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[PS1] Xenogears - "Stage of Death" by Static

Started by Zeta, May 13, 2019, 06:46:00 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Xeno
Game: Xenogears
Console: PlayStation
Title: Stage of Death
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Static

[attachment deleted by admin]


Latios212

Yess, love seeing more stuff from Mitsuda!

- Would suggest a double barline at m. 3
- I don't think the lower slurs in the LH beat 4 of m. 20 really help anything. I'd recommend flipping them so they follow the contour of the grace notes.
- I think the melody in m. 27+ (the accented C's/B flats that are sustained in the original) gets visually kind of lost even with the accents in the right hand, but I don't have any specific suggestions to alleviate this
- m. 29 missing a slur?
- Courtesy Gn's in LH of 33? (Maybe 29 too)

That's all I've got, sheet looks great.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Static

Quote from: Latios212 on May 18, 2019, 09:09:08 AM- Would suggest a double barline at m. 3
- I don't think the lower slurs in the LH beat 4 of m. 20 really help anything. I'd recommend flipping them so they follow the contour of the grace notes.
Fixed.

Quote from: Latios212 on May 18, 2019, 09:09:08 AM- I think the melody in m. 27+ (the accented C's/B flats that are sustained in the original) gets visually kind of lost even with the accents in the right hand, but I don't have any specific suggestions to alleviate this
I moved the Bbs to the 2nd layer instead. It's still a pretty busy section, but I think it clarifies things a bit.

Quote from: Latios212 on May 18, 2019, 09:09:08 AM- m. 29 missing a slur?
Yep, fixed.

Quote from: Latios212 on May 18, 2019, 09:09:08 AM- Courtesy Gn's in LH of 33? (Maybe 29 too)
I added them at 33, but not at 29 since it's already at the beginning of the system right by the keysig.

Thanks for looking it over!

Latios212

Quote from: Static on May 30, 2019, 09:39:19 AMI moved the Bbs to the 2nd layer instead. It's still a pretty busy section, but I think it clarifies things a bit.
Good solution, think that works well.

Approved!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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[close]
turtle

Libera

Quote from: Latios212 on May 18, 2019, 09:09:08 AMYess, love seeing more stuff from Mitsuda!

Hey, I've got a sheet in subs by him as well.  It's quite different to this though haha.



Onto feedback: it looks pretty good but I've got a few comments:

-The rhythm in the last two bars is incorrect as far as I can tell.  The first four right hand notes in those bars are all on the beat.  Like this:
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and then the left hand will probably need changing as well.
-Missing a lower Eb on beat 3 of bar 26 in the right hand?
-The section bars 27-34 could really do with having the layer two ties tidied up.  This
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is probably the worst offender, but they're all varying degrees of messy.

Everything else looks good to me.

Static

I fixed all the things. I didn't add the Eb though since I don't think it makes sense to add on beat 3 of just m26 (or of any measure like it). I only want there to be multiple notes on the hits (beats 1, 2.5, 4, and 5), to better contrast them from the moving line.

Libera

Quote from: Static on June 08, 2019, 06:01:34 PMI fixed all the things. I didn't add the Eb though since I don't think it makes sense to add on beat 3 of just m26 (or of any measure like it). I only want there to be multiple notes on the hits (beats 1, 2.5, 4, and 5), to better contrast them from the moving line.

That seems fair to me, I think I was misunderstanding the effect that you were going for.

I'm not sure about the offbeat bass in the final bar still, but the other edits look good to me.  I think it'd make more sense to just have the bass come in on beats 1, 3 and 4 rather than 0.5, 3 and 4 but maybe there's something I'm missing.

Static

Quote from: Libera on June 09, 2019, 05:00:23 AMI'm not sure about the offbeat bass in the final bar still, but the other edits look good to me.  I think it'd make more sense to just have the bass come in on beats 1, 3 and 4 rather than 0.5, 3 and 4 but maybe there's something I'm missing.

Yeah, that was just a mistake on my part, I forgot to change it. It's fixed now.

Libera


Zeta

This submission has been accepted by Libera.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot