[Wii] Kirby's Return to Dream Land - "Road to Victory (The Arena)" by LeviR.star

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Kirby
Game: Kirby's Return to Dream Land
Console: Nintendo Wii
Title: Road to Victory (The Arena)
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: LeviR.star

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[LeviR.star]

I will have questions for the updaters on this submission periodically.

[Libera]

I will have questions for the updaters on this submission periodically.

...What does this mean?

Anyway,

-I think most of these left hand stuff is actually power chords in the original but if you prefer it lighter then that's probably fine.
-It seems like there are some hits missing in the left hand (akin to how you have it in bar 33) in 27 onwards.
-You could try include the countermelody in bar 15-16.  It might not work though as I haven't really tried it yet.
-Something I'd definitely recommend is including some additional harmony from the pads in 35-42.  I have tried that and it works pretty well (just single semibreves in the right hand for each bar.)

[LeviR.star]

-I think most of these left hand stuff is actually power chords in the original but if you prefer it lighter then that's probably fine.
-It seems like there are some hits missing in the left hand (akin to how you have it in bar 33) in 27 onwards.
-You could try include the countermelody in bar 15-16.  It might not work though as I haven't really tried it yet.
-Something I'd definitely recommend is including some additional harmony from the pads in 35-42.  I have tried that and it works pretty well (just single semibreves in the right hand for each bar.)

- I don't really hear it as power chords in the LH; anything more than octaves would be a bit much, imo
- you didn't really specify, so I did my best to re-evaluate what I had and add a few in from m. 27 - 29
- believe me, I tried it and it didn't work very well, so if you can try your hand at it and come up with something good, I'm open to ideas
- could you write that out and show me what you have in mind?

Here's the current file.

[Libera]

- I don't really hear it as power chords in the LH; anything more than octaves would be a bit much, imo

That's fair.

- you didn't really specify, so I did my best to re-evaluate what I had and add a few in from m. 27 - 29

It looks good to me now!

- believe me, I tried it and it didn't work very well, so if you can try your hand at it and come up with something good, I'm open to ideas

I mean I think my thought was to just put it in verbatim below the current line, which is probably what you tried and didn't like, I assume because it overlaps too much with the chords.  If you've considered it that's fine, I just thought I'd mention it.

- could you write that out and show me what you have in mind?

Sure, this was my thinking:

Spoiler

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[LeviR.star]

Sure, this was my thinking:

Spoiler

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[close]

Yea, I can do that!

Files updated. As far as my questions go, one is this: do the LH notes ever feel they need to be sustained? MSF suggested that the octaves aren't always shortened 8ths like I have written, but I personally think what I have is fine. What does everyone think right now?

[Libera]

Files updated. As far as my questions go, one is this: do the LH notes ever feel they need to be sustained? MSF suggested that the octaves aren't always shortened 8ths like I have written, but I personally think what I have is fine. What does everyone think right now?

The way you have it seems fine to me.

Something else I noticed is that perhaps it would be better to bracket the left hand notes rather than the melody notes, as the melody notes are more important.

I will have questions for the updaters on this submission periodically.

I still don't really understand what this means.  If you have questions, why not just ask them rather than holding them back for some indeterminate amount of time?

[LeviR.star]

I still don't really understand what this means.  If you have questions, why not just ask them rather than holding them back for some indeterminate amount of time?

That's just what I did; I asked about the sustaining of LH notes because you decided that my rhythm had been fixed. It's better to ask some of these as we go along, in case I get answers without having to ask. Like this one, which I was going to mention:

Something else I noticed is that perhaps it would be better to bracket the left hand notes rather than the melody notes, as the melody notes are more important.

Fixed. Do I have do something similar with the overlapping Gs in m. 20? Or is it fine as written?

[Libera]

Fixed. Do I have do something similar with the overlapping Gs in m. 20? Or is it fine as written?

I don't think it's necessary to put them in unless they would strike simultaneously.  It can start to look cluttered and/or confusing if you do it for overlaps too, at least in my opinion.

Well I think my work here is done, nice stuff.

[Latios212]

Notes and arrangement look great, good work guys.

A few minor visual things from me before accepting:
- I'd recommend using 4 systems on page 1 and 5 on page 3, but up to you
- Page 3 is out of the margin
- The staccato accent on the octave C's in m. 32 look a bit awkward right up against the tuplet. You could try something like this by flipping the marking and moving the bracket up:

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[LeviR.star]

- I'd recommend using 4 systems on page 1 and 5 on page 3, but up to you
- Page 3 is out of the margin
- The staccato accent on the octave C's in m. 32 look a bit awkward right up against the tuplet. You could try something like this by flipping the marking and moving the bracket up:

You cannot view this attachment.

- good idea; I'll make sure to keep this in mind from now on
- oop, forgot to fix that after I modified my template. Taken care of now
- I agree, that looks much nicer

Files fixed!

[Latios212]

Awesome. Just one last thing - the note on the top left is pretty far outside the page margin. I've (after checking via Discord) adjusted the spacing on the first page.

Good to go!

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot