F?

Listened a few times, I hear G on 2.5 move down to F in beat 3 in the RH; I hear both G's I have represented in beat 2.5

I hear the C clearer than the E I have there lol

I think you might be hearing the first overtone of the bass note, instead of an actual strike. I still don't hear either of them; I can ask someone else to weigh in, though.

[Kricketune54]

The other ones (m5 beat 1.5, m6 beat 2) made sense to me; I just didn't even hear a string slap on m5 beat 2 is what I meant.

I think I'll just leave it out

I think the whole chord is fine. Any particular reason you were considering making it just F?

Yeah I think I'll keep it the way it is.  I thought last night it sounded like it was alone but I think it's better as is

I think you might be hearing the first overtone of the bass note, instead of an actual strike. I still don't hear either of them; I can ask someone else to weigh in, though.

Yeah if that's okay, I'd like to see what others think.  I tried slowing down and hearing normally and I still am hearing the LH C as well as a C on the other pitches. 

Uploaded files with changes

[Latios212]

In regards to:
- m. 8 beat 2.5 - a bit hard to tell because the G is already present in the bass, but I would give a slight edge to omitting the G in the RH here
- m. 17 chords - I think the C's should be present in both (they sound a bit thicker than the triads written in I think)

[Kricketune54]

Fixes made per Latios' direction, files reuploaded