[DELETED] [PC] Cave Story - "Moonsong" by BrainyLucario

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Cave Story
Console: PC
Title: Moonsong
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: BrainyLucario

[BrainyLucario]

I'm honestly nervous for review on this. It was really challenging to do and i feel like i messed up on a few parts with the ostinatos

[JDMEK5]

I'm honestly nervous for review on this. It was really challenging to do and i feel like i messed up on a few parts with the ostinatos

Haha well let me start then by pointing out a typo: "Coposition by..."

Honestly though, despite having that retro sound to it this one is a toughie for sure.

Before I forget, as correct as you are with that ostinato pattern in the RH starting at measure 9, I wonder if it might still be an idea to just make them straight ol' eighths rather than sticking that 16th in there just for the amount of difficulty you'll lose in exchange for not much from the texture. A good trade-off basically.

- I'm not sure how sold I am on the last two notes in the LH beat 4 of measure 8. Sounds like it stays on a D to me... Unless you're aiming for the pickup to the upcoming bass bit but check my next comment for more on that. Aside from this spot, the LH seems good to that point.
- I'd definitely move the bass starting in measure 9 down an octave. More accurate and will go a long way for the texture. Just highlight all those measures and hit "8".
- Measures 5-8 RH have another voice that's kind of in your sheet right now. I'd use two voices to write it though. Here's how the entire section would look like if I were to revamp it (I didn't change the voices- just made it functional):

- This^ continues through measures 9 and onwards as well. In my example, I put it in the LH without necessarily answering the possibility question. From here, there are a couple of options. You can tie over the downbeats like I did in measure 8-9 or just omit the bass notes when you need to. Either way, I think that'll give you all four voices then. I'd recommend writing them all in and then taking things away to make it possible. Easier than trying to add after the fact or even during.
- In my example, you can see in measure 6 RH I shortened the quarter notes to make them shorter to match the original. This kind of thing also happens in measures 25 onward so I'd take a listen for any notes that are shorter than full length (detached).
- Measures 25-26 RH the G in the lower harmony repeats for the C's as well.
- Measure 19 RH ostinato stays on C instead of going down to G but I'm assuming you did this so the melody isn't compromised. Good call! That being said, if the top is staying on G, you could probably make the lower note of the ostinato a C. It's easier to play that way and your harmony will still be intact as well.
- Your decision to ditch the harmony at measure 25 may be wise, but if you haven't already, I'd suggest trying it out first just to be sure you can't/shouldn't include it. If it's not going to go in here, make it deliberately omitted. As it stands it kinda looks incomplete. Cleaning up those measures will go a long way. Make it clear why you didn't put it in.

This piece has a handful of characteristics that you can capitalize on (and in some places, have already capitalized on) to make your life easier. The biggest is that of layering. The melody just repeats and usually you'll only have one new voice being added. For example, measures 5-8 in my example the melody as written in the first layer is good for m. 13-16 as well.

Also, much like retro music, it will do you good to listen for each voice as its own track- its own melody. This will keep you oriented and minimize getting lost in the pitches. Once I gathered my orientation, I found it much easier to track which voices were doing what, where, and when. A great tactic for this kind of arranging (for accuracy) is to just write everything out regardless of playability. Then go in after and move stuff around to make it possible. That way you can use the whole picture to notate things cleaner as well (note the differences between your original measures and mine).


I think I'll leave you with that much for now. Including those will really allow for a greater depth of nitpicking which will be much closer to a final acceptance.

The piece is challenging, but if you can keep your head and wits about you, I think you might find it's easier to work with than you think. That's the experience I had anyways.

EDIT: My posted example has a typo: Measure 7 RH layer 2 should still be an F tied over from the previous measure, not an E. My bad.

[BrainyLucario]

Thanks for the advice. I'll look over it more later. Currently I'm in Florida and away from my computer

[Latios212]

hey there

[Latios212]

Archiving this one for inactivity