[3DS] Team Kirby Clash Deluxe - "Quest Board" by LeviR.star

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Kirby
Game: Team Kirby Clash Deluxe
Console: Nintendo 3DS
Title: Quest Board
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: LeviR.star

[attachment deleted by admin]

[LeviR.star]

I'm afraid I can't find a non-extended version of the song on YouTube, but I did find this.


Okay, main thing about this is that it's a big step up from what I normally arrange, so I saved it for a submission slot. My main concerns here lie within the left hand. Especially between measures 13 - 21, I need everyone who checks this sheet to re-evaluate the rhythms and harmonies I have in place, because they're experimental and I'm not very sure of them myself, and I will not be offended if someone offers to overhaul the bass line, because I'm ready to do just that. If anyone's got questions, ask away.

[Dekkadeci]

Heck yeah, the best Quest Board theme in the Kirby Clash sub-series! (IMO, both Super Kirby Clash ones are worse.)

In Bar 8's left-hand tied chord, I'm hearing an F as the topmost note in the original instead of a G.

In Bars 10-13, why does the right hand jump down an octave each time instead of up an octave? I personally hear (and sing) going up an octave instead of down in each of those measures. Also curious about why those right-hand notes in Bar 10 are C sharps instead of D flats--the passage sounds like it's modulating to F minor there, and D flats are more idiomatic in both C minor and F minor.

Why is there a half-measure of rests in Bar 23? IMO, that just stops the momentum right there and didn't sound natural. At the very least, there are two xylophone notes (at least I think they're from a xylophone) and then a drum roll where your rests are--at least transcribe the xylophone notes.

I'm hearing the last left-hand note in Bar 21 as a G in the original instead of an F.

[Static]

In addition to everything above:

• Pickup: I think this is more accurate instead of a held tremolo Bb, but if you don't think it sounds as good, then keep what you have:
  Spoiler

  

  [close]
• m10-13: I can see why you have the first note up an octave because of the xylophone, but I agree with Dekkadeci here that the overall feel of that section is down-up instead of up-down.
• m21 LH: I hear this instead:
  Spoiler

  

  [close]
• There is a lot of white space between systems and on the 2nd page, but the staves themselves seem really squished together. You have a lot of room, so I would recommend spacing them apart to maybe 1.2in.

[LeviR.star]

- In Bar 8's left-hand tied chord, I'm hearing an F as the topmost note in the original instead of a G.
- In Bars 10-13, why does the right hand jump down an octave each time instead of up an octave? I personally hear (and sing) going up an octave instead of down in each of those measures. Also curious about why those right-hand notes in Bar 10 are C sharps instead of D flats--the passage sounds like it's modulating to F minor there, and D flats are more idiomatic in both C minor and F minor.
- Why is there a half-measure of rests in Bar 23? IMO, that just stops the momentum right there and didn't sound natural. At the very least, there are two xylophone notes (at least I think they're from a xylophone) and then a drum roll where your rests are--at least transcribe the xylophone notes.

- noted, I'll fix that
- I personally never heard it that way, but I can be talked into changing it because I see your perspective now
- I know it really stops the momentum, but I'm not sure at the moment what to write in to fill the gap. And I'm not sure what I can turn those xylophone notes into that wouldn't sound out-of-place, either

• Pickup: I think this is more accurate instead of a held tremolo Bb, but if you don't think it sounds as good, then keep what you have:
  Spoiler

  

  [close]
• m21 LH: I hear this instead:
  Spoiler

  

  [close]
• There is a lot of white space between systems and on the 2nd page, but the staves themselves seem really squished together. You have a lot of room, so I would recommend spacing them apart to maybe 1.2in.

- that works better for the performer, so I'll change it to that. Thank you
- sounds pretty good to me. Re-writing that part
- how's that? Spaced far away enough?

Files updated except for Dekka's comment about the half rest. I'm going to need you guys to paint a better picture of what you want written there that will still sound appropriate.

[Static]

Looks very good. I looked through the chords again and didn't find anything off, I know you mentioned to me you were wondering about that stuff. For the empty part in m23, I would suggest something like m25, but with F and C instead of G and D. I would put the two C octaves on beat 3.5 and 4 (to match the timpani). Up to you what you want to include though, so for now I'll approve.

[Dekkadeci]

I think the octave positioning of the right-hand 8th-note-tied-to-half-note chords of Bars 9-12 in your first version were better. I think it sounds more faithful to the original if the last right-hand chord of Bar 9 and the entire right hand of Bars 10-12 were lowered an octave. At this point, you can discard the lowest notes of the right-hand initial-8th-note-octaves-with-grace-notes of Bars 10-12 if you like.

[LeviR.star]

I'm sorry, can you show me a picure of what you're asking for, Dekka? You're still making it unclear for me; I'm not sure what you wanted.

[Dekkadeci]

Here's what I meant by what I tried to say in my last post about the octave voicing of the right-hand notes of Bars 9-12:



In case the picture doesn't work, the link to the picture is https://drive.google.com/open?id=163fRzzNzvDJJHbdhSECwzy8j9T7nPeuk.

I ended up discarding the lowest notes of the right-hand initial-8th-note-octaves-with-grace-notes of Bars 10-12 in the picture version--that version sounded passable on Finale Notepad, at least.

[LeviR.star]

Okay, I made the changes requested. Now there's a few specific places I need to ask about:

- m. 1 - 6, LH: At times, I was unsure if I was hearing the root of a chord, or 2 - 4 part harmony, so places like m. 1 have triads and dyads, while others like m. 5 have almost everything from tetrads to singular notes. If I may ask for it, I'd like to request a more thorough analysis of the LH in this section, and suggestions on places where I should add missing harmonies, or places I can remove ones that aren't really there.

- m. 9 - 12, LH: There's no problem with how it is at the moment, is there? When I first wrote this, I heard the same pattern repeating over all four measures, but with the RH moving up gradually, I'm not so sure anymore that's the case.

- m. 13 - 18, LH: It's simple enough to have octaves, but this idea came when I wrote the part for m. 16, where a different part entirely took higher priority over the pattern before it. Does it work for this case, or am I missing harmonies that need to be included before/after?

- m. 19 - 21: Even assuming those chords are right, something feels missing in the last two measures; like the chords are sustained even while both hands continue moving again. Are you guys hearing this? If so, what do I need; pedal markings? a second layer? Tell me what you think.

The reason I have to ask these questions is because I was never really satisfied with this as a final product, and never sure about a lot of what I was writing while working on it. This sheet was a big step up for me, so I need everyone's detailed input even if this sheet isn't a high priority for the site.

[LeviR.star]

Update: Libera and I went over the sheet extensively over Discord. He will be here shortly to go over what we changed, and in the meantime, the files have been modified.

[Libera]

As Levi says, we talked about this a lot over discord as Levi had asked for detailed input.  You can always look at the sheet to see what's changed, but I'll give a not entirely exhaustive rundown here:

-Pickup changed to a Dn octave tremolo.
-Bass movement moved down an octave in bars 4 and 6.
-Chords have been thinned out in bars 5-6 to keep the texture more consistent in this section.
-Extra bass notes have been added or taken away to match the original more closely (bars 2, 7, 8, 13, 15, 24).
-Lowest notes in the right hand chords in bars 10-12 have been altered to make it easier to play.
-Most of the left hand notes have been beefed up to power chords in bars 13-18 so as to not lighten the texture too much.
-Bar 16 was reworked to keep the bass rhythmic pattern going while still incorporating the lower riff.
-The chord at the end of bar 19 was revoiced to make it less muddy.
-The chord at the start of bar 22 was revoiced so as to make it easier to play.
-One of the xylophone notes was changed in bar 12 (An->Bb).


Although we just talked about this for ages, I did just notice that the ties in the second chord in the left hand of bar 19 are a bit messy.  The second one down could be altered a bit so it's not stuck inside the notehead.  Other than that this should be good to go on my end.

[LeviR.star]

Although we just talked about this for ages, I did just notice that the ties in the second chord in the left hand of bar 19 are a bit messy.  The second one down could be altered a bit so it's not stuck inside the notehead.  Other than that this should be good to go on my end.

You got it. Is that better?

[Libera]

Indeed it is.  I let Static look over this again and he didn't have anything to add, so it shall be accepted.

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Libera.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot