[PS2] Chulip - "Smooch of Divine Protection - As Much As Possible" by Nine Lives

[Brassman388]

It's really close!

But, even out the systems with enough space to not crowd the copyright; also, don't forget to add NSM's url in the copyright!

Those last things and this gets a green from me.

[NineLives]

It's really close!

But, even out the systems with enough space to not crowd the copyright; also, don't forget to add NSM's url in the copyright!

Those last things and this gets a green from me.

All done. Well, almost. Is it okay if the .mus file is without it? The site's address won't show up in Finale Notepad.

[Brassman388]

Check your files. There seems to be a lot more problems that sprung up within the last conversion.

If you're on discord, pm me the pdf of how you think it should look with all the changes and what not. From there I'll make a fresh file.

[Brassman388]

Okay, this should be the last edit.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/ahfm1hxca2prlxg/Smooch%20edit1.mus?dl=0

Hope this one works.

[NineLives]

I hope so too.

[mastersuperfan]

• As a heads-up, your MUSX doesn't match the other files. Given your conversation with Brassman, it seems to me that the MUS/PDF is the current version while the MUSX is outdated... While the MUSX won't be going on-site, people who are looking to give feedback might just download that and not check the other files.
• On that note, the way you have the systems in your MUSX looks a lot better than in your MUS/PDF. Since the phrases themselves are four measures long, the four-measure systems in the MUSX clearly outline the phrases. Not only does the current MUS/PDF get rid of that, but having one less system also makes the page look way too spaced out.
• There's been a lot of debate about whether to put rit. and other similar expressions above the staves or in between the staves, but... I don't think anyone said anything about below the staves. It doesn't look right to me there; I'd move it.
• You're still missing some grace notes in m8 beat 1 and m16 beat 1.
• This sheet would really benefit from some slurs. Other than the eighth note in m6, you don't have anything to delineate the phrases, which sound clearly defined in the original. For instance:

That's all I have for now. I didn't check notes, but it sounds good on a first listen. Still, I wonder if there may be extra notes or notes you didn't include, especially given how much the sheet seems to have changed from the old version to the current one.

[Libera]

• As a heads-up, your MUSX doesn't match the other files. Given your conversation with Brassman, it seems to me that the MUS/PDF is the current version while the MUSX is outdated... While the MUSX won't be going on-site, people who are looking to give feedback might just download that and not check the other files.
  

To add to this, it's not a requirement to have a musx for a submission, so if you prefer working from the mus then it's fine to leave out the musx file.  That way people won't have the problem of downloading an outdated file, and saves you the hassle of the ensuing confusion.

[NineLives]

To add to this, it's not a requirement to have a musx for a submission, so if you prefer working from the mus then it's fine to leave out the musx file.  That way people won't have the problem of downloading an outdated file, and saves you the hassle of the ensuing confusion.

Yes, I noticed the musx file was outdated. I wanted to delete it, but I couldn't figure out how to. Can I delete it while editing it or is there a process outside of the "NSM Panel" to do so?

[Latios212]

We can get that upon acceptance time. For now, need to address MSF's comments.

[NineLives]

We can get that upon acceptance time. For now, need to address MSF's comments.

Done and done.

[Brassman388]

There must have been some confusion as to some of the feedback both MSF and I gave about the tempo alterations and margin spacing.

MSF meant to say that they could go above the entire system. I'd prefer a mix of above or below. Sometimes the a tempo is above the system and sometimes the ritardando is below in that configuration. Sometimes both are above, sometimes they're both below. Look up some examples on IMSLP to see which one fits your arrangement style.

What I meant about the system indent is that the first system gets more or less 0.5 inches of space from the page, while the rest of the systems don't really need any additional spacing. Right now, you don't need the pno abbreviation on top of having the piano title in the first system. It seems redundant to me.

On top of all of that, system spacing could be just a little bit better. A little more even. Right now how you have it, it leans up to the top right of the document. Once you fix the previous margin things, I'm sure it'll even out. I have no doubt about that.

[NineLives]

I'd prefer a mix of above or below. Sometimes the a tempo is above the system and sometimes the ritardando is below in that configuration. Sometimes both are above, sometimes they're both below. Look up some examples on IMSLP to see which one fits your arrangement style.

What I meant about the system indent is that the first system gets more or less 0.5 inches of space from the page, while the rest of the systems don't really need any additional spacing. Right now, you don't need the pno abbreviation on top of having the piano title in the first system. It seems redundant to me.

On top of all of that, system spacing could be just a little bit better. A little more even. Right now how you have it, it leans up to the top right of the document. Once you fix the previous margin things, I'm sure it'll even out. I have no doubt about that.

All right. I think I changed it to fit that request...

[InsigTurtle]

Doin' a bit of note-checking here

m.2 sounds like the last E in the bass should be F
Sounds like you're missing some voices, like in m.5-6 I hear a C D E F G in the bass. D'you want any help with that or do you wanna try and work it out yourself first?

[NineLives]

D'you want any help with that or do you wanna try and work it out yourself first?

Yes. I would love some help.

[Sebastian]

Hey nice work with this piece, Nine. And thanks to above feedback.

Knowing that you're a notepad user, I saved you some trouble and went ahead and made some changes. You can view them here:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/30fhmudjchpb306/Chulip%20-%20Smooch%20of%20Divine%20Protection%20-%20As%20Much%20As%20Possible.pdf?dl=1
https://www.dropbox.com/s/e9o4fozc9baldm3/Chulip%20-%20Smooch%20of%20Divine%20Protection%20-%20As%20Much%20As%20Possible.musx?dl=1
https://www.dropbox.com/s/5tv0sk2xquwpsco/Chulip%20-%20Smooch%20of%20Divine%20Protection%20-%20As%20Much%20As%20Possible.mus?dl=1
https://www.dropbox.com/s/ux9btm1tv2fo7sh/Chulip%20-%20Smooch%20of%20Divine%20Protection%20-%20As%20Much%20As%20Possible.mid?dl=1

Changes made:
- Made the PDF and MUS match.
- Fixed some wrong notes and added some left out voices.
- I adjusted the time signature of the last two measures. This helped fix a few things.
- Aligned some misaligned text.

Plz tell me what you think. Plz also feel free to use these files in the OP.