[SW] Paper Mario: The Origami King - "Vellumental Battle" by Greg

[Greg]

Should be taken care of. I do prefer m.19-20 as is, to mirror the previous iteration of the same pattern (and on balance I think it's easier to read both iterations in treble clef than in bass clef).

[mastersuperfan]

Last thing: what do you think about the following measure distribution? There's extra space on pg. 3 for another system, so:

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Also make sure that your systems are spaced the same on pg. 3 as they are on pg. 2!

[Static]

^ That looks good, but I'd actually recommend just 3 measures for the bottom system on page 1. Maybe put that extra measure into the second or fifth system on page 2.

[mastersuperfan]

^ That looks good, but I'd actually recommend just 3 measures for the bottom system on page 1. Maybe put that extra measure into the second or fifth system on page 2.

I think that four measures in the second system on page 2 looks way too cramped, IMO. The fifth measure on page 2 works, but then m23-30 doesn't fit nicely into two systems, which I don't like. So overall I'd personally recommend the one I posted.

[Greg]

Seems good to me. I've updated with MSF's suggested measure distribution.

[Static]

I think that four measures in the second system on page 2 looks way too cramped, IMO. The fifth measure on page 2 works, but then m23-30 doesn't fit nicely into two systems, which I don't like. So overall I'd personally recommend the one I posted.

Fair enough, but I still think the last system on page 1 is quite cramped the way you have it, at least to me. One of the systems on page 3 I think would be better suited to have an extra measure. Something like this perhaps?

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[Greg]

I spent some time staring at both measure distributions and ended up switching to Static's.

[mastersuperfan]

Fair enough, but I still think the last system on page 1 is quite cramped the way you have it, at least to me. One of the systems on page 3 I think would be better suited to have an extra measure. Something like this perhaps?

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That does look good too. I see your point that m13-16 does look a bit cramped, so I think either way is fine—whichever Greg decides.
Ninja'd. Never mind lol

In the meantime, last few things:
- m18 LH beat 4 rhythm is miswritten as two eighths instead of 16th-dotted 8th.
- I would add another note below the Eb (either a G or a C) on m25/29 LH beat 4. Without a second note under the Eb, beat 4 feels a little empty.
- You might consider making the bottom note on m39 RH beat 4 a C instead of a Bb (under the F). I think the C sounds a bit better than the Bb—up to you.
- I would simplify m45/46/47 LH beats 2-3 like this, to get rid of repeated notes (especially with the little finger, which might be hard):

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- On a similar note, you might consider simplifying the LH pickup from m44 into m45. Repeating those notes four times in a row does not seem easy...

I think that's it. Great sheet!

[Greg]

Sure, updated the sheet. (I will say that the difference in the m18 LH rhythm is intentional: the original also differs there.)

Thanks again for all the feedback, sheet's way better than when I originally submitted it.

[mastersuperfan]

I think that's it. Great sheet!

Oops, that was not quite it.
- Can you go to Document > Document Options > Key Signatures and uncheck the box that says "When Switching Between Sharps and Flats"? The canceling naturals at the key changes are redundant when it's switching from sharps to flats, so this just makes it look cleaner.
- Your copyright information on the first page is below the page margin (should be bottom-aligned; click on it and go to Text > Alignment > Bottom (Footer). You might also want to move up the systems on pg. 1 a wee bit to distance it a bit from the copyright once you move the copyright up.
- Can you highlight all the measures and go to Utilities > Music Spacing > Apply Note Spacing? The layout updates slightly when I do this.
- You also may or may not consider putting a two-note slur on beat 3 to 3.75 in m8/44 RH.

Now that's it.

[Greg]

No worries, you got it! (Although I wish I knew how the heck the copyright got misaligned...)

[mastersuperfan]

Sweet!

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by mastersuperfan.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot