[Wii] Super Mario Galaxy 2 - "Sweet Mystery Galaxy" by Bloop

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Super Mario
Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2
Console: Nintendo Wii
Title: Sweet Mystery Galaxy
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Bloop

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Bloop]

[cashwarrior1]

All those lines in measures 17-20 are really confusing. I know that you're trying to point out phrases, but is there a less confusing way to present it?

[Latios212]

Dang, that first *plunk* of D-B-C# is SUPER distinctive...

- Move the first quarter rest in m. 10 up
- I'd suggest adjusting the slurs and lines a little bit overall - many of their ends are too close to or even touching other markings like articulations, accidentals, note stems
- Measures 9, 10, 13, 14 all sound like the lower RH layer should be B-E.
- For the LH of m. 13 there's a missing C on beat 3, and in m. 14 a missing B on beat 3.
- I think m. 15 could use a bit more on beat 3. There's some stuff going on in the original between the top and bottom layers in addition to I think the melody restriking.
- m. 16 beat 2 LH sounds like C# instead of Cn. RH beat 4 sounds like it should be Cn.
- I think the lowest chord tone in m. 17 RH should be F# - hearing the major seventh color here.
- I think the last dyad in m. 20 should be Bb-Eb?
- The whole note is right on top of the augmentation dot in m. 21 - you could move the dot up a bit.

All those lines in measures 17-20 are really confusing. I know that you're trying to point out phrases, but is there a less confusing way to present it?

I agree somewhat but I'm also kinda fine with the way it is. Let me know if you want some specific comments.

[Bloop]

Fixed! This song really makes you question your hearing after a certain time lol

All those lines in measures 17-20 are really confusing. I know that you're trying to point out phrases, but is there a less confusing way to present it?

I reduced the amount of slurs and lines a bit, I think this should be clearer.

[Latios212]

Yeah this was definitely an interesting one haha

Changes look great! Last thing I have to say is that only Mahito Yokota should be credited as a composer as per the official soundtrack listing.

After that, it has my approval!

[Libera]

The notes look pretty good to me, so I don't think I have anything to say regarding that.  But I've got some other things to say:

-I'll be honest, I don't understand the staccatos here at all.  They're on practically every single note and I'm not sure that they actually mean ... anything.  I don't think they will really affect how the performer plays this piece at all and I think that if there is some intended effect by them, it would be better for it to be conveyed by a direction rather than articulation.
-In the last two systems, I think that we could make things clearer.  A lot of the places where you have voice leading lines they're unnecessary due to the slurring.  The first two slurs there make it entirely clear where the voicing is going and as such the lines become cluttering.  Bar 20 is easily the most confusing, and I think it'd be better with the what's currently in the lower staff to be a lower layer in the top staff and leave the bottom one empty.  That would entirely remove the need for either of the voice leading lines and would make the hand placement less confusing I think.
-The slur in bar 18 is currently inside the tenuto.

It's a surprisingly wacky piece so good job on the voicings/notes.

[Bloop]

-I'll be honest, I don't understand the staccatos here at all.  They're on practically every single note and I'm not sure that they actually mean ... anything.  I don't think they will really affect how the performer plays this piece at all and I think that if there is some intended effect by them, it would be better for it to be conveyed by a direction rather than articulation.

The staccatos are there to convey the pointy sound of those synths in the original. I believe they do make a difference, even with pedal, because it changes the attack of the notes compared to a legato or 'normal' attack. They're also there to there as a direct contrast to the tenuto notes (the flowy synth strings). I could notate something like "all notes played staccato except where noted", but that may create doubt on how to play the slurred notes (which are there for direction in the music, btw, not for legato).
If you want an example of how this is used in original (classical) sheet music, it's here in Debussy's Reverie (1:46):

-In the last two systems, I think that we could make things clearer.  A lot of the places where you have voice leading lines they're unnecessary due to the slurring.  The first two slurs there make it entirely clear where the voicing is going and as such the lines become cluttering.  Bar 20 is easily the most confusing, and I think it'd be better with the what's currently in the lower staff to be a lower layer in the top staff and leave the bottom one empty.  That would entirely remove the need for either of the voice leading lines and would make the hand placement less confusing I think.

If you find that confusing, you should've seen the previous version, lol
I agree on the voice leading lines in m. 17-18, I deleted those. I felt like m. 20 was alright as it is, but I moved the the second part of the L.H. in bar 19 up to the R.H., so that voice changes hands earlier, which should make the voice change from L.H. to R.H. in m. 20-21 clearer. I also added a line in m. 21, to better clarify which direction the line in m. 20 is going. I think the lines, in combination with the articulations, should make the voice leadings pretty clear now.

(i fixed the tenuto defying slur btw)

[Libera]

The staccatos are there to convey the pointy sound of those synths in the original. I believe they do make a difference, even with pedal, because it changes the attack of the notes compared to a legato or 'normal' attack. They're also there to there as a direct contrast to the tenuto notes (the flowy synth strings). I could notate something like "all notes played staccato except where noted", but that may create doubt on how to play the slurred notes (which are there for direction in the music, btw, not for legato).
If you want an example of how this is used in original (classical) sheet music, it's here in Debussy's Reverie (1:46):

After speaking to a few people, I'll concede that they do have some meaning but I'm still not convinced on their implementation (i.e. being on basically every note).  I think that even though I understand what it's trying to convey, oversaturating your sheet with a particular marking does cause it to lose it's meaning.  I don't think it'd be that ambiguous if you exchanged the staccatos for a direction and would convey your intent in a more succinct way.  Also now that I have a bit more of an understanding of what's going on here, I honestly think that no one is going to be able to perform the sheet in the way you are intending.  Sections like bars 15-17 ask for two separate voice lines in one hand hand that need to be distinct from each other in articulation AND they cross over part way through...  I don't know, I just think that this level of preciseness is never going to come through in a performance, but perhaps I'm wrong and also perhaps it's not our responsibility to sort out.

If you find that confusing, you should've seen the previous version, lol
I agree on the voice leading lines in m. 17-18, I deleted those. I felt like m. 20 was alright as it is, but I moved the the second part of the L.H. in bar 19 up to the R.H., so that voice changes hands earlier, which should make the voice change from L.H. to R.H. in m. 20-21 clearer. I also added a line in m. 21, to better clarify which direction the line in m. 20 is going. I think the lines, in combination with the articulations, should make the voice leadings pretty clear now.

I still don't think the line in bar 19 is necessary; the slur makes it clear that the voice passes over to the top staff in that way (exactly as it does in bar 17).  I can see the value of the one in bar 20/21 though.

[Latios212]

I don't think the extra specificity is a bad thing at all in this case. It makes it so that anyone looking to put that much care into performing (and analyzing) this sheet is able to do so.

[Static]

You can attain many more kinds of sounds on a real piano than you can on a keyboard, so I think that's something anyone should always keep in mind when putting articulations in a sheet. I think the staccatos make sense here for that reason.

Anyway, the only other comment I have here is that some of the slurs look like they're a little too close to the staccato markings. Once that's changed I'll approve.

[Bloop]

yay ive got people backing me up

I fixed this:

I still don't think the line in bar 19 is necessary; the slur makes it clear that the voice passes over to the top staff in that way (exactly as it does in bar 17).

and this:

Anyway, the only other comment I have here is that some of the slurs look like they're a little too close to the staccato markings.

[Libera]

The line in bar 19 is still there for me.

[Latios212]

Poke. We're so close with this one!

[Bloop]

oops
fixed