Th3Gavst3r's Colo(u)rs Project Sheets

[Th3Gavst3r]

[PSP] Monster Hunter Portable 3rd

Violent Flash of Blue Light / Zinogre

[NDS] Pokémon Ranger: Shadows of Almia

Gems

[Bloop]

Nice work!
The Gems all seem fine to me, except that I think the Yellow Gem should be one or two octaves higher, right?

About Violent Flash stuff:
-I think the key signature is G minor (2 flats) instead of D minor. This means all flattened trills on D's should be normal trills, the En's in m. 44, 48 and 50 would be better of being Fb's, and the D#'s in the last two measures would be better off being Eb's.
-The pickup measure shouldn't be counted in measure numbers. I'll use the current measure numbers for the rest of the feedback, though.
-m.5 R.H.: I'd notate the quarter note triplet here as two 8th triplets (quarter+8th and 8th rest+quarter). It's a bit of a puzzle to figure out how where the triplet falls now.
-Currently, the D.C. suggests that the player should also play the glissando in the pickup measure again. I'd suggest using D.S. with a segno at measure 2 or including a text box at the glissando saying "skip on repeat" or something else, as long as it's clear that the player needs to go to measure 2.

[Zeila]

These are all just small nitpicks or comments, nice work!

Violent Flash...
- Why is the RH different in measures 13 and 17?

Red Gem
- move the dynamic a bit to the right so it's centered

Blue Gem
- missing dynamic
- the arpeggio line is a little too tall

Yellow Gem
- missing dynamic

If these are the only Gem tracks, I think it's worth just including them all into a single sheet with the title written as something like "Red Gem / Blue Gem / Yellow Gem"

[Th3Gavst3r]

Gems

I think the Yellow Gem should be one or two octaves higher, right?

Yeah you're right, there used to be a 15va there but idk where it went. It's back though

If these are the only Gem tracks, I think it's worth just including them all into a single sheet with the title written as something like "Red Gem / Blue Gem / Yellow Gem"

Good call, I just named it "Gems"

Red Gem - move the dynamic a bit to the right so it's centered

Should be centered in its new place

Blue Gem
- missing dynamic
- the arpeggio line is a little too tall

Added dynamic and shortened arpeggio

Yellow Gem - missing dynamic

Added

Violent Flash of Blue Light

-I think the key signature is G minor (2 flats) instead of D minor. This means all flattened trills on D's should be normal trills, the En's in m. 44, 48 and 50 would be better of being Fb's, and the D#'s in the last two measures would be better off being Eb's.

Good call, changed to G minor and adjusted all those accidentals. Also changed the enharmonics in m35/38 to B natural/A# just to not have flats and sharps in the same measure

-The pickup measure shouldn't be counted in measure numbers. I'll use the current measure numbers for the rest of the feedback, though.

Fixed

-m.5 R.H.: I'd notate the quarter note triplet here as two 8th triplets (quarter+8th and 8th rest+quarter). It's a bit of a puzzle to figure out how where the triplet falls now.

That rhythm is hard for me to read no matter what, but 8th triplets do make the beats more explicit so that's a plus. Changed it to the smaller triplets

-Currently, the D.C. suggests that the player should also play the glissando in the pickup measure again. I'd suggest using D.S. with a segno at measure 2 or including a text box at the glissando saying "skip on repeat" or something else, as long as it's clear that the player needs to go to measure 2.

Changed it to a Dal Segno. TBH I've never really been sure what the rules would be for pickup measures and repeats like that. It seems to me like it would be nonsense to try and include the pickup measure with the repeat, but when in doubt I guess it's better to be explicit

Violent Flash... - Why is the RH different in measures 13 and 17?

I mainly changed it to make the transition to the lower register a little easier, but I also like the sort of growl it makes going into the lower section

[Bloop]

Nice, consider Gems approved!

Changed it to a Dal Segno. TBH I've never really been sure what the rules would be for pickup measures and repeats like that. It seems to me like it would be nonsense to try and include the pickup measure with the repeat, but when in doubt I guess it's better to be explicit

Yeah, now that you mention it, I'm not sure if there are specific rules about pickup measures and repeats. I can only think of examples from the Classical Mozart time period, but those don't really apply to most songs that use a pickup measure.

Anyway, some more Zinogre stuff!
-m4 L.H.: The quarter note tied to 8th note in beats 1 and 2 could be written as a dotted quarter note, unless you consciously split them up for the triplet in the R.H.?
-m12 R.H.: Did you add the low D's and C in beat 1.5 to beat 3 as filler? If so, why are they not in m16? I don't necessarily hear them in the original (though it's hard to really make out individual notes), but I can see how you'd add them for some extra punch.
-m23 R.H.: I hear the mordent here as a normal mordent (F-G-F), instead of a flattened one (F-Gb-F).
-m29 R.H.: I hear a C octave on beat 2 too (instead of just beat 1.5)
-m30 R.H.: I hear this in this bar:
You cannot view this attachment.
-m41-48 L.H.: To be honest, I'd redo this left hand part a bit to have more emphasis on those long brass notes instead of the percussive low G stuff, as those are more prominent and have more harmonic filling to the song. I'd recommend something like this:

Example in m41-44

You cannot view this attachment.

[close]

-m49 R.H.: You forgot to switch the grace note from En to Fb

[Th3Gavst3r]

Nice, consider Gems approved!
I can only think of examples from the Classical Mozart time period, but those don't really apply to most songs that use a pickup measure.

Yeah there aren't a lot of songs that just repeat back to the beginning since that's normally kind of repetitive I guess, so I haven't been able to find any examples either... Might bring it up in the Discord or something

-m4 L.H.: The quarter note tied to 8th note in beats 1 and 2 could be written as a dotted quarter note, unless you consciously split them up for the triplet in the R.H.?

Yeah I did purposefully change that one. It makes it a little easier for me if the whole beat is there

-m12 R.H.: Did you add the low D's and C in beat 1.5 to beat 3 as filler? If so, why are they not in m16? I don't necessarily hear them in the original (though it's hard to really make out individual notes), but I can see how you'd add them for some extra punch.

There's an overdrive guitar in there somewhere that plays a C-D-D-C-D lick, so I included it to bring out the minor sound in the first half of the measure instead of it suddenly becoming minor on beat 3. In m16 they switch to a C-F-F-C-F lick which makes that measure sound more major, but I left out the F repeats because I didn't want to muddy up the cleaner major sound

-m23 R.H.: I hear the mordent here as a normal mordent (F-G-F), instead of a flattened one (F-Gb-F).

I think you're right about that, but here I'm expecting the player to sustain that measure to reach the other notes. If you pedal a G natural it sounds kind of weird harmonically when the RH plays Gb-F an octave down right after the mordent

-m29 R.H.: I hear a C octave on beat 2 too (instead of just beat 1.5)

Oh yeah you're right, moved the G up to a C

-m30 R.H.: I hear this in this bar:
You cannot view this attachment.

I think you're right about that. Changed it to the pattern in your picture and also added a mp -> mf crescendo

-m41-48 L.H.: To be honest, I'd redo this left hand part a bit to have more emphasis on those long brass notes instead of the percussive low G stuff, as those are more prominent and have more harmonic filling to the song. I'd recommend something like this:

Example in m41-44

You cannot view this attachment.

[close]

Did a whole lot of tweaking to m41-47. I left the G octaves in instead of using just the upper note because I felt like it sounded wimpy alone, but I swapped the G's out for other notes in a lot of places too. I also realized I had the wrong drum pattern in m44 so I changed the rhythm. Making those changes also messed up the midi data for playback so I'm a little sad about that, but it's probably not worth the effort anymore lol

-m49 R.H.: You forgot to switch the grace note from En to Fb

Oops fixed

[Bloop]

There's an overdrive guitar in there somewhere that plays a C-D-D-C-D lick, so I included it to bring out the minor sound in the first half of the measure instead of it suddenly becoming minor on beat 3. In m16 they switch to a C-F-F-C-F lick which makes that measure sound more major, but I left out the F repeats because I didn't want to muddy up the cleaner major sound

tbh i don't really hear that guitar but i believe you lol

I think you're right about that, but here I'm expecting the player to sustain that measure to reach the other notes. If you pedal a G natural it sounds kind of weird harmonically when the RH plays Gb-F an octave down right after the mordent

Ah, I can see where you're coming from, though I'm not sure if it's really a problem. You have a lot of G's in the left hand already anyway, as well as in beat 4 in the right hand, so it's not like the G would be out of place. I can live with the Gb though, if you really prefer it!

I think you're right about that. Changed it to the pattern in your picture and also added a mp -> mf crescendo

I really do hear the last two top notes as Ab and Bb though (instead of Bb and Bn like you have now), but looks good otherwise!

Did a whole lot of tweaking to m41-47. I left the G octaves in instead of using just the upper note because I felt like it sounded wimpy alone, but I swapped the G's out for other notes in a lot of places too.

Shouldn't m41 be the same as 45 though? Also, I can see why you prefer the octaves in m42 and 46, but wouldn't octave C's work too then? That way, you would have both the rhythm and the bass notes?

[Libera]

Flash of Blue Light / Zinogre

Cool to see a main monster theme.  There are probably easier ones to put on piano though...

There are a couple of spots that stand out to me as not really sounding much like the original, so let me go through those first before my other feedback.

-In bars 10, 12 etc. the last three notes in the left hand don't sound like they're in the original and I don't really think they match the feel of the piece that well.  The guitars seem to be normally messing around on the fifth (D) or trilling (D <-> Eb) so something like that might fit better.
-In bar 28, I don't really know where the last two beats are coming from and it doesn't really seem to reflect the original very well.  The jump up to Bb particularly stands out to me because I don't really hear anything in the original like that.  The guitar sounds like it moves onto an F# to me for the second half of that bar, resolving back to a G in 29.

Other stuff:

-I can hear the guitar in 12/16, but it sounds like it does the same thing both times to me C F F D D.  I think it makes sense to at least present these two sections with the same number of notes each (in the chords that is).
-Are the tremolos in 17/19 etc. meant to reflect the growls?  I kind of feel like losing the rhythm of the accompaniment in those bars makes it a bit harder to follow, but I can still see why you put them in.
-I don't really follow the reasoning for the dim. into mp in bars 19-21.  It doesn't sound like it gets any quieter in the original to me.
-In 21, I'd suggest ending the phrase that you just started rather than continuing a new one.  At least when I'm listening to this piece my brain tends to focus on finishing that phrase rather than starting the lower down one.  tl;dr I'm suggesting making 21 look more like 23.
-If you want to make the low horn stabs stand out, I'd take out the upper octaves in bar 28 (just the first two).
-I agree with Bloop about the last two notes of bar 30 being Ab and Bb, not Bb and Bn.
-I'm not sure that the last four notes in 32 really warrant accents on top of already being octaves, especially when the much more dramatic Eb octaves in bars 33/35 etc. aren't given accents.
-I think that the start of bar 40 should look like bar 36.  You can relegate the tremolo to the final two beats and I don't think it'll make much difference, but it's cool to get the horn stabs across clearly.
-The false relation at the end of bar 33/36 etc. is pretty neat, but maybe it means that the lower D should get a courtesy?  It might be a little confusing.
-The left hand in 41-45 is kind of confusing.  I would expect 41/43/45 to all be presented in the same way, but 41 looks completely different.  It seems like you want to get across the horns and the percussion, but since you have the trill in the right hand the left hand is getting a little confused.  Is the trill actually all that important?  Maybe you could drop it to let the horn parts and the percussion/guitars come through more naturally.
-It's kind of hard to hear some of the notes in 44's RH, but I'm pretty confident that the second note is a D, not an Eb.
-Again, the run in 48 is kind of hard to make out completely, but it really sounds to me like it starts on an F#/Gb rather than a G. i.e. F# Eb D C Bb A [G F# Eb C Bb A] (the notes in [] I'm less sure about but are what you have currently and it sounds alright for the last half of the bar).
-My understanding was that D.C.s don't include pickup bars?  If you want to be really specific then I guess this is fine, but it seems a little silly.  You could also just use standard repeat markings if you wanted to.

Hopefully some of that helps.

[Latios212]

Gems

nice playlist lol

- For Blue Gem, don't think the caesura should be there at the end? There's not much of a pause between the second chord before going back to the first. Actually for what it's worth, I imagine the "rhythm" (if you can even call it that) looking something like this:
You cannot view this attachment.
- For Red Gem, I'd suggest 3/2 instead of 6/4 (indicating three strikes of the beat subdivided into two each instead of two strikes subdivided into three each - think 3/4 vs. 6/8)

[Th3Gavst3r]

Bloop
Violent Flash of Blue Light / Zinogre

I really do hear the last two top notes as Ab and Bb though (instead of Bb and Bn like you have now), but looks good otherwise!

Oh whoops, I totally tunnel visioned on the first half and didn't notice you changed the second also. Updated

Shouldn't m41 be the same as 45 though? Also, I can see why you prefer the octaves in m42 and 46, but wouldn't octave C's work too then? That way, you would have both the rhythm and the bass notes?

I've had a hard time deciding on what I wanted to include here. I'm reluctant to rely on just the bass notes because I want the texture to be dirty and angry, more like the noise introduced with all the background overdrive, distortion, and reverb in the original. Using just the bass notes like the octave C's doesn't sound the way I want because it's just clean octaves. I took the G's out of m45 because I thought the RH octaves added enough additional texture while also trying to include your suggestions, but I can see how it might be simpler to perform if both measures were the same. So I've gone back and made them the same

Libera
Violent Flash of Blue Light / Zinogre

-In bars 10, 12 etc. the last three notes in the left hand don't sound like they're in the original and I don't really think they match the feel of the piece that well.  The guitars seem to be normally messing around on the fifth (D) or trilling (D <-> Eb) so something like that might fit better.

Those notes are definitely there in the bass strings, albeit without the extra Gb on beat 3.5 in measures 10 and 14. I added another Gb on 3.5 to keep the motion, since the drums play lights 16ths there and pausing on the offbeat would crater the energy.  tried a bunch of variations of the D trill but they all either sound muddy in the low register, intersect and distract from the melodic line in the middle register, or are difficult to play in the high register

-In bar 28, I don't really know where the last two beats are coming from and it doesn't really seem to reflect the original very well.  The jump up to Bb particularly stands out to me because I don't really hear anything in the original like that.  The guitar sounds like it moves onto an F# to me for the second half of that bar, resolving back to a G in 29.

Yeah that part bugged me a lot. The shamisen turns very percussive on those notes and there aren't very strict pitches to pick out. I added the Bb's to try and inject some interest in that section because 5 straight measures of C-G fifths isn't great to listen to. The Bb's do stick out a bit which I wasn't super happy about but I thought it was at least reminiscent of the upward screech that happens in the second half of the bar. Using F# definitely sounds terrible next to the first could G's, but I think it might sound alright with F-G dyads instead since there are a bunch of F's in surrounding bars

-I can hear the guitar in 12/16, but it sounds like it does the same thing both times to me C F F D D.  I think it makes sense to at least present these two sections with the same number of notes each (in the chords that is).

I think you're right about the C F F for the first guitar, but I still think it goes C F F C D. Changed it to that.

-Are the tremolos in 17/19 etc. meant to reflect the growls?  I kind of feel like losing the rhythm of the accompaniment in those bars makes it a bit harder to follow, but I can still see why you put them in.

Yeah that's what they're supposed to be. I prefer them to the couple places where you could choose to use the drum pattern instead because I think it makes the melody stick out a little more when you don't have the blurry low rhythms syncopating the RH

-I don't really follow the reasoning for the dim. into mp in bars 19-21.  It doesn't sound like it gets any quieter in the original to me.

I put the dim there to imitate the timbre of the flute in that section. While it's still mixed above the rest of the song, it's not played forcefully and is pretty soothing compared to the surrounding sections, so I lowered the dynamic to bring out the RH more without making it a whole lot brighter

-In 21, I'd suggest ending the phrase that you just started rather than continuing a new one.  At least when I'm listening to this piece my brain tends to focus on finishing that phrase rather than starting the lower down one.  tl;dr I'm suggesting making 21 look more like 23.

I think I understand what you mean. I made beat 1 of the RH layer 2 a rest. I like that

-If you want to make the low horn stabs stand out, I'd take out the upper octaves in bar 28 (just the first two).

Yeah that matches the original better

-I agree with Bloop about the last two notes of bar 30 being Ab and Bb, not Bb and Bn.

Changed with Bloop's feedback, I just didn't notice they also changed those notes lol

-I'm not sure that the last four notes in 32 really warrant accents on top of already being octaves, especially when the much more dramatic Eb octaves in bars 33/35 etc. aren't given accents.

I really just put them there to separate the stressed and unstressed octaves so they'd be a little more forceful than beats 2/2.5 right before

-I think that the start of bar 40 should look like bar 36.  You can relegate the tremolo to the final two beats and I don't think it'll make much difference, but it's cool to get the horn stabs across clearly.

Yup I think you're right about that. Changed it

-The false relation at the end of bar 33/36 etc. is pretty neat, but maybe it means that the lower D should get a courtesy?  It might be a little confusing.

I don't want it to be confusing for too many accidentals either, especially since I already added an An courtesy on m35/39. Measures 33 and 37 both are right next to the key signatures too, so I don't think it's necessary

-The left hand in 41-45 is kind of confusing.  I would expect 41/43/45 to all be presented in the same way, but 41 looks completely different.  It seems like you want to get across the horns and the percussion, but since you have the trill in the right hand the left hand is getting a little confused.  Is the trill actually all that important?  Maybe you could drop it to let the horn parts and the percussion/guitars come through more naturally.

I think the trill adds a lot to that section. Without it I think it loses a lot of tension that sounds awesome leading into the arpeggios. I dropped more of the Gs just to make the pattern the same as the other measures

-It's kind of hard to hear some of the notes in 44's RH, but I'm pretty confident that the second note is a D, not an Eb.

Yeah I think you're right, although I am a fan of how an Eb sounds in that run. Changed it to a D

-Again, the run in 48 is kind of hard to make out completely, but it really sounds to me like it starts on an F#/Gb rather than a G. i.e. F# Eb D C Bb A [G F# Eb C Bb A] (the notes in [] I'm less sure about but are what you have currently and it sounds alright for the last half of the bar).

That whole section is really noodly, and I think the performers just didn't play it perfectly lol. They actually jump the run on beat 4.5 of measure 47 and just kind of wind their way down two octaves of G harmonic minor, finishing on what sounds closer to 16th notes than tuplets as if they ran out of time. I thought the Ds sounded the weakest so I just took out the fifth and simplified it to those two triplet octaves

-My understanding was that D.C.s don't include pickup bars?  If you want to be really specific then I guess this is fine, but it seems a little silly.  You could also just use standard repeat markings if you wanted to.

I thought the same thing, but I asked a few people about what they thought and the common response was to be initially confused how to interpret a "repeat to the beginning" if there's a pickup. At best people weren't sure, and at worst you could interpret the D.C. as tacking the pickup on to beat 4 of the last measure, or even just adding an extra fifth beat. National Park was the only example I could think of off the top of my head, but I wouldn't be surprised if we've accepted all varieties of repeat-with-pickup notation in the past. I used a D.S. like Bloop suggested just to be explicit, and opted over the normal repeat since I think three pages is pretty far to search for a possible forward repeat


I also added some more dynamics to the RH on the last page

Latios
Gems

- For Blue Gem, don't think the caesura should be there at the end? There's not much of a pause between the second chord before going back to the first. Actually for what it's worth, I imagine the "rhythm" (if you can even call it that) looking something like this:
You cannot view this attachment.

The last rest in the version you sent is still a lot shorter than it sounds like in the original, but I like using 4/4 better. Changed it to 4/4 and the caesura to a breath mark to indicate there's still a small pause

- For Red Gem, I'd suggest 3/2 instead of 6/4 (indicating three strikes of the beat subdivided into two each instead of two strikes subdivided into three each - think 3/4 vs. 6/8)

I have a harder time counting 3/2 because of the large gaps of silence, but I think you're right about the beats being wider. It's probably fine you'd just have to subdivide mentally, so I changed it to 3/2

[Latios212]

Gems
Looks good, I shall accept~

[Libera]

Yeah that part bugged me a lot. The shamisen turns very percussive on those notes and there aren't very strict pitches to pick out. I added the Bb's to try and inject some interest in that section because 5 straight measures of C-G fifths isn't great to listen to. The Bb's do stick out a bit which I wasn't super happy about but I thought it was at least reminiscent of the upward screech that happens in the second half of the bar. Using F# definitely sounds terrible next to the first could G's, but I think it might sound alright with F-G dyads instead since there are a bunch of F's in surrounding bars

I'm not sure the F#s sound terrible; it sounds fine to me.  But anyway I guess this sound better than before, so sure.

Those notes are definitely there in the bass strings, albeit without the extra Gb on beat 3.5 in measures 10 and 14. I added another Gb on 3.5 to keep the motion, since the drums play lights 16ths there and pausing on the offbeat would crater the energy.  tried a bunch of variations of the D trill but they all either sound muddy in the low register, intersect and distract from the melodic line in the middle register, or are difficult to play in the high register

I still can't hear these movements.  But even if they are there, they're going from something so quiet that I can't hear it at all to sticking out completely as the only thing happening in the arrangement at these points (i.e. the ends of bars 10 etc.).  I just think it'd be better to go with something more percussive coming from the guitars, rather than this scalic figure.  It doesn't have to be a trill, maybe something like changing the A -> Bb to a quarter D octave or D/A dyad, the second of which fits with bar 8.

I think you're right about the C F F for the first guitar, but I still think it goes C F F C D. Changed it to that.

I still think there should be a D in the chord for bar 16.  There are definitely Ds there at that point and it sounds weaker compared to the chord in 12 without a third note.


Everything else looks fine.  I'm happier with 41-46 now that they're more consistent.  Good work.

[Th3Gavst3r]

I still can't hear these movements.  But even if they are there, they're going from something so quiet that I can't hear it at all to sticking out completely as the only thing happening in the arrangement at these points (i.e. the ends of bars 10 etc.).  I just think it'd be better to go with something more percussive coming from the guitars, rather than this scalic figure.  It doesn't have to be a trill, maybe something like changing the A -> Bb to a quarter D octave or D/A dyad, the second of which fits with bar 8.

I changed it to a A -> F. I think that's what the strings are actually doing, so hopefully it sounds less scalic

I still think there should be a D in the chord for bar 16.  There are definitely Ds there at that point and it sounds weaker compared to the chord in 12 without a third note.

I like that section without a D because while the guitar does seem to briefly hit a D before starting a slide, the rest of the instruments drop out on beat 3 and I think omitting the D sounds more open and anticipates the sudden intensity of the next section better



Also added dynamics to the hairpin in m4

[Libera]

Ok, I'll approve.

[Th3Gavst3r]

I changed it to a A -> F. I think that's what the strings are actually doing, so hopefully it sounds less scalic

After taking a break and coming back I don't really like how the LH in m9-16 sounded with the same pattern repeated three times-- to me it comes across pretty bland.
Listening again made me realize I was probably hearing a Bb from this little secondary electric guitar bend that happens only the end of m12, so I feel like it's not a bad change to make just m12 to A->Bb for some variation to match the call-and-response in the RH.