[3DS] Pokémon X & Pokémon Y - "Santalune City" by gunthi

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon X & Pokémon Y
Console: Nintendo 3DS
Title: Santalune City
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: gunthi

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Libera]

There's something very funny going on with your .mus file, and then font on your pdf doesn't match the .mus either.  For submissions to NSM, the pdf file must be made from the .mus file. 

By very funny, I mean this:

Spoiler

You cannot view this attachment.

[close]

I'd suggest reading the formatting guidelines and if you need any help, feel free to ask.  At the moment I don't think this submission is in a state that I can review effectively at the moment so I'll hold off on that for now.

[gunthi]

Relatively to the "funny", in my computer it opens ok, I don't understand what happens.

[gunthi]

Updated!

[Latios212]

Hey, this is a great start! Solid arrangement.

Just looking right now, one of the things you can improve on is articulation. How are the melody notes played? Take a look and see, for instance, where staccatos would be in order - like the eighth notes in the melody of m. 2. (You also need dynamics - just an opening one would be fine here.)

Aside from that, there are some inaccuracies here and there I'm seeing (just listing some) -
- The harmonies aren't all A for the first bunch of dyads. The melody also does a triplet on beat 3.5 in the first measure.
- Is the C-D-E triad intentional in m. 2 and other places? It doesn't look like the D really belongs or adds anything.
- Measure 12, the A-C dyad on m. 12 beat 2.5 should be G-C.
- Measure 14, the first triplet should be G#-A-B.
Take another pass through it and check that you have everything right.

Additionally, it looks like there are a few odd things related to spacing probably due to Finale Notepad. Once you've gone over it for the above stuff, I'd be happy to help you improve the layout a little bit. Any questions, feel free to ask!

[gunthi]

Hi,

Thanks for your feedback
I fixed the first 5 points. But the spacing remains the same problem, because Finale Notepad doesn't allow me to change it.

[JDMEK5]

Here's one way to resolve your spacing problem (though I know I pushed my luck a little bit with the size of everything)

I made some slight tweaks to your copyright to make it consistent with the other X/Y sheets on the site (and accurate for that matter).
Might I suggest looking into the possibility of adding some midrange chords on the off-beats to provide some motion (see the infamous "Athletic" theme from Super Mario World for an example of what I'm talking about). I think it would be difficult to play at this speed, yet possible, and really make the piece come alive. As it stands now, it is accurate (so far as this particular bass consideration is concerned), but is a bit lackluster in my opinion. Kageyama set you up for success and personally I would love to see you capitalize on it.

[gunthi]

It's updated. I think now is much more alive

[Latios212]

It's updated. I think now is much more alive

It sure is ^^

However, this new accompaniment pattern brings with it new concerns aside from just the difficulty. Consider how these offbeat chords sound on the piano - they get very low in places like m. 9-10 and sound muddy as a result. Also think in those places: do you need the bass to be as low as it is there? Or can we raise some parts a bit to parallel the original's light, bouncy, playful feeling instead of making the arrangement sound like it's lumbering along heavily?

[Libera]

Bump for arranger.

[gunthi]

Hi people. After a long time I am back!
I have transposed some notes by one 8va up. I hope you enjoy it

[AmpharosAndy]

Cool arrangement! Very accurate in terms of notes from what I can see. I think some of those left hand off beat chords could be friendlier to jump to, I would struggle a bit with how it is now. Maybe just removing a note or two and/or inverting the chords could do the trick?

[Latios212]

To help move this one along a bit:

- m. 3/7/21 beat 1 could just be a staccato eighth instead of a staccato dotted eighth.
- Could use layers in m. 8 similar to m. 4
- I think beat 3 in m. 15 should be F#-A#
- m. 14 beat 1 could use a bit of harmony
- Some of the single notes in m. 16-17 could use some harmony as well to keep dyads going consistently
- Measure 17 is missing a C on beat 3
- Beat 4 of m. 18 should be C sharp (not natural)
- I think some of the descending harmonies in the last measure aren't quite right. We could also use a slur here instead of tying over the notes in the chords
- D# in m. 4, 8, 22 should be Eb (C minor/major 7 chord)
- The forte in measure 20 would be better on the pickup to the melody (in measure 19).

Here's a file with the above edits that you can use. It doesn't change the bass/chords in the left hand but everything else should be good.

Please have a look, and consider what Andy and I had said about the left hand part! In particular the latter half of measure 9 sounds particularly muddy. But once the left hand part is resolved, this should be good to go let me know if you need any help

[gunthi]

Hi
I hope you are fine. Many thanks for your suggestions. I am sorry for the very late reply, but I had many problems that I needed to solve in my life. I have some difficulties in some topics you mentioned. Maybe I should purchase the complete version of Finale (I only have Finale Notepad). I still did not because I did not have any job and could not spend much money. I have spent all this time trying to find a job. I think that from now on I can solve this, but if I need something I will tell you.

Thank you one more time

[gunthi]

Which one do you recommend me to purchase?

https://store.makemusic.com/Store/