[PC] CrossCode - "Improvising" by Greg

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: CrossCode
Console: PC
Title: Improvising
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Greg

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[Greg]

[Libera]

So generally speaking this one is a bit trickier than 'Boss Battle'.  There are quite of lot of issues and so I'm going to give more general comments, rather than specifically going through everything I find.

-Like with 'Boss Battle', you need to have a think about how you want the music to sit on the page and then lock it with that distribution.  Finale's default (which is what this is) is usually not very good.  Think about these things:

• Try to give everything an even look.  There should be roughly the same density of ink everywhere.
• If two sections of music are similar, they should look similar on the sheet.
• Make sure you stay within the margins at the top and bottom of the pages, and try to spread the music out vertically between them if you have enough systems to do so.  If you don't have enough systems to fill up a page, try and keep them roughly as spaced out as they are on previous pages.
• If it is possible, try to get sections changes to coincide with system changes or, even better, page changes.  This is less important than the others, but if you can find a way of doing all of them that's really good.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

-There are lots of places in the sheet, particularly the left hand, where you jump between different parts or mix them together in a way that I'm not sure works that well.  It leads to having wild changes in register and thickness that just aren't very pianistic.  I'm guessing that you're just trying to fit as much of a transcription as you can into a piano part, but when you're merging different parts together, sometimes some more finesse is needed than that.  Also even if it is possible to include more stuff, that doesn't always necessarily mean it's a good idea.
-Overuse of articulations is definitely an issue here.  Either use less of them or work out where you can hide them and just use a simile instead.  Also at the moment the left hand has loads of articulations whereas the right hand has barely any, which feels a bit unbalanced to me.
-A more specific comment, but places like the left hand in bar 1, I highly suggest moving the first note down an octave to match the bass of the original.
-The chords in bars 27-32 seem a lot heavier than the original to me.
-When you have multiple layers, a lot of the time you need to manually move the articulations to the normal side.  Unless both layers are being really busy, they can just go in their normal positions.


So, as I've said, I think this sheet needs another look over from you.  Try and use my comments as a bit of a guide while you're doing it, but if you need any extra help/clarification please do say something.  I don't want you to feel like I'm throwing you the wolves or anything, I just think that if there are things that you can fix up on your own (and I think that there are) it's best for you if you do it yourself.

[Greg]

Alright, I tried a bunch of stuff. I think that at least takes care of the more egregious issues with the sheet!

[Libera]

Cool, great stuff.  Going through it now.  Thanks for taking the time to have another look through it. :)

-Have you considered dropping the staff size?  I usually like 0.65cm as I feel like finale's default is too big, and particularly on this sheet where there are a lot of big chords I think it'll make things look a lot neater.  (Remember when you change the staff size that you'll need to do the layout again as keeping the same one will probably look really weird now that everything is smaller.)
-The copyright is currently at -0.333 something vertical alignment, so bring it back up to 0.
-Let's talk about the main left hand part.  In most places it's really nice and idiomatic, intuitive to play and captures the original well, but bars like 16 and 24 are not so much like that.  For the most part, what I would try to do for this section is stick to the pattern that you establish at the start:  bass note (if present) or dyad alternating with single note.  Like here:

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The bars I mentioned break from this pattern and as such stick out weirdly and on top of that they're tricky to play well.  What I would suggest is cutting out the high note on beat 2 (It seems weird to include it anyway, and it's not useful harmonically as the right hand has a C on those beats anyway) and fixing the rest of it to make it follow the pattern better.  Something like this:

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(I also changed the G# -> Bn at the end as that's what I can hear.)
In that same spirit, there are some other places in the left hand that I would suggest changes to, like putting an accent on the E in bar 16 (as you can see in the picture), putting the A down the octave in bar 17 to match elsewhere, and removing the As in the chords in bar 17.  Also bar 26 could probably lose the Gb semibreve or you could make it into a bass note like this:

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(in fact I quite like that option after trying it out.)
-The D on beat 3 in the left hand of bar 32 should be an octave lower. 
-Bar 32 could do with a line to show the voice moving from the lower staff to the upper staff.
-I understand where you're coming from with the left hand part in bars 35-42, but I'm not really sure it works at all.  Combining the piano chords and the harpsichord accompaniment together just kinda just makes neither of them work, if you see what I mean.  My suggestion here would be to use the same style left hand as you did in the first section, and move the extra harmony notes to the right hand to sit underneath the melody where possible.  I haven't actually tried it out yet, but I'm imagining it will keep the feel much better.
-I don't think you need to change the voicings on the chords in the last two bars.  A little hand crossing is fine (and not particularly tricky here).  Especially I wouldn't change the voicing for the final chord, as I can't really see any reason as to why you'd do it.
-The two tied A quavers in bar 58 can just be a crotchet.  You only have to show the third beat in 4/4 (unless you've got semiquavers going around and then you should show every beat).  Also the last three notes shouldn't really be the same voice as the octave E because they're completely different parts rather than a continuation.  At the least I'd break the beam between the E octave and the D.
-Consider the same sort of changes in bars 48-49 where you're mixing the piano octaves with other parts.
-That chord in bar 50 is huge and I assume the idea is to take the C# with your right hand, but it might be worth notating that in.  Also, the A# should be a Bb (A7 flat 9; he really likes those chords doesn't he?).

I think that's it for the time being as it's not worth making too many comments about formatting since it'll probably look quite a bit different after those edits.

[Greg]

I did most of the stuff with a few exceptions:

• The copyright looks aligned properly to me, since the position is apparently based (inexplicably enough) on the bottom of the copyright and not the top. Changing it to 0 makes it collide with the music. Baffling, I know.
• I definitely hear G# on the last note of m.16. (I did change the note before it to D-G# from E-G#, though.)
• I hear a voice change in the penultimate bar pretty clearly, but I agree that the last one isn't warranted so I changed that one.

Also completely reworked 35-42. Hopefully it's more reasonable now: it definitely does a better job of capturing the harpsichord at least.
Thanks for the feedback!

[Libera]

Great stuff, this looks a lot better now.  Final things hopefully now:

-Not sure about the D in the RH chord in bar 23; it's in the bass for sure but that chord feels off to me at the moment and when I take the D out it sounds correct.
-About the RH in chords in bars 23-26, I'd put the lower notes in a separate layer as they sustain through the bars in the original (and since you want the LH detached you can't be implying pedal to sustain them at this point.)
-Bars 25-42 look way better now.  Only thing is if you're going to write 32-38 using two layers you should probably do the same for the rest of it to keep it consistent.
-I'd take one system from page 2 and move it onto page 3.  You're eating into both the top and bottom margins on page 2 at the moment, and you've got plenty of space on page 3 to use up (and it should give the whole thing a more balanced look.
-I'll need a second opinion on the copyright as it still looks off to me, but it might be just me so I'll check.
-The F# on top of the G in the left hand of bar 56 is from a completely different part I think and so it sounds and looks a bit odd there.  I'd cut it personally, but if you want to keep it that part is doing more stuff in those bars and having it come in for one note isn't great really so you'd need to work it in more naturally.
-Accent on the Gb in bar 26 to match the pattern everywhere else?

I think we should be close to getting there now!

[Greg]

I did all the stuff! The copyright formatting is coming from the NSM template and seems to match other stuff on site so I didn't move it, but I'm fine with moving it as well, it does seem a little low.

[Libera]

Sweet!

I'll check on the copyright, but it's probably fine.  Good work!

[Latios212]

Yeah, that is low. Note how the text is entirely outside the preset page margins. You can easily bump a system down to the next page from pages 1 and 2 to give it more room. (Also backslash at the end of the URL while I'm looking at it)

I'll go update the NSM template sometime soon!

[Greg]

Sure thing. I increased the bottom margin on the first page.

[Latios212]

I'll come and double check the sheet at a later time unless someone else gets to it before me, but I went and updated the NSM template file given in the formatting guidelines. Thanks for the heads up!

[Latios212]

Alrighty, final polish time!

- Move the systems a bit closer together to leave more room for the footer (page 1) and header (pages 2/3)
- Suggest writing measure 2 like this:
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  (1) separating the high phrase from the chord both visually and giving the performer a split second to make the jump
  (2) dotted eighth note
- For measure 35/37 I would suggest having an A on the bottom of the lower layer in both places (adding it on beat 1 and replacing the F with it on beat 3). It's pretty prominent but missing right now (and the F sounds really dissonant against the E)
- Measures 36/38: I don't think it's worth hiding the half rest there. Probably best to show that the beat 1 dyad is a part of the lower layer.
- Consider including a D in the first chord of m. 39, otherwise you lose the minor seventh sound you have on beat 3.
- I don't think there's a C in the last chord in m. 48 and 57.
- I'm hearing a rest in m. 49 beat 3 LH instead of the C#
- I'd advise getting rid of the notes in between the bottom/top octave in m. 57. They make it sound super muddy in a way I don't think the original does.
- Could we write the last couple measures using just one layer?

[Greg]

• Done.
• Sounds good. Shouldn't have missed that dotted eighth, really...
• Done.
• Done.
• Done.
• Ouch, nice catch. Would never have heard that if you hadn't prompted me to take a closer look.
• After listening to those again I replaced them with Bs instead.
• Yeah, you're right.
• Why did I do this... ew

Thanks for the feedback!

[LeviR.star]

Oop, files are wrong again, Greg.