[GCN] Kirby Air Ride - "City Trial" (Replacement) by Greg

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Kirby
Game: Kirby Air Ride
Console: Nintendo GameCube
Title: City Trial
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Greg


Replacement Information:
Links to Existing Sheet: MUS | MIDI | PDF
Replacement Type: Challenge (new arranger)

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[Greg]

Some minor changes on this one from the original posting in my thread thanks to Lat, in case anyone looked at the old version.

[Latios212]

Thanks for submitting this one, it's really needed Really solid work, needs a bit of polish here and there. Might not be able to go through the whole thing now, but here's a start for some presentational details.

Spoiler

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[close]

- Try this beaming instead. When there are 16th note rhythms each of the four quarter note beats should be beamed separately. There are other places as well like m. 23-25, 35-37 where you should break the beaming by beat when there are 16th rhythms, and measures like 59 with tuplets (more on those later).
- In measure 3, use a quarter rest since the rest is on beat 3 (as opposed to earlier in the measure). Use this elsewhere you have the same rhythm in the left hand.
- Use double barlines at key changes.
- There are some places where you can condense some note values too. Measure 8 beat 3 you can make a dotted quarter. Instead of using sextuplets in m. 55 and similar, use two triplets - quarter+eighth and three eighths. You also don't need to use triplets in places like m. 61 beat 3 where it's just one note.

I'll be back for more at a later time :J

[Greg]

Alright, fixed. I ended up changing the time signature to 4/4, which automatically fixes all the beaming issues. Honestly not sure why I had it in cut time to begin with, I don't think it makes a lot of sense.

[FireArrow]

C# -> Db measure 6

[Greg]

whoops

[Brassman388]

This is a great improvement from the original arrangement we had. I'm also glad to see another person doing kirby air ride stuff.

It looked fine from what I saw, not too many spots that need attention visually until we solve some other aspects of this arrangement.

While I know how difficult it can be to essentially reduce a score from a band or orchestral arrangement, I know that it can be done. It just takes some time and a little patience to figure out what works where and how you can get around only having two hands. The range of the arrangement is very top heavy. What I mean by that is that there isn't a lot of bass stuff going on. This can create the problem of emptiness and unbalance. Let's take a look at measure 11 - 14; where you have the two 16th's followed by an 8th hits on the first beat of each measure. Those spots are a perfect opportunity to either throw those notes in the bass either an octave down, or to double them an octave down. This will create a much fuller sound, and a much more powerful effect leading the listener into the next section.

To solve most of these problems is to just thinker with inverting chords, choosing the appropriate notes, and either moving some of those counter melodies to the other hand, or just dropping them all together. You have to come to terms that you won't get everything into one arrangement, but at the same time you want to have the fullest sound you can achieve and sometimes that doesn't involve countermelodies. Bass lines and figures are always first in my book. When choosing notes in a chord, always remember that the 5th of the chord spelling is the odd man out; meaning if you were to drop a note from a dense chord like a major 7th chord, it will almost always be the 5th.

These are just age old practices that us musicians/composers use. It's under a few theory principles, but ultimately what it comes down to is how does it sound afterward? How much can you sacrifice before you start not being able to recognize the tune?

I'm always willing to help. You can either shoot me a message here or on Discord.

I hope this helps.

[Greg]

Alright, I took a crack at changing some of the stuff in the bass. I'm... not entirely sure if it's better, honestly, but I've still got the old version just in case and I figured it'd be better to try out something rather than nothing. Would love to discuss this one with you when you've got the chance!

[LeviR.star]

Alright, I took a crack at changing some of the stuff in the bass. I'm... not entirely sure if it's better, honestly, but I've still got the old version just in case and I figured it'd be better to try out something rather than nothing. Would love to discuss this one with you when you've got the chance!

You've accidentally updated it with "Fire"'s files, Greg. (Don't worry, we all do that)

[Greg]

You've accidentally updated it with "Fire"'s files, Greg. (Don't worry, we all do that)

whoops nice catch

Unfortunately NSM isn't letting me update the files at the moment for some reason... in the meantime the links are in my arrangement thread I guess???

[Greg]

Alright, actually fixed the files.

[InsigTurtle]

I'm hearing the grace note in m.17 as an Eb (with maybe an F in between)?

m.23 I'd add some indication that the bass is coming out and being the big boy now, same in m.29

m.26 would add accent markings on the appropriate beats since the chords are not stressed all the same way

I feel that your m.69 could be more climactic, fill in the chords for the measures beforehand and you could add some more of the bass for more of that oomph

also goddamn this is a banger

[Greg]

I'm hearing the grace note in m.17 as an Eb (with maybe an F in between)?

You're absolutely right, fixed.

m.23 I'd add some indication that the bass is coming out and being the big boy now, same in m.29

At m.23 I doubled the bass and added some accents: at m.29 and 33 I threw in a crescendo I guess? Hopefully that's sufficiently indicative.

m.26 would add accent markings on the appropriate beats since the chords are not stressed all the same way

Done.

I feel that your m.69 could be more climactic, fill in the chords for the measures beforehand and you could add some more of the bass for more of that oomph

Tried a bunch of stuff here: doubled some places in RH, added accents, and added the Db bass octave in m.68. I think it sounds better now!

[Latios212]

Alright, here we go, sorry for the wait

- m. 1: the tied 16ths on beat 3.25, write as an eighth in LH and RH
- m. 4: The grace notes should be a triplet - the C falls on beat 4.5. Similar to the rhythm in m. 8, but with 3 notes instead of 2 at the end.
- Slur the grace notes in m. 17.
- Measure 20 beat 3.5 goes Ab-Bb-Ab instead of just Ab-Bb - would suggest using a mordent on an eighth note A flat instead.
- Beat 2 G in m. 33 should be an An. I think the D in the chord should be one as well.
- Put some dynamics around the crescendos in m. 29 and 33 to clarify where you're coming and going from (are they staying louder or resetting volume?)
- Last measure is missing a quarter rest.

Overall very solid sheet! Arrangement-wise, as Brassman mentioned there are still some places where you may want to fiddle with the texture - some places I'm noticing are missing a little punch from lower bass notes are the areas around m 33, m. 57, 61, and 76. Try playing around with those sections a bit, and ask away if you need help!

[Greg]

Thanks for the feedback!

- Beat 2 G in m. 33 should be an An. I think the D in the chord should be one as well.

I ended up just adding the A to the chord: think keeping the D is important since it serves to echo the missing D-C# line in the bass.
All the other stuff is done. (Although I'm curious about your first point: I always thought that that particular pattern was supposed to be split since the note is on an offbeat. Do you have a reference you use for rhythmic notation?)

Also messed around with the bass in all the places you mentioned. I'm pretty happy with m. 57, 61, and 76: m.33 sounds kind of iffy to me for some reason. If you've got any advice I'd love to hear it!