[DELETED] [NDS] Magical Starsign - "Will-o'-Wisp Academy" by LifeMushroom

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Magical Starsign
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Will-o'-Wisp Academy
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: LifeMushroom

[LifeMushroom]

After a couple of years, I'm back and ready to submit some Magical Starsign sheets!

I need some help with changing the key signature to E minor on measure 9 to 13. I also need help on probably changing the right hand to 8va on the high notes.

Thanks.

[LifeMushroom]

Can someone review this? Thanks

[AmpharosAndy]

Just looking at the score, I've only got a couple o thangs

- bars 1-8 you could lower the right hand and put a +8ve line instead as it's a bit tricky to read
- change all your Ab notes to G# notes for better chromatic spelling at bars 9 and 11 plus to make an E major chord in bars 18 and 20
- those triplet crotchet rhythms in the left hand aren't necessary, it'd be better to just write it out straight

other than that, wicked m8 keep it up

[LifeMushroom]

Thanks. I've made some changes now, added 8va, changed the Ab's, lowered the tempo a bit, and the rhythms.

[Brassman388]

A couple more things.

Bass line: Beats 3-4 should be notated as 8th, 8th tied to a 16th, dotted 8th. This helps with reading where the beat lands.

M. 8: A double bar line needs to be added after it modulates to G-major. Then keep it that way.

M. 8: The rhythm on beat 5 is incorrect, as is having a C on the tail-end of the beat.

M. 18 - 20: Those A-flat's should be G-sharps.

Visually, the first page is a little crowded. Maybe you could move one possibly two systems from the first page to the second page?

[LifeMushroom]

Can you give an example measure for beats 3-4? Also I listened to M8 and can't find what's wrong with it.

[Brassman388]

First measure is correct, the second is incorrect.

[Maelstrom]

Bump for arranger

[LifeMushroom]

Can someone check this now?

[Libera]

Brassman checked this over two months ago and gave you feedback that you still haven't addressed.  More feedback can wait until then.

[LifeMushroom]

Hi, I've updated it and hopefully fixed most things. I'm having trouble with the page formatting, though.

[LeviR.star]

Here, LifeMushroom, I went through and fixed a few things (i.e. incomplete ties, beaming, page formatting). Here's the files.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/iuobxfvp0bdr8l4/Magical%20Starsign%20-%20Will-o%27-Wisp%20Academy.zip?dl=1

In the future, make sure that your .pdf is identical to your .mus and .musx files. There is still work to be done on this sheet, but here's what I have for you for now.

[LifeMushroom]

Thanks for the help and edits! I've updated the files now.

[Khunjund]

I'm positive this piece is in 5/8 (or in 5/4, but rewriting your current eighth notes into quarters, etc.). The accent on the 6th eighth note of every measure doesn't sound like a syncopation, but rather like another downbeat. The harmony also changes every 5 eighth notes, and harmonic syncopations tend to be used for effects, not constantly throughout a piece.

The 8va line should be continuous over the first eight measures, not renewed every system. (Actually, you don't even need to put an 8va line if you don't want to; it's up to you.)

Just to make sure if this is intentional or not: you do realize that you've almost completely left out the actual bass line from the left hand, right? This is especially noticeable following the modulation, after which the bass is a lot more mobile. Additionally, a number of your rythms are different from the original. This mostly occurs in the left hand (e.g. last beat of measure 2, etc.), but also in the right occasionally (like the first beat of measure 17). Moreover, in the original, the texture gets thicker from measure 13 to the end with the addition of (synth) string chords, and nothing reflects this in your arrangement (arguably until measure 17, where a few added notes and the more active melody doubled in thirds sort of work to this effect); was this also intentional?