[SWITCH] Pokémon Sword & Pokémon Shield - "Battle! (Calyrex)" by Kricketune54

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Submission Information:
Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Sword & Pokémon Shield
Console: Nintendo Switch
Title: Battle! (Calyrex)
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Kricketune54

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[Kricketune54]

Wasn't originally going to submit this yet but I got some excellent feedback tonight (sorry I do not know your username dropbox user lol) and figured it was time to let the bunny loose

[Latios212]

Sorry for the wait!

Quick question first - do you have a source for the composer? As far as I recall we don't have a breakdown for Sword/Shield's soundtrack per track, but Minako Adachi and Go Ichinose are listed on the credits.

Okay, now on to the time signatures! I don't feel like what you have right now fits quite right. For later reference, here's what you currently have:

Spoiler

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Let's look at the first part, up until measure 10 which is definitely correct as the starting point where the drums drop. It's difficult to notate the rhythms without any backing accompaniment for context, but a couple of things that seem off:
- The main melody at the start doesn't begin at the beginning of a measure like it does in the other places in the song - m. 14, 27, 31, 47.
- The descent in m. 7-8 is offset by a quarter unlike in m. 53 which is a simple 4/4 measure with descending quarter notes.

With that in mind, shifting some things around, I think this makes more sense for the first 9 measures:

Spoiler

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[close]

A few time signature displacements, but I think the downbeats make more sense especially in context of the rest of the song. Except for measure 3... that one's still weird. Toyed around with it along with MSF, and came up with this:

Spoiler

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[close]

This puts the bass strikes on downbeats instead of writing them as syncopated. This does have some weird side effects though particularly with that one F# that doesn't quite belong in the phrase before or after it.

What do you (or others) think about these?

[Kricketune54]

Sorry for the wait!

Quick question first - do you have a source for the composer? As far as I recall we don't have a breakdown for Sword/Shield's soundtrack per track, but Minako Adachi and Go Ichinose are listed on the credits.

Okay, now on to the time signatures! I don't feel like what you have right now fits quite right. For later reference, here's what you currently have:

Spoiler

You cannot view this attachment.

[close]

Let's look at the first part, up until measure 10 which is definitely correct as the starting point where the drums drop. It's difficult to notate the rhythms without any backing accompaniment for context, but a couple of things that seem off:
- The main melody at the start doesn't begin at the beginning of a measure like it does in the other places in the song - m. 14, 27, 31, 47.
- The descent in m. 7-8 is offset by a quarter unlike in m. 53 which is a simple 4/4 measure with descending quarter notes.

With that in mind, shifting some things around, I think this makes more sense for the first 9 measures:

Spoiler

You cannot view this attachment.

[close]

A few time signature displacements, but I think the downbeats make more sense especially in context of the rest of the song. Except for measure 3... that one's still weird. Toyed around with it along with MSF, and came up with this:

Spoiler

You cannot view this attachment.

[close]

This puts the bass strikes on downbeats instead of writing them as syncopated. This does have some weird side effects though particularly with that one F# that doesn't quite belong in the phrase before or after it.

What do you (or others) think about these?

No biggie, I understand NSM staff was busy last month with the replacement project

I don't have a composer source so I'll put both of them.

Thank you for the clarity on the time signatures here.  I agree with the 1/4 bar because it still sounds correct, though honestly this is the first time I've tried arranging something with any semblance of an irregular time signature.

Uploaded new version with the changes as recommended.  Are there any other bits to fix here?

[Latios212]

No biggie, I understand NSM staff was busy last month with the replacement project

I don't have a composer source so I'll put both of them.

Thank you for the clarity on the time signatures here.  I agree with the 1/4 bar because it still sounds correct, though honestly this is the first time I've tried arranging something with any semblance of an irregular time signature.

Uploaded new version with the changes as recommended.  Are there any other bits to fix here?

Okey, sounds good! Yeah, more feedback coming right up

One major (no pun intended) point across the whole sheet - you have a lot of notes written as Fn that should be spelled as E#. This sheet is written in C# minor and the E# is the major third above the root. (compare to: using E natural instead of F flat when in C minor - keysig of 3 flats.)

- For m. 7-9 I would recommend lowering the RH melody an octave back to where it is in the original (and removing/adjusting the harmonies below it accordingly)
- Remove the half note in m. 15 that's tied to the previous measure
- m. 16 beat 4 - would suggest making that a power chord too (B in the middle instead of G#)
- Some notes in m. 17-19 RH are flipped down unnecessarily
- Use a clef change for at least part of the section m. 17-18 is in - the chords are too far off the top staff.
- I think the second chord in m. 18 has a couple wrong notes - sounds like D#-B-D#
- Last chord in m. 18-19 - I'd recommend octave doubling that E# on the bottom of the chord too.
- Similar comments as the above few for m. 48-52.
- For m. 20-35 LH I'm consistently hearing C# in the left hand on beat 3.5 (like how you wrote in m. 20/22, unlike how you wrote in 21/23)
- m. 53 beat 1 should be a B major chord - suggest writing it like D# F# B D#
- I'd suggest filling out the chords in m. 54, and the last one in 56 (adding B A G# F# in 54 and G# in m. 56)
- Cn should be B# in 55

Stopping here for now since that's already quite a lot, but note to self for next time: check the RH in m. 20-43 and LH in 36-43

[Kricketune54]

For m. 7-9 I would recommend lowering the RH melody an octave back to where it is in the original (and removing/adjusting the harmonies below it accordingly)

Kind of confused about this feedback because I don't what you mean by lowering an octave back to where it is in the original because I thought that was the octave in the original.

For m. 20-35 LH I'm consistently hearing C# in the left hand on beat 3.5 (like how you wrote in m. 20/22, unlike how you wrote in 21/23)

Yeah I went back and forth on this but I agree with you on the C#

G# in m. 56)

Did you mean m. 55?  Or Did you think G# should be added to bottom of 56

[Kricketune54]

Files updated minus that first change.  I also preempted you a bit on fixing some of the stuff in the RH in m. 20-43 and LH in 36-43

[Latios212]

- For m. 7-9 I would recommend lowering the RH melody an octave back to where it is in the original (and removing/adjusting the harmonies below it accordingly)

Kind of confused about this feedback because I don't what you mean by lowering an octave back to where it is in the original because I thought that was the octave in the original.

This is what I hear for 6-10, more or less:
You cannot view this attachment.

Did you mean m. 55?  Or Did you think G# should be added to bottom of 56

Oops, yes 55 you have it correct now

[Kricketune54]

Okay thanks for clarifying that! Files have been updated

[Latios212]

Cool. Sorry once again for the delay, this piece is rather tricky to check in the mid-section.

Here's my feedback for the remaining parts which I haven't checked yet:
- m. 20/25 beat 3 RH sounds like G# instead of A
- m. 22 RH should use E# instead of Fn
- m. 30/34 would suggest lowering the G# whole note down an octave to keep the melody on top
- In m. 37 I would suggest writing in harmony in the RH for beats 3-4 and instead having the LH play the bassline instead of everything moving in parallel. I think I hear the bass going E-B-E-G# like in 41
- m. 41 beat 3 RH sounds like G# instead of B

I'll fix up the formatting for you after these edits are made and we'll have another updater do a pass.

[Kricketune54]

Thanks, files are updated!

[Latios212]

You're welcome! Since that was the last major round of feedback from me, I went ahead and updated the files with some cleanup work done. Made the following changes:
- I think you missed the E#s in m. 22 and G# in m. 41 I mentioned above
- Flipped some incorrectly flipped stems
- Adjusted which notes are affected by the bass clef changes in m. 17-18 and 50-51

Also, I adjusted the dynamics on the first page a bit. The beginning was missing a dynamic so I moved the mf from measure 7 to measure 1. I also made m. 11 mp and 15 mf since measure 11 is rather subdued compared to the section around it.

Let me know if this looks good to you.

[Kricketune54]

You're welcome! Since that was the last major round of feedback from me, I went ahead and updated the files with some cleanup work done. Made the following changes:
- I think you missed the E#s in m. 22 and G# in m. 41 I mentioned above

Also, I adjusted the dynamics on the first page a bit. The beginning was missing a dynamic so I moved the mf from measure 7 to measure 1. I also made m. 11 mp and 15 mf since measure 11 is rather subdued compared to the section around it.

Let me know if this looks good to you.

This looks good to me, thank you! 

Sometimes I make a mental mistake where I read RH on here as if it's the secondary part (not sure why I do that as a righty) which is why I missed the E#'s; I was looking at the LH part at 22 and read it as correct.  As for the tempo, I had it the first time I submitted this arrangement here, only for it to get removed on accident I think by myself and missed subsequently.

[Latios212]

Gotcha, and you're welcome ^^

Approving this one now!

[Maelstrom]

LH:
-m27 sounds like m23, not m22.
-Would recommend dotted tenutos for m36-37 off beats and similar.
-m38 - Pretty sure I hear a quarter note on b1 and b3.5 as an 8th, possibly an octave lower than the previous E#

RH:
-m28 - layer 2 chord should be G#-B, same in m32
-m28-29 - I think I hear some chord motion here in the 2nd layer between the measures but I can't pinpoint what's moving so I guess you aren't forced to change it. Thought I'd mention it though.

The rest looks fine