[MUL] NieR: Automata - "Birth of a Wish" by Maelstrom

Started by Zeta, September 14, 2018, 03:18:31 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: NieR: Automata
Console: Multiplatform
Title: Birth of a Wish
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Maelstrom

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Maelstrom


Libera

Just two small things since I'm in bed right now:
-Missing a space after the and in the composed by section.
-It'd be better not to the have the final page with just one system on it.  Maybe decrease the resize and remove a system from each prior page?  Then you'd have 5,5,5,4 rather than 6,6,6,1.

Maelstrom

#3
dang it I missed the formatting things.
lemme fix em up

edit: fixed and I worked some evil black magic to make it 3 pages instead of 4.

Brassman388

These newer video game soundtracks are pretty cool.

Man, there was no way to incorporate that little twangy thing in the beginning, huh?

Margins are all weird, but not unsightly. Probably a very conscious choice. However, the title and copyright should probably be inside of the page margins. I feel that's why it looks a little squished both on top and bottom.

The 8vb in the first measure could probably be moved more to the bottom of the staff. Looks a little janky sticking out like that.

Some of the placement of the dynamic markings are a little off and could be centered more. Like the fortissimo in m. 53 that's colliding with the double bar line. The mezzo forte in m. 38 is problematic since you would have to split open the staves which I do not recommend. It's fine as is.

To give more room to move things around, I would go through each system and see if there's any space you could get rid of. Using the staff tool you can move each staff on each page without moving other staves on the same page. Unless you select the whole staff by clicking left of the staff. To avoid this, just use the handles themselves and reduce the space inbetween each system.

Let me know if that works, and if it helps.

Maelstrom

Quote from: Brassman388 on September 15, 2018, 10:07:21 AMThese newer video game soundtracks are pretty cool.
That they are.

I said to hell with it and copied the entire arrangement into my new template which has better margins. It's back to 4 pages but everything is spaced better and the first repeat is contained entirely on the 2nd page now.
It should look a lot better now.

Brassman388


Latios212

Wow, weird string (violin?) part. Sheet looks pretty neat. Mostly visual things:
- Move everything down on page 2-4 from the page headers
- simile text in 23 really lose to notes
- In 24/32 would recommend flipping staccatos normally
- m. 57/61/65 beat 4 hearing G not A in the RH
- Narrow the cresc. a bit at the end of m. 68.
- Are you sure you want the left hand of the last section to contain such small intervals? It's an octave lower and would probably sound really muddy.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Maelstrom

Fixed.
Notes:
simile text will now win against notes
the end was intentional.

Libera

#9
Right so a couple of things.  The left hand was fine since it's pretty up to interpretation anyway.  The biggest problem is that you're missing two complete bars in between 51-52.  (not much happens in them so it shouldn't be hard to fix.)

The other main thing was the string solo part, where some of it I feel is a little inaccurate (although I admit it's a pain to hear.)  These points are bars 40-41 and 45-46.  I've sent you pictures on discord with what I think is the correct part.  Latios shows me how much I know.

Bars 40-41.
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Bars 45-46.
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Other than that I'm happy with it.

Maelstrom


Zeta

This submission has been accepted by InsigTurtle.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot