[PS1] Xenogears - "Crimson Knight" by Static

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Xeno
Game: Xenogears
Console: PlayStation
Title: Crimson Knight
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Static

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[Static]

This is known by a lot of different translations, but I'm going off this.

[Libera]

Sorry for the wait!  Nice to see more Xenogears, although I only became aware of this stuff recently.

-One concern is with the consistency in the left hand pattern.  I assume the semiquaver bits are meant to emulate the snare drum, but those patterns don't seem to be present to me at bars 30, 33 etc.
-The harp roll in bar 23 ... It's kind of hard for me to make it out exactly but the contour sounds like two upwards slides, rather than three as you have it.  I think it might also start on a C instead of a Db?  Although it certainly ends on a G like you have it.
-The two semiquavers at the end of bar 40 sound like they're on the E (that makes the sus in your right hand) rather than a bass thing.  It doesn't really give the same sort of feel the way you currently have where it de-emphasises the resolution.
-The copyright isn't properly aligned to the bottom margin.  And neither are the subtitles or page numbers (to the top margin that is).
-There's actually a pad in the background of bars 25-28 that sounds like it's playing an open C-F dyad.  Maybe it's something you'd like to include, perhaps above the line currently in the right hand?
-I think it'd make more sense to have the E on top in the chord in bar 29 since that's the line that then moves onto the melody in bar 30.
-It might be nicer to have the ff line up with the hairpin in bar 22, but perhaps that puts it too off centre.

Nice stuff.

[Static]

-One concern is with the consistency in the left hand pattern.  I assume the semiquaver bits are meant to emulate the snare drum, but those patterns don't seem to be present to me at bars 30, 33 etc.

My interpretation of the snare part is a lot looser in that section for sure, but those 16th all fall where there's rolls in the original. With so many of them, I felt it was easier to simplify them to just 16th notes (instead of tremolos). But m31 should be regular 16th and not a triplet, so I fixed that. There are more rolls than what I indicated in the sheet, but I think adding anything else makes the part sound too cluttered, at least to me.

-The harp roll in bar 23 ... It's kind of hard for me to make it out exactly but the contour sounds like two upwards slides, rather than three as you have it.  I think it might also start on a C instead of a Db?  Although it certainly ends on a G like you have it.

It is 2 slides, but I wanted to keep everything in the same range so it ends on that G. Otherwise the 2nd slide would have to start a lot lower. I don't hear the C myself, but that low harp range is kind of hard for me to hear with everything else going on.

-The two semiquavers at the end of bar 40 sound like they're on the E (that makes the sus in your right hand) rather than a bass thing.  It doesn't really give the same sort of feel the way you currently have where it de-emphasises the resolution.

I kept the 16ths as Bs in the LH since its a B chord, but I hear the E in the RH so I added those 16ths too. I also moved the Bs in the RH in m40-41 to the top since that is the top voice there.

-The copyright isn't properly aligned to the bottom margin.  And neither are the subtitles or page numbers (to the top margin that is).
-There's actually a pad in the background of bars 25-28 that sounds like it's playing an open C-F dyad.  Maybe it's something you'd like to include, perhaps above the line currently in the right hand?
-I think it'd make more sense to have the E on top in the chord in bar 29 since that's the line that then moves onto the melody in bar 30.

I did all these things. For m25-28, I put the dyad in the LH since I think the harp line feels better to play in the RH (maybe that's just because I'm used to playing it that way). I don't think it should be too much trouble to play since it's just whole notes and that section is pedaled so the LH has time to move to/from that part.

-It might be nicer to have the ff line up with the hairpin in bar 22, but perhaps that puts it too off centre.

I had it like that originally, but I thought it looked weird being so far down (same for m40).

I hopefully made all these edits I probably shouldn't be doing this at 2am

[Libera]

My interpretation of the snare part is a lot looser in that section for sure, but those 16th all fall where there's rolls in the original. With so many of them, I felt it was easier to simplify them to just 16th notes (instead of tremolos). But m31 should be regular 16th and not a triplet, so I fixed that. There are more rolls than what I indicated in the sheet, but I think adding anything else makes the part sound too cluttered, at least to me.

Ok I can see your reasoning.  I think that triplet was also confusing me so I'm happy to see it go. :P  Everything else is understandable and I'm ok with.

It is 2 slides, but I wanted to keep everything in the same range so it ends on that G. Otherwise the 2nd slide would have to start a lot lower. I don't hear the C myself, but that low harp range is kind of hard for me to hear with everything else going on.

Is it that bad for the second slide to start lower?  I mean I guess it's fine as it is but I don't see why we can't try to mirror it as well as we can.  And yeah to be honest I'm not 100% confident either, so maybe we should get a third opinion on the starting pitch.

I kept the 16ths as Bs in the LH since its a B chord, but I hear the E in the RH so I added those 16ths too. I also moved the Bs in the RH in m40-41 to the top since that is the top voice there.

Did you mean to change the left hand notes to Es as well?   If you did, I'm not sure it's such a good idea...

For m25-28, I put the dyad in the LH since I think the harp line feels better to play in the RH (maybe that's just because I'm used to playing it that way). I don't think it should be too much trouble to play since it's just whole notes and that section is pedaled so the LH has time to move to/from that part.

That's fine, but you need to adjust the dynamic in bar 25 as it's currently inside one of the notes.

I had it like that originally, but I thought it looked weird being so far down (same for m40).

Yep that's fine, I thought that might be the reason.

[Static]

Is it that bad for the second slide to start lower?  I mean I guess it's fine as it is but I don't see why we can't try to mirror it as well as we can.  And yeah to be honest I'm not 100% confident either, so maybe we should get a third opinion on the starting pitch.

I messed around with some things to create a bigger slide.

Did you mean to change the left hand notes to Es as well?   If you did, I'm not sure it's such a good idea...

No, it's bad I agree. If there was a reason I did this, I forgot. Fixed.

That's fine, but you need to adjust the dynamic in bar 25 as it's currently inside one of the notes.

Fixed.

[Libera]

All looks great, nice work!

[Latios212]

Sweet, glad to see Xeno getting more love, especially Yasunori Mitsuda's stuff ^^

The one stylistic consideration I would suggest is to making the forceful strikes in the RH of m. 5/8/etc. more apparent. Something like including the fifths or just using accents to help differentiate that they're more marked than the lower repetitions in the subsequent measures would be nice. If you like, up to you.

Other visual stuff:
- Would suggest adding a bit of space at the beginning of m. 1 to account for the rolled chord
- The finger numbers in m. 6 would be better below the notes so as to avoid the triplet
- Any reason the chromatic descents in m. 11/18 are spelled with C# instead of Db?
- Maybe bend the lower tie in m. 40 up a bit more so it doesn't coincide with the ledger lines as much

[Static]

Fixed all the things. For the accents in m5, etc., I'd just like to keep it as is to differentiate it from the accents in m1 and 3. I think the fact that the notes are right on beat 1 already gives them a sense of heaviness.

Edit: Sorry I misread; I don't think accents would be good on beats 2-4 would be good either since those notes are already high, making them sound a bit more pronounced already. I left out the 5ths to make that part easier to play.

[Latios212]

Okay, sounds good! Accepting

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot