[DELETED] [3DS] Kid Icarus: Uprising - "Magnus's Theme" by Yug Guy

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Kid Icarus: Uprising
Console: Nintendo 3DS
Title: Magnus's Theme
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Yug Guy

[Yug_Guy]

[LeviR.star]

Aw, I thought you had an F-Zero streak going for a sec...

[BrainyLucario]

This is far better than F-Zero

[joeberryosponge]

This looks like a fun piece to play! There are some little things I see with it.

• The part where you have two voices with similar rhythms could probably be written in one voice. You can split them later when needed.
• The rests in measure 70 look weird in the middle of the whole notes. It should probably be lowered.
• I'm not sure if the glissandos are clear to follow the scale. Maybe you can notate with septuplets
• The rests in the right hand in the last measure should be consolidated into one.
• I'm not sure if you want to orchestrate more or keep it simple. I feel that that the brass line and woodwinds in measure 4 and similar would make it sound less static.

[Yug_Guy]

The rests in measure 70 look weird in the middle of the whole notes. It should probably be lowered.[/li][/list]
The rests in the right hand in the last measure should be consolidated into one.

Fixed.

The part where you have two voices with similar rhythms could probably be written in one voice. You can split them later when needed.

This is to show that the two voices are distinct.

I'm not sure if the glissandos are clear to follow the scale. Maybe you can notate with septuplets

tbh, I never envisioned the performer to go up the scale, just going up the white keys lol

I'm not sure if you want to orchestrate more or keep it simple. I feel that that the brass line and woodwinds in measure 4 and similar would make it sound less static.

Maybe, but I'd like to get a second opinion on that before implementing it first.

[Yug_Guy]

bump

[Khunjund]

Oh hey, a tempo indication that works on an actual mechanical metronome. How rare.

I'm not a fan of the power chords. I wouldn't be saying this if this were played by an electric guitar, but power chords aren't idiomatic to piano writing or orchestral writing, and, considering the register in which they are, combining them with your generally very sparse right hand makes the texture rather imbalanced. I'd prefer to see more harmony notes in the right hand and octaves in the bass. (In piano writing, this structure is usually employed to give additional strength to a specific chord, like in measure 23.)

The two layer writing is OK for the most part, but your rests should be visible in measure 16, on beats three and four of measure 27, and in measures 59–62.

I'd put an F in the right hand on the first beat of 23, and a D in the next two chords, to keep an even texture and be more consistent in doubling the melody at the octave.

I think the sextuplet in measure 24 starts on C.

I don't get the impression that there's a crescendo in measures 34–36. Personally, I'd put a regular cresc. in measure 37. The dynamic in measure 41 is definitely at least forte, however. Also, the horns keep blaring that A from measure 44 all the way through to 48. I recommend writing the second chord of measure 47 in two layers, or otherwise putting hooks, to indicate the the bottom notes are to be played with the left hand (unless you're Rachmaninoff and you can actually play that with one hand). In any case, I think this whole section would greatly benefit from being filled out with more harmony.

Measure 58 is a great example of power chords making the texture really muddy. Like, you're bordering on polyharmony the way it's written currently. (The bass plays F there, not C, by the way.) As for the right hand, when doing this type of writing for the piano, you generally put chords where you need extra strength (like on the beats) and octaves elsewhere, because it's really difficult to play huge parallel chords relentlessly like that. This is what that measure should look like:

Spoiler

[close]

The chord in measure 59 is G major, not minor. Personally, I wouldn't use glissandos, but that's up to you; exact scales would be more difficult to play, though. They key signature shouldn't change until measure 63, and that's a C minor chord, not Ab major; the melody goes Eb>C>G.

The chord in measure 73 is sus4—there's a C instead of the B, and it only resolves in measure 76. I'd repeat the right hand chords to achieve a more meaningful crescendo, and you could have the same chord structure at the octave in measure 75.

As for the additional orchestration, it depends on what you want. Putting in all the woodwind flourishes would really up the difficulty, but you already have a few, so I don't really know what your intention is. I think most of the brass effects culd be added in pretty easily, but again, it's up to you.

[Yug_Guy]

Looking over all of the detailed feedback from D3ath (thanks, btw), I think this arrangement is going to need way more fixing than I think I'm willing to put into it atm. So, I'm gonna save this arrangement for another day, and hopefully fix it up in the meantime.