[DELETED] [Wii] Rhythm Heaven Fever - "Ringside" by WaluigiTime64

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Rhythm Heaven
Game: Rhythm Heaven Fever
Console: Nintendo Wii
Title: Ringside
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: WaluigiTime64

[WaluigiTime64]

I know I've recently been really out of it when it comes to sheet music, and because of that expect slow responses, but I saw that tiny little Rhythm Heaven section and felt like making it a little less... tiny. So here's something I had lying around.

[Bloop]

Hey, really nice work! Just a few little things I noticed:

-In m. 2 (and 31), the d in the melody is quite far from the g in the accompaniment above it; I'd either remove the quarter note in the accompaniment, or move the g an octave down.
-In the original, the melody from m. 5 to m. 12 is an octave higher (like you have it after m. 12). Did you have a reason for moving it an octave down?
-I believe there's a second voice that's playing c#'s alongside the melody in m. 10
-Maybe a bit picky, but I'd move the subtitle and arranger text a bit higher, because it feels a little bit too far down for me. You decide if that's relevant or not lol

[WaluigiTime64]

Hey, really nice work! Just a few little things I noticed:

belated thank

-In m. 2 (and 31), the d in the melody is quite far from the g in the accompaniment above it; I'd either remove the quarter note in the accompaniment, or move the g an octave down.

It's intended to be pedaled, though maybe it's not clear enough on the sheet? If other people yell at me to make it more obvious I'll probably do it.

-In the original, the melody from m. 5 to m. 12 is an octave higher (like you have it after m. 12). Did you have a reason for moving it an octave down?

I kinda liked it being there, particularly because the timbre of the lead sounds deeper than it actually is, and it suited the piece nicely. It also helps with the next point.

-I believe there's a second voice that's playing c#'s alongside the melody in m. 10

Correct. I've been gotten.
I've added the second voice above the current one, because that's where it is originally (I think?), and it prevents a unison harmony on the last note. 

-Maybe a bit picky, but I'd move the subtitle and arranger text a bit higher, because it feels a little bit too far down for me. You decide if that's relevant or not lol

Did this anyway, because I agree. :V


Files should be updated, hopefully.

[Static]

Some things that I have:

• The LH margins are kinda small (I tend to make them small as well), which means it can sometimes be a pain for people who want to put their sheets in binders. But I also realize that not everyone uses those, and sometimes that extra space can be useful. It's up to you whether you want to increase those margins a bit, but I figured I'd mention it since it is an important choice I think.
• m22 beats 3-4 LH: I hear these 4 8th notes as E-C#-D#-C#.
• There are a bunch of extra 16th notes in certain places in the bassline (like m27 for example), but I'm fine with leaving those in because those bring in some of the percussion parts that you wouldn't otherwise have in just a piano sheet.
• m26: I would probably put the crescendo in between the 2 staves so it's clear that you want both hands to get louder.
• The offbeat 16th notes in m31, 33, and 35 should be beamed together as a beat wherever possible.

Neat sheet you got here

[Libera]

Bump for arranger.

[WaluigiTime64]

Posting to remove silence and the possibility of me being dead.
Apologies, I won't be able to work on this until the 8th of December. Very busy with an unrelated music project.

...that being said, I feel like I do have a copy of this with the feedback implemented, but just never got around to properly responding to each thing and uploading it. Still, I'm a bit busy for now.

[WaluigiTime64]

Right on time. (my apologies...)

It seems I had a copy lying around which had dealt with (most of) the feedback but I never submitted it, presumably because I hadn't dealt with all of the feedback.

• The LH margins are kinda small (I tend to make them small as well), which means it can sometimes be a pain for people who want to put their sheets in binders. But I also realize that not everyone uses those, and sometimes that extra space can be useful. It's up to you whether you want to increase those margins a bit, but I figured I'd mention it since it is an important choice I think.

I can't tell from the sheet if this was edited or not but it says "0.5" in the margin thing, so if that's too small I'll probably change it.

• m22 beats 3-4 LH: I hear these 4 8th notes as E-C#-D#-C#.

Turns out it's that but between the first C# and D# there's an E an octave above, though I lowered it for playability.

• There are a bunch of extra 16th notes in certain places in the bassline (like m27 for example), but I'm fine with leaving those in because those bring in some of the percussion parts that you wouldn't otherwise have in just a piano sheet.

I assume it was left as-is.

• m26: I would probably put the crescendo in between the 2 staves so it's clear that you want both hands to get louder.
  
• The offbeat 16th notes in m31, 33, and 35 should be beamed together as a beat wherever possible.

These were fixed.

Hopefully I respond quicker for anything else that comes up.

[Maelstrom]

I'm pretty sure the LH for m22 is as follows:


That's basically all I can find, so if someone else wants to take a swing at it, go ahead.

[mastersuperfan]

- Uh, I don't know if this really matters, but the tempo marking font seems to be different from Finale's default.
- I know you wanted to maximize system space, but I would strongly suggest increasing the left margin to 0.6 at least.
- Regardless of the left margin size, the last system is mega cramped. I would suggest splitting it into two systems (two measures each) and format the last system to end halfway across the page (although I don't know how to do that myself).
- There's no rest in the LH in m1; it should just be a double dotted half note (or half tied to dotted quarter).
- It's hard to transcribe since it's really a slide instead of discrete notes, but I think m2 LH beat 4 would be better written as D#-E-F#-Fx (or maybe Fn for the third note instead of F#?). The bassline slides up to the note but doesn't pass it.
- Like how you wrote it in m39, m4 LH beat 4 just sounds like a quarter-note G# to me (not hearing the sixteenth note B#). (For what it's worth, there's also not actually a C# on beat 3.75, but I think it works really well for a piano arrangement when the synth-y effects can't be replicated.)
- In the first half, it sounds like the bassline is actually alternating between the following two patterns every measure (note the removed tie in m5 LH and the merging of two 16ths into one 8th in m6):

- I would strongly suggest adding the xylophone-like instrument dyads to beats 3.5 and 4 in the RH of m13 and m15.
- m22 LH beat 3.5 sounds like a single staccato'd eighth-note C# (not hearing the sixteenth-note E). Never mind, you mentioned that earlier, and I hear it now.
- m23 LH sounds like this (beats 1, 2, and 4 are all edited):

- Mael is right for m24; I would also remove the staccatos on the triplet notes.
- It's hard to tell what's going on with the bassline in m27, but I think it would be really nice to mimic the percussion like so:

- In m28 LH, if you want to follow the pattern of the bassline, beat 2 should be one octave higher than beats 1/3. If you make this change, you might want to do away with the 8vb in this measure so you don't have high ledger lines and 8vb at the same time.
- Subito in m29 is practically touching the barline; I would move it a bit to the right.
- I would consider adding a staccato'd eighth-note C# to m30 LH beat 4.5. I actually thought it was a real bass note until I slowed it down a ton and realized it was just percussion. You don't have to put a note there since it's not really in the original bass, but I think it works well to mimic the percussiveness and fill the empty space in the measure.
- m36 LH beats 2.5 and 2.75 should be D# and B instead of F# and A.
- m37 LH beat 4.25 should be a D# instead of a Dn.
- For the last measure, you might consider something along the lines of the following to more closely replicate the effect in the original (though the way you have it now is fine if you want to keep it like that):

(Not really sure this is correct fermata notation though)

Potential courtesy accidentals: G# in m32, G# in m36, D# in m38 (maybe? there was a D# at the end of m37 in the LH). Also, once you add the Dx grace note in m23, you could also add a courtesy sharp to D# in m24, but I don't think it's really necessary since it was just a grace note in m23.

You might also consider adding two-note slurs where you have unstaccato'd notes followed by staccato'd notes (e.g. LH first page, m20 beat 1.5-2 in RH, etc.) to make phrasing easier to read.

[Libera]

Bump for arranger.

[Bespinben]

+2 Bump

I would recommend re-working the layout to avoid a partially-filled last page. Try the following casting-off:

• Page 1, 4 systems, measures distributed 2-3-3-3
• Page 2, 5 systems, 3 measures per system
• Page 3, 5 systems, measures distributed 3-3-3-2-3

[WaluigiTime64]

Oh right. I make sheet music.

It's here where I would usually quote every point and detail my exact response to it, but there are a lot of points that have been made, and I also just re-transcribed majority of the piece anyway. I'll put it in like, patch note format.

Changes:
 - Complete overhaul
    - Completely re-transcribed the bass for the L.H.
    - Altered some brass rhythms.
    - Added other brass rhythms, in m.35 and m.37.
    - Changed chord in mm.27-28 to G# (from G#m). While I thought this chord was ambiguous, the brass plays a B#.
    - Added/altered harmonies in the right-hand part.
 - Implemented Bespinben's score layout suggestion.
 - Partially implemented Maelstrom's m.24 suggestion (lower part matches the bass, upper part matches the brass).
 - Partially implemented MSF's left-hand rhythm transcription (mm.5-20, but for various other sections I just checked it myself).
    - Note that though some other L.H. parts are different than either what was suggested or what was originally there, because both may have been wrong.
 - Implemented suggestions for courtesy accidentals.
 - Probably some other things I'm forgetting.

A few that should probably be explained:
 - L.H. M.2 Beat 4: It's an upward slide, but there's definitely a downward movement from the end of the slide to the G# afterwards. I'm fairly confident it's a slide from D# to A, then descending to G#.
 - L.H. M.4 Beat 3: There's definitely a D natural there, but it bends upwards to a D# before hitting the G#. There's definitely an upward movement.
 - L.H. M.22: This measure has been a pain, but I can pretty confidently hear every note there now.
 - L.H. M.23 Beat 4: The last three notes are just one note bent in that manner (a rather bluesy b3-3-b3 phrase).
 - L.H. M.27: Based off MSF's idea for the measure, but with extra notes based on what the kick is doing.
 - L.H. M.37 Beat 4: I'm 90% sure that should be an Eb, given the D chord. That scale run downward has a D Double Harmonic-kind of feeling to it.
 - L.H. M.39 Beat 3: Same as M.4.

Lastly, a sincere apology. This score has been lingering here for about 15 months total, and I don't think I should be trying to break my previous record so quickly after setting it.

[mastersuperfan]

Wow, this is really good. A few last comments I have (all of these are relatively quick):

- Could you unbold the 118 in the tempo marking?
- You might consider adding an E and/or a G# to m10 RH beat 4 if you wanted to put more emphasis there, since the horns play briefly on that beat.
- m18 RH beats 2 and 3 also have C#'s, if you wanted to add that.
- m18 RH beat 4: Even though there is a voice that plays F#, the G# is much more prominent and fits better IMO. You could also add an E and/or a low C# for emphasis to match the horns, like I suggested for m10.
- m18 LH shouldn't have anything on beat 4.
- m22 LH: The staccato on beat 1.5 seems kind of unnecessary. (That said, I'm not even sure whether that F# is actually there or if it's just the percussion.)
- Big nitpick but maybe you could move the crescendo down a little bit in m27, because when I first read it I thought the tenuto was an accent on the letter "c" in crescendo, lol.
- There are notes leading up to beat 1 of m27 RH that you could add as grace notes.
- In m28, you might consider adding low G#'s in the LH on beats 1.5 and 2.5 to mimic the percussion.
- I would remove the courtesy accidental on m28 RH beat 3 because it just looks... really weird, considering that there was already a B# on beat 1. Even with the Bn in Layer 1, I don't think it's necessary.
- m27-28 RH: You could add two- or three-note slurs in the RH, ending on the staccato'd notes, to make the phrasing easier to see.
- m37 beats 2-3 should be flipped upward.
- m37 LH beat 4.5 should be a C# instead of a Dn.
- m40: Usually I see fermatas above the notes, rather than below.
- Since you aren't beaming eighth notes over rests, you might consider choosing not to beam eighth notes in groups of three, either (see: m9, m17, m20). I think it's typically not desired because then the eighth notes could potentially be confused for triplets.
- The first system looks really stretched out and empty due to only having two measures. Maybe consider giving the first system one extra measure, and then having the final system only have two measures. Then, you could shorten the length of the final system so it's doesn't take up the whole page width and isn't stretched.

- L.H. M.2 Beat 4: It's an upward slide, but there's definitely a downward movement from the end of the slide to the G# afterwards. I'm fairly confident it's a slide from D# to A, then descending to G#.

I still hear this as only an upward slide, but if you hear otherwise, I'll let it be.

[Static]

I'm archiving this one due to inactivity - please resubmit when you're able to make all the changes