[SNES] Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War - "End of Despair" by Libera

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Fire Emblem
Game: Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War
Console: Super Nintendo Entertainment System
Title: End of Despair
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Libera

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[Libera]

[Latios212]

Just taking a peek now, but before I forget - I notice you tend to have the subtitle pretty close to the title which is fine in most cases but here the p in Despair really demands a bit of breathing room underneath it.

Will be back to check the rest at a later time

[JDMEK5]

What a cool song! Also this looks wonderful; lots of love for the contrabass.

In the beginning section, would you want to notate separation between notes at all? The original is clearly separated with the 16ths, but without direction it's hard to tell that it should be that way from the sheet.

As a bassist, I love the stuff you've done to transcribe the bass part to the piano! (*cough cough measure 15 cough*)
But also in measure 15, you've got two quarter rests on beat 3 in the left hand and I can't tell why. To me, seems like a typo.
Also in measure 15, the staccatos so close together between the staves gives me pause. It's not technically a problem, but I feel like a bit more space here might go an aesthetic distance.
Actually on the subject of spacing for aesthetic distance, you've got a lot of page space to use. It's good to use the white space, aye, but I'd suggest definitely giving everything plenty of space to breathe as well. Page 2 especially could use with a bit more space.

I think that's it from me though; I love the song, the ledger lines, everything. What a great sheet!

[Libera]

In the beginning section, would you want to notate separation between notes at all? The original is clearly separated with the 16ths, but without direction it's hard to tell that it should be that way from the sheet.

I've added in a direction which I feel is probably sufficient.

But also in measure 15, you've got two quarter rests on beat 3 in the left hand and I can't tell why. To me, seems like a typo.

I'm not really sure what the issue you're seeing is.  Yes, it should be two crotchet rests, because the bass doesn't do anything on beats 2 and 3.  Maybe there's some miscommunication.

Also in measure 15, the staccatos so close together between the staves gives me pause. It's not technically a problem, but I feel like a bit more space here might go an aesthetic distance.

Personally, I don't think it's much of an issue but I've widened it a little anyway.

Actually on the subject of spacing for aesthetic distance, you've got a lot of page space to use. It's good to use the white space, aye, but I'd suggest definitely giving everything plenty of space to breathe as well. Page 2 especially could use with a bit more space.

I'm not entirely sure what you want me to do here.  I don't think that comically spreading the staves out to fill up the white space simply because it's there is a good idea (having massive gaps between staves is itself a problem), but I have spread it out a little more.

What a cool song! Also this looks wonderful; lots of love for the contrabass.

I think that's it from me though; I love the song, the ledger lines, everything. What a great sheet!

Thanks!  And thanks for giving it a look.

[Latios212]

Looks great! Just a couple suggestions:
- If you want, a slur above the RH melody in m. 14-15 could serve to more clearly differentiate it from the staccato eighth notes (similar to m. 24-25)
- I think m. 22 would be best with courtesy naturals in the LH.

Oh, and lastly this:

Just taking a peek now, but before I forget - I notice you tend to have the subtitle pretty close to the title which is fine in most cases but here the p in Despair really demands a bit of breathing room underneath it.

[Libera]

Made the suggested edits, thanks for checking. 

Regarding the subtitle, I actually had already moved it lower than my template before I submitted it.  I then lowered it again at your request but forgot to mention it in my previous post.  I'll lower it once more but I'm not going to bring it down any further than this.

[Latios212]

Gotcha, I had just assumed you didn't touch it before since there was no comment on it. Looks better now, approving!

[mastersuperfan]

Looking great! A few last minor things:
- The staccatos in m15 LH should be below the noteheads rather than above.
- Very minor, but the "cresc." in m16 is pretty low, instead of being closer to the middle between the staves. I only bring it up because I worry that someone might interpret that as "cresc. LH only," so I would recommend moving the "cresc." up a bit (and if you're keeping dynamics aligned, there's some space to move the dynamics in m19 slightly upward too).
- Since you have the white space for it, you might consider increasing the space between the two staves in each system (or only some systems), which could allow you to place the dynamics in m20/24 between the notes instead of being offset to the side. m24-25 are also a little vertically crowded with the slurs.

[Libera]

Thanks for checking!

- The staccatos in m15 LH should be below the noteheads rather than above.

Good catch.

- Very minor, but the "cresc." in m16 is pretty low, instead of being closer to the middle between the staves. I only bring it up because I worry that someone might interpret that as "cresc. LH only," so I would recommend moving the "cresc." up a bit (and if you're keeping dynamics aligned, there's some space to move the dynamics in m19 slightly upward too).

Yeah that is very minor.  I moved it a little but honestly I don't think this is very important at all.

- Since you have the white space for it, you might consider increasing the space between the two staves in each system (or only some systems), which could allow you to place the dynamics in m20/24 between the notes instead of being offset to the side. m24-25 are also a little vertically crowded with the slurs.

I don't think opening up the staves is worth it just to centre the position of one dynamic, and, once again, the existence of white space is not an argument in favour of making comically spaced out layout choices.  Bars 24-25 are a little cramped due the slurs, I agree, but the following two bars on that system are much less dense, so it's not as easy as just opening the staves up until 24-25 look perfect.  In any case, I've added a little bit of extra space there to alleviate the issue slightly.

[mastersuperfan]

Looks good!

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by mastersuperfan.

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