[PC] Deltarune - "Empty Town" by LeviR.star

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Deltarune
Console: PC
Title: Empty Town
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: LeviR.star

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[LeviR.star]

Wasn't ready for the recent update, so I guess I'm submitting this.

My areas of concern:

- "reachability" (i.e. m. 26, 27, 36)
- notating the last system for treble clef
- general accidentals ('cause you know me; I never get those right)

[Libera]

- general accidentals ('cause you know me; I never get those right)

Hmm, I wish I could offer more helpful advice regarding accidentals rather than fixing them on a case by case basis.  Teach a man to fish ... as they say.  Also when you said this I was expecting the sheet to be a mess of accidentals so I was pleasantly surprised when I opened it!  

They look good apart from bars 45-46.  This is a V/V chord (a secondary dominant chord), i.e. chord V in the key of chord V in our key (If that makes sense...) so it should be a B major chord since our V is E major (since we're in A minor).  Theory aside, the practical change is Ebs -> D#s and the Gbs -> F#s in those two bars.

To give you something to help in future ... I don't know if this is a thing in America, but do you know Father Charles Goes Down And Ends Battle? (Battle Ends And Goes Down Charles' Father?).  It's a mnemonic for remembering the ordering of accidentals or the circle of fifths.  Sharps go F#, C#, G# etc and flats go Bb, Eb, Ab etc.  If you ever find yourself using a later accidental in the series when you're not using one before it, then something funny is probably going on.  E.g. in this case in bar 45 you're using Ebs and Gbs but not using Bbs.

[LeviR.star]

Hmm, I wish I could offer more helpful advice regarding accidentals rather than fixing them on a case by case basis.  Teach a man to fish ... as they say.  Also when you said this I was expecting the sheet to be a mess of accidentals so I was pleasantly surprised when I opened it!  

They look good apart from bars 45-46.  This is a V/V chord (a secondary dominant chord), i.e. chord V in the key of chord V in our key (If that makes sense...) so it should be a B major chord since our V is E major (since we're in A minor).  Theory aside, the practical change is Ebs -> D#s and the Gbs -> F#s in those two bars.

To give you something to help in future ... I don't know if this is a thing in America, but do you know Father Charles Goes Down And Ends Battle? (Battle Ends And Goes Down Charles' Father?).  It's a mnemonic for remembering the ordering of accidentals or the circle of fifths.  Sharps go F#, C#, G# etc and flats go Bb, Eb, Ab etc.  If you ever find yourself using a later accidental in the series when you're not using one before it, then something funny is probably going on.  E.g. in this case in bar 45 you're using Ebs and Gbs but not using Bbs.

I knew something was funny there. Thank you; fixed.

[Libera]

Can't check notes at the moment, but I've got another comment.  You could totally take this to 8 bars per system and get it all on one sheet.  At the moment the bars are very stretched, but I was surprised myself at how much more I could fit in each system without it looking crowded.  Readability isn't an issue since you've got a nice 6.5mm staff size and there's nothing particularly fiddly going on (apart from bar 40, but even that looks very readable).

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[LeviR.star]

Back from the All-State Festival. Let's see here...

Can't check notes at the moment, but I've got another comment.  You could totally take this to 8 bars per system and get it all on one sheet.  At the moment the bars are very stretched, but I was surprised myself at how much more I could fit in each system without it looking crowded.  Readability isn't an issue since you've got a nice 6.5mm staff size and there's nothing particularly fiddly going on (apart from bar 40, but even that looks very readable).

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I don't often like to have my bars squished too much, but may we compromise and go 6 measures per system? To make up for it, I'll flesh out the spacing so page 2 gets 3 systems.

If your answer is yes, the files are already fixed.

[Libera]

Ok, checking properly now:

I don't often like to have my bars squished too much, but may we compromise and go 6 measures per system? To make up for it, I'll flesh out the spacing so page 2 gets 3 systems.
If your answer is yes, the files are already fixed.

That's cool, but I'd move one system from the second page to the first just so the systems on the first page don't look so spread out.  Having two systems on the last page is fine.

My areas of concern:
- "reachability" (i.e. m. 26, 27, 36)
- notating the last system for treble clef

-I personally don't have problem with the reaches since they're all 10ths and I can make them, but if you're worried then you can always bring the lower note in each case up an octave.
-Regarding treble for the last section, I don't have a problem with it.  But I am worried about the playability of that section in general due to how on top of each other the hands are (particularly bars 45-46 are very awkward to play.)

Onto my own feedback:
-I'd suggest putting in some lines to show where the inner part goes in bar 26.
-The D.C. is a little unclear at the moment since it's with a standard repeat bar.  I had a similar thing on one of my own sheets and Latios suggested 'D.S. 2nd X' which would obviously be 'D.C. 2nd X' in this case.  'D.C. 2nd time' would also work but is a few more letters.

I think that's all I've got; it's looking pretty nice.

[Latios212]

That's cool, but I'd move one system from the second page to the first just so the systems on the first page don't look so spread out.  Having two systems on the last page is fine.

It's also fine as is...

-I'd suggest putting in some lines to show where the inner part goes in bar 26.

That could work but I think it'd be best to leave it on the upper staff with brackets as the staccatos and ledger lines don't seem to go together particularly nicely here.

[Libera]

It's also fine as is...

Personal preference I guess; all I can do is give my thoughts.  If Levi is against it then it's not like I'm going to push it.

That could work but I think it'd be best to leave it on the upper staff with brackets as the staccatos and ledger lines don't seem to go together particularly nicely here.

I noticed this when going through the sheet as well and then somehow forgot about it when I wrote the post up.  I agree with you here.

[mastersuperfan]

Not sure about all the LH slurs in this sheet. Sometimes it does sound slurred (e.g. m5-8) but sometimes it doesn't (e.g. m1–4, or m41–m48 EDIT: in fact I'd probably put staccatos on beat 1 in m45–48, but not m41–44). I think it'd be best to go through and adjust the phrases according to the original track itself.

[Libera]

Not sure about all the LH slurs in this sheet. Sometimes it does sound slurred (e.g. m5-8) but sometimes it doesn't (e.g. m1–4, or m41–m48 EDIT: in fact I'd probably put staccatos on beat 1 in m45–48, but not m41–44). I think it'd be best to go through and adjust the phrases according to the original track itself.

The Legend ends with a section that's pretty much identical to this, and I noticed the same thing.  Another thing I noticed when doing The Legend is the bar 40 LH rhythm is slightly different, although I admit yours is easier to perform.  I'll just include a picture of the end of The Legend for reference.

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Edit: Another thing I just noticed that's actually wrong with both of our arrangements is that the final slur should go the last minim rather than the first.  I'll fix mine as well.

[LeviR.star]

Looking back at this as soon as I update my PA with sheets from September 10th all the way up to now.

[Khunjund]

If you're concerned about the tenths, you can simply put a symbol to have them arpeggiated, as is the standard with basically any interval exceeding a ninth. Personally, this is how I would play them regardless of whether or not it was written on the sheet, since, while I can reach a tenth, it never feels as stable or controlled as a ninth or smaller interval, especially in measures 26 and 36, since you're coming off of a faster rythm.

As for accidentals, it's hard to say because I don't know how much you know about music theory, but there are basically two types of alterations.

The first case are alterations that are purely melodic. These tend to be passing tones between two diatonic notes in a scale, chromatic neighbour notes or appoggiaturas. There are two ways of notating these. The first way (the "modern" way, let's say) is to follow the direction from the altered note to the following one and use the appropriate symbol: sharps (and naturals in a flat key) go up, flats (and naturals in a sharp key) go down. The second way (the "traditional" way) is tied to your key signature: if possible, you'll use the alteration which is closest to the key you're in (considering the order of flats and sharps Libera mentioned above, and that flats and sharps cancel each other out—e.g. D# is two alterations away if your key has two sharps, but five alterations away if your key has one flat). This can lead to descending musical phrases using sharps, or ascending ones using flats.

The second case are alterations that are tied to harmony. This either occurs with the use of altered chords (secondary dominants, mode mixture, etc.) or modulations that aren't long enough to warrant a change in key signature. Frequently, these accidentals will coincide with the ones which are appropriate with regards to voice leading, but this won't always be the case. In these situations, you have to identify the chord being used or the new key in which the music has developped to be able to use the correct accidentals, which requires more knowledge of music theory.

Here's a short exercise for four-part mixed chorus I wrote to try and help clarify things. I've included the harmonic analysis, so you can see when the use of a specific alteration corresponds to a change in the harmony (most likely a harmonic alteration) or not (most likely a melodic alteration), but my analysis might differ a bit from what you're used to because I was taught according to the French school of music theory. There are no modulations, but there are two instances of polarization, which are similar in that they temporarily imply a different key signature than what's written at the beginning of the system.

A few specific alterations I'd like to point out:

• The bass in measure 3 uses "modern" style notation to show that the Db is an alteration of the D and is still a chord tone, whereas C# would be interpreted as a chromatic passing tone.
• In contrast, the soprano in measure 5 uses "traditional" notation to emphasize the different intervals the voice forms with the alto (octave, major seventh, minor seventh); this is a melodic alteration, but it gives the impression of changing harmony: Gmin, Gmin(maj7), G7.
• The alto's Eb in measure 13 is a chromatic appoggiatura.
• The alto line in measure 15 has D# because the initial chord is B7, which is then altered chromatically to Bmin7.

I'm sorry if this is a bit complicated. I know I'm not a very good teacher, but if you have any questions, I'd be happy to try and answer them.

[LeviR.star]

I talked on Discord with Libera and Latios, and fixed a few things. Notes will be checked again eventually.

[Latios212]

Sheet looks clean, checked all the pitches and everything is accurate. Only comment I have would be to recommend that the G# in the last measure RH be in a separate layer, seeing as it's a continuation of the voice in the lower layer of the measure before it. (Oh, and you could afford to move the systems down just a bit oh page 2 - note that the space between the header and the first system is visibly less than the space between systems, and you have ample room to use up.)