[DELETED] [NDS] Nintendogs - "Surprise Record" by PokéMaster

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Nintendogs
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Surprise Record
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: PokéMaster

[PokeMaestro]

[Latios212]

The updaters would like their hearing back... you linked the wrong version. That one is a joke version and has a pretty nasty jump scare in the middle. Don't know if that was accidental or not, but please be mindful. I have modified your above post to put it behind a spoiler warning.

The original is here:

[Latios212]

Anyway...

- For the composer/arranger text, I would suggest the following instead of "Edited by":

Composition by Franz Joseph Haydn
Arrangement by Hajime Wakai
Piano arrangement by PokeMaestro

- URL missing a / at the end
- You can just use a tenuto mark (horizontal line) instead of "ten." in the first system
- For the "surprise" chord in m. 16 the ff doesn't have enough room - it's colliding with the stem of the LH part. You could either widen the space between the LH/RH staves or flip the LH octave down.
- Also about the chord, I would suggest adding accents and the fifth (D) to give it some more punch.
- The left hand in m. 23-24 and 31-32 should be an octave lower.
- Extra mf mark in m. 25 is not needed
- I don't think you need the (pp) in m. 9, it's not really any different from the beginning is it?
- I would suggest reducing the space between systems a little bit so you have room to put the footer within the page margins. See this topic: https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=10719.0

[PokeMaestro]

Anyway...

- For the composer/arranger text, I would suggest the following instead of "Edited by":

Composition by Franz Joseph Haydn
Arrangement by Hajime Wakai
Piano arrangement by PokeMaestro
- URL missing a / at the end
- You can just use a tenuto mark (horizontal line) instead of "ten." in the first system
- For the "surprise" chord in m. 16 the ff doesn't have enough room - it's colliding with the stem of the LH part. You could either widen the space between the LH/RH staves or flip the LH octave down.
- Also about the chord, I would suggest adding accents and the fifth (D) to give it some more punch.
- The left hand in m. 23-24 and 31-32 should be an octave lower.
- Extra mf mark in m. 25 is not needed
- I don't think you need the (pp) in m. 9, it's not really any different from the beginning is it?
- I would suggest reducing the space between systems a little bit so you have room to put the footer within the page margins. See this topic: https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=10719.0

Wait, I'm confused. Was there already a feedback or did you just put it in a quote?

[Latios212]

Sorry, updated the formatting.

The updaters would like their hearing back... you linked the wrong version. That one is a joke version and has a pretty nasty jump scare in the middle. Don't know if that was accidental or not, but please be mindful. I have modified your above post to put it behind a spoiler warning.

Also this. Please don't do that in the future.

[PokeMaestro]

I have to apologise to the updaters and feedback people. I had no bad intentions, just wanted to make a joke. I realised that it wasn't fun and I won't do this again.

[PokeMaestro]

Okay, the sheet is updated.

- URL missing a / at the end

Actually the URL isn't missing, or what exactly did you mean?

- You can just use a tenuto mark (horizontal line) instead of "ten." in the first system

What horizontal line? I wrote like this because it's also in the urtext edition.

- For the "surprise" chord in m. 16 the ff doesn't have enough room - it's colliding with the stem of the LH part. You could either widen the space between the LH/RH staves or flip the LH octave down.

I flipped it down.

- Also about the chord, I would suggest adding accents and the fifth (D) to give it some more punch.

Cool idea, updated.

- The left hand in m. 23-24 and 31-32 should be an octave lower.

Hm, in the orignal both octaves are played, but in the lower octave it sounds better, you're right

- Extra mf mark in m. 25 is not needed

deleted

- I don't think you need the (pp) in m. 9, it's not really any different from the beginning is it?

In the absolutely original it's written with a pianissimo, so I thought the player could choose if he wants to play in more quiet or not.

- I would suggest reducing the space between systems a little bit so you have room to put the footer within the page margins.

I did not really unterstand the topic you've linked, so I've tried a bit in the sheet. I don't know whether that is it.

[Latios212]

I did not really unterstand the topic you've linked, so I've tried a bit in the sheet. I don't know whether that is it.

Here's a file with some adjustments: https://www.dropbox.com/s/86amf7x8yecg8c7/Surprise%20Record.musx?dl=0
- Page margins were good at 0.5 except 1 inch on the left is rather much. I decreased it to 0.75.
- The system margins should be zero on the left and right so that they line up with the page margins you set. (Except for the first system which needs some space on the left for the "Piano" staff name)
- Footer text set to be within the page margins and game title centered on the page

- URL missing a / at the end

Actually the URL isn't missing, or what exactly did you mean?

It was this on the sheet: https://www.ninsheetmusic.org
It should be: https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/

- You can just use a tenuto mark (horizontal line) instead of "ten." in the first system

What horizontal line? I wrote like this because it's also in the urtext edition.

This:
I think that's what I'm used to seeing more, although I guess what you have is fine too.

Feel free to update the submission with my file above, I think that's mostly all I had to say about this sheet

[PokeMaestro]

Thank you! I've adopted your version

[Latios212]

Alrighty, approved

[Static]

Note-wise, I don't have anything to say. This is great. I just have a few arrangement suggestions:

• m17-32 has a wide variety of dynamic contrasts that I think would be helpful to notate. It's definitely not just mezzoforte the entire way through.
• The 8th notes in m24 and 32 sound the same length as those in m21-22. I think they should be staccato.

But the real issue I have with this submission is that I'm not sure it's really necessary. It's not so much of an "arrangement" by Wakai than it is a note-for-note rendition of Haydn's 94th Symphony. The few differences there are are either very minor (the specific octave placement of the bass, for example), or are just notational changes that you made (like writing m23 without the grace note). Anyone else have thoughts here?

[PokeMaestro]

• m17-32 has a wide variety of dynamic contrasts that I think would be helpful to notate. It's definitely
• not just mezzoforte the entire way through.
  The 8th notes in m24 and 32 sound the same length as those in m21-22. I think they should be staccato.

Updated, added some cresc. brackets.

Anyone else have thoughts here?

For the sake of completeness, I would advocate inclusion in the NSM library. Also, this record is very well known/popular among Nintendogs players, I don't know if that would be worth leaving it out. Besides, it's only a small fragment from the second movement of the 94th, so from there it's also a unique piece somewhere I think

[Static]

After some discussion, the updaters have agreed that it would be best to not accept this sheet. While we do allow remixes/arrangements of existing works, this is essentially verbatim, even if an excerpt. I understand the desire for a fully complete library, but the sheets hosted here should be original to the game.