[NES] Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom - "Password" by Lumaga

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Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom
Console: Nintendo Entertainment System
Title: Password
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Lumaga

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[Lumaga]

[Latios212]

Welcome to NinSheetMusic!

This sheet looks pretty good. A couple of things to note as I skim before getting into the finer details of notes and spacing:
- The upper notes of m. 14 beats 3 and 4 could be easily played by the right hand
- The rhythm grouping of m. 19-20 is a bit off (and incomplete). Make sure to split up that quarter rest so a 16th rest falls on beat 3 (similar to how a 16th rest falls on beat 1).
- The third voice is missing in a few places, like m. 12 left hand, m. 18-21 right hand
- I would suggest writing the rhythmic figure in m. 7-8 and similar with a mordent which I think would be a bit easier to read than triplet 32nd notes:
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[Lumaga]

Hi Latios212.  Thanks for reviewing my submission.  I took a good look at the sheet with your feedback in mind, and you were right on all counts.  I've only been rediscovering music since the start of last year, so there's a lot for me to learn still.

I have adjusted for all points of your feedback, but I still have something I'm unsure of.  Specifically the third voice in m. 18-21.  It harmonizes with the lead voice, but it's a bit lower.  Adding it as a separate distinct voice makes the sheet look a bit stranger than it should, IMO.  I kept the notes as a third lower than the lead, which may keep it to high but was much cleaner to read (and play).  The only difference is at the 4th beat of m. 21 where the voices are clearly not a third apart.

There are some notes the song that sound very short, so I've added a few more staccato articulations in the right hand (measures 6, 11, 12, 21).

I also made the second voice distinct in m. 22, where there's a very short F on beats 1 and 3 with the lead (A then E).  I liked how it sounded these as half notes, but this is more true to the original.

Thanks again for the feedback.  I have more arrangements in the works, but I'd love to get this one buttoned up before submitting more.

[Latios212]

Hi Latios212.  Thanks for reviewing my submission.  I took a good look at the sheet with your feedback in mind, and you were right on all counts.  I've only been rediscovering music since the start of last year, so there's a lot for me to learn still.
...
Thanks again for the feedback.  I have more arrangements in the works, but I'd love to get this one buttoned up before submitting more.

No problem! Hope you stick with it and thanks for prioritizing quality over quantity.

I have adjusted for all points of your feedback, but I still have something I'm unsure of.  Specifically the third voice in m. 18-21.  It harmonizes with the lead voice, but it's a bit lower.  Adding it as a separate distinct voice makes the sheet look a bit stranger than it should, IMO.  I kept the notes as a third lower than the lead, which may keep it to high but was much cleaner to read (and play).  The only difference is at the 4th beat of m. 21 where the voices are clearly not a third apart.
...
I also made the second voice distinct in m. 22, where there's a very short F on beats 1 and 3 with the lead (A then E).  I liked how it sounded these as half notes, but this is more true to the original.

These are good, I agree with the way you wrote it

There are some notes the song that sound very short, so I've added a few more staccato articulations in the right hand (measures 6, 11, 12, 21).

Yup, sounds good. I would suggest adding them to the eighth notes in the right hand in m. 7-8 just like you did in m. 11.

Some more things:
- Rhythm grouping: a couple of these measures need to show beat 3. So in measure 10, split the half rest into two quarter rests, and in measure 12 split the dotted quarter note into an eighth note tied to a quarter note. More details here if you want to read about it!
- The first note in the right hand of m. 16 is misaligned; just delete and re-enter it.
- Measure 21 beat 2 in the left hand should be an F instead of an E.
- I think the 16th notes that fall on the beat would be a bit easier to read as a staccato 8th note instead of a 16th with a dotted eighth rest afterwards. (Also it looks like the .mus file is out of sync with the PDF for this part right now?

Also, there are a handful of wrong notes in measures 15-18, mostly in the left hand. I'll let you take a look at those first, let me know if you need help!

[Lumaga]

I guess this one was tougher to arrange than I considered going into it.  I'll come back with an update next week.

[Latios212]

No worries, take your time! The sheet's looking pretty good, it's just a handful of small things that need adjusting.

[Lumaga]

I would suggest adding them to the eighth notes in the right hand in m. 7-8 just like you did in m. 11.

Sure.  Got it.

- Rhythm grouping: a couple of these measures need to show beat 3. So in measure 10, split the half rest into two quarter rests, and in measure 12 split the dotted quarter note into an eighth note tied to a quarter note. More details here if you want to read about it!

Thanks for this tip and resource.  I changed both as described.

- The first note in the right hand of m. 16 is misaligned; just delete and re-enter it.

Weird how it misaligned this, but it's good now.

- Measure 21 beat 2 in the left hand should be an F instead of an E.

Great ear to catch this.  What tipped you off?  Hearing the wrong note?  Understanding what the progression was intended to be?  I also had to change a note on m. 22 LH after reviewing this.

- I think the 16th notes that fall on the beat would be a bit easier to read as a staccato 8th note instead of a 16th with a dotted eighth rest afterwards. (Also it looks like the .mus file is out of sync with the PDF for this part right now?

Yes, I think I may have printed to PDF and uploaded the files before actually saving the .mus file.
Also changed in m. 19 and 20, but I don't know if this is actually written better than it previously was.  I get why you recommended it though.

Also, there are a handful of wrong notes in measures 15-18, mostly in the left hand. I'll let you take a look at those first, let me know if you need help!

This was probably 50% wrong.  I've rewritten the left hand of measures 14-18 after reviewing the file with NSFPlay.  It has features to isolate channels and show what note is being played based on the sound's output frequency.  Really useful, and I'll be using this going forward.  This helped me identify how to split the voices in measure 17 for clarity and accuracy.

Thanks so much for the thorough review!  I'm excited to get this one out.

[Latios212]

This was probably 50% wrong.  I've rewritten the left hand of measures 14-18 after reviewing the file with NSFPlay.  It has features to isolate channels and show what note is being played based on the sound's output frequency.  Really useful, and I'll be using this going forward.  This helped me identify how to split the voices in measure 17 for clarity and accuracy.

Yep, looks much better! I'm hearing only E/D in the RH of m. 14 though - not the C and B octave doubling the bass.

Great ear to catch this.  What tipped you off?  Hearing the wrong note?  Understanding what the progression was intended to be?  I also had to change a note on m. 22 LH after reviewing this.

Yep, just hearing the wrong note. I use Audiostretch for checking note accuracy but the tool you mentioned works well for NES tracks

Also changed in m. 19 and 20, but I don't know if this is actually written better than it previously was.  I get why you recommended it though.

The dotted eighth rest should be split into an eighth rest + 16th rest in order to expose beat 3. Then it should look better!

One more thing to mention is the layering in m. 17 - it's correct but the beat 2 lower layer is misaligned and the quarter rests should be raised a bit in order to keep it above the lower layer part.

Thanks so much for the thorough review!  I'm excited to get this one out.

You're very welcome I have a few more comments about the aesthetics/formatting, but I think those might be a little outside what you can do with Finale Notepad which it looks like you're using. Once the few things above are addressed, I'll help you make those adjustments!

[Lumaga]

Ok.  This latest update should do it.

It seems like the most egregious errors in this sheet were in LH m. 13-18, and most other things were either minor or stylistic.  All of these, of course, are important to address.  I've learned so much over the past month about music, arranging, and Finale NotePad (which you've correctly surmised that I'm using).  I'm looking forward to applying everything I've learned to future arrangements.

You mention some other aesthetics and formatting changes that should be made.  Anything you can point out specifically for my own understanding?  I appreciate the offer to help me on the finer points which might be outside my ability at the moment.

[Latios212]

Ok.  This latest update should do it.

One last thing I think you may have forgotten to do with this sheet is remove the octave doubled C and B in m. 14 RH.

It seems like the most egregious errors in this sheet were in LH m. 13-18, and most other things were either minor or stylistic.  All of these, of course, are important to address.  I've learned so much over the past month about music, arranging, and Finale NotePad (which you've correctly surmised that I'm using).  I'm looking forward to applying everything I've learned to future arrangements.

Awesome! Thanks for your attentiveness looking forward to more.

You mention some other aesthetics and formatting changes that should be made.  Anything you can point out specifically for my own understanding?  I appreciate the offer to help me on the finer points which might be outside my ability at the moment.

Yep, of course! Let's take a closer look and compare the current file with this one I've edited. Unfortunately, most of these things aren't editable with Finale Notepad, only full Finale.

The current file

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Updated file

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Differences include:
- Standardizing top/right/bottom page margins to avoid the music and text from going too close to the edge of the page
- Changing the number of measures per system so you don't have a stretched out measure in the last system
- Moving the fifth system to the second page to use the space better
- Making the tempo marking an expression rather than a text box
- Changing "By" to "by" in the composer/arranger info

Please feel free to use the updated file in your submission (also contains the note edits in the first comment) and let me know if you have any other questions

[Lumaga]

Before I uploaded these new ones, I checked them out in Finale Notepad 2012.  The first two measures are faster than the rest of the song.  What could have caused this?  Adjusting the tempo in the editor doesn't do anything anymore.  Is this something that was or needs to be changed in the full version of Finale?  This also shows in the MIDI export also.  I don't seem to be able to fix this on my own.

[Latios212]

Oops, the tempo marking was set to the wrong tempo. Check the file again

[Lumaga]

Updated.  I'm crossing my fingers here that this is the final change here.

[Latios212]

Haha that's it from me, approved! Someone else will double check next ^^