[DELETED] [NES] Flying Warriors - "Practice in the Mountain" by Jacopo Tore

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Flying Warriors
Console: Nintendo Entertainment System
Title: Practice in the Mountain
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Jacopo Tore

[JacopoTore]

[nacho2420]

Nice arrangement!

Couple things I noticed:

Consider hiding all of the the Pno. abbreviations as that's only useful in a big score with many different instruments.

*If your version of finale won't let you, I can do it for you and make a new file, just let me know.

Meas 7 be careful with the range written in the RH. Looks like a crazy stretch. I suggest moving the A's and G#'s (meas down an octave and moved to the LH, as well as change the LH notes in those 2 measures up an octave to stay playable. If you prefer the C#'s to stay that low, maybe take out the A's and G#'s and replace them with C#'s to make the RH the span of an octave.

Meas 14, change the D# to Eb, as chromatic rules imply that generally, notes going chromatically down will use flats and notes chromatically going up will use sharps. This will also rid the measure of that extra natural in the D. Also, a slur marking over the two grace notes (drag it all the way to the C# on meas 15) will help the player connect them into the C#.

I understand your beaming choices to express the rhythmic pattern in the LH on meas 13, but make sure that's consistent (i.e. change the beaming to that on meas 19/20)*

meas 35 I'd move the F#/C# high notes in the LH to the RH, for easier playability especially in regards to beat 4 of meas 36 in the LH (it's still possible but unnecessarily difficult)

Lastly, consider a switch to treble clef instead of bass clef with an 8va in the last two systems*

Notes look correct so far, great work!

[JacopoTore]

Thank you!
I did everything

Meas 7 be careful with the range written in the RH

eights must be play with left hand if you have a little span, my point is not to simplify the score for amateur pianists, they can do it themselves
I want the score is playable and respect the choise of the composer, so if I could not change anything I do not change nothing, I really care about this thing

[nacho2420]

Looks much better!

[JacopoTore]

Looks much better!

Thank you for your suggestions!

[Sebastian]

Here are some things I have for this one (I'm only able to access the PDF so I'm going off of that. Also, I check note accuracies and whatnot later).
- You have "Composition by" and "Arranged by." For consistency's sake, make either the "Composition" "composed" or the "Arranged" "Arrangement."
- There should be a space in between "by" and "Akinori" concerning the composer information.
- The game title is incorrectly formatted.
- The "m" in the word "mountain" should be capitalized both on the sheet and submission itself.
- There are a lot of incorrect beaming and rhythms here. The quarter rests in M. 1 RH (and others like it) should be two eighths. Also, the LH eighths in the same measure (and others like it) should not be beamed together. Some may argue that eighth - quarter would be easier to read than eighth - eighth.
- The layers in M. 2, 4, etc. (beat 4.0) are misaligned. Deleting the note and re-placing it will do the trick.
- I'd recommend Eb instead of D# in M. 6.
- More incorrect beams/rhythms in M. 13+
- The formatting is a bit wonky on page 2. There is significantly less space in between staves than on page one. You have lots of room on the bottom of page 2, so it wouldn't hurt to straighten that up.
- The copyright information is quite high. That could be lowered some.

[LeviR.star]

Jacopo? Still around?

[JacopoTore]

- The game title is incorrectly formatted.
- I'd recommend Eb instead of D# in M. 6.

I do not understand

[JacopoTore]

Jacopo? Still around?

Sorry

[Brassman388]

More important question: is everything updated?

[JacopoTore]

More important question: is everything updated?

Yes

[Brassman388]

Ouf, this is a toughie.

I haven't checked any of the tonal aspects of it yet because the sheet itself is kinda mess.

Let's begin.

Margins for both pages are off. There isn't a standard, but I usually choose something safe like 0.5625 to 0.5 inches on all sides. If you have instrument titles or anything that could fall off the page, take the system margins into consideration when using those two sizes.

Actually, how that I look at it, it looks like your whole page is veering off to the right. I'm not using the mus file, but the pdf file. I'll leave that to you on how to fix it.

Throughout the piece there's this syncopation that you have first in the right hand with the melody in the first eight bars. I understand that you want to keep it in it's sounded range, but for easier performance you may want to consider arranging that into the left hand with the bass figure that it accompanies. This will make the melody easier to play, the left hand much easier to read, and the rhythm of the whole thing easier to look at overall.

Measure 9 - 12, while this is obviously played by two separate hands, maybe you could cross staff both figures? Another solution is to make the downbeat of each note a staccato'd quarter note establishing the pulse and differentiating the syncopation. Play around with it and see what works and what doesn't.

Measure 13 - 36, bottom staff, combine both figures and beam them.

Measure 16, 17, 19, top staff, combine the eighth rests in each measure.


That's all I got so far, and once you fix those things then I'll go through and see if your tones are accurate.

[JacopoTore]

Ouf, this is a toughie.

I haven't checked any of the tonal aspects of it yet because the sheet itself is kinda mess.

Let's begin.

Margins for both pages are off. There isn't a standard, but I usually choose something safe like 0.5625 to 0.5 inches on all sides. If you have instrument titles or anything that could fall off the page, take the system margins into consideration when using those two sizes.

Actually, how that I look at it, it looks like your whole page is veering off to the right. I'm not using the mus file, but the pdf file. I'll leave that to you on how to fix it.

Throughout the piece there's this syncopation that you have first in the right hand with the melody in the first eight bars. I understand that you want to keep it in it's sounded range, but for easier performance you may want to consider arranging that into the left hand with the bass figure that it accompanies. This will make the melody easier to play, the left hand much easier to read, and the rhythm of the whole thing easier to look at overall.

Measure 9 - 12, while this is obviously played by two separate hands, maybe you could cross staff both figures? Another solution is to make the downbeat of each note a staccato'd quarter note establishing the pulse and differentiating the syncopation. Play around with it and see what works and what doesn't.

Measure 13 - 36, bottom staff, combine both figures and beam them.

Measure 16, 17, 19, top staff, combine the eighth rests in each measure.


That's all I got so far, and once you fix those things then I'll go through and see if your tones are accurate.

Ok, your comments are vague and incomprehensible to a non-native of the English language.
What is the title problem? Please explain briefly what the problem is and (if you are capable) provide a solution in a few clear and concise steps, without describing your impressions by looking at the PDF file and without describing your habits of how you work on a score, or by entering the superfluous comments at the end of the post.
Also I still do not understand why the note Eb instead of D#.
Before you took part in this score the eighths were connected according to this scheme https://imgur.com/a/ipncon5, Sebastian asked me to correct them (- More incorrect beams / rhythms in M. 13+) now you are asking me to correct again but without specifying which eighths should be connected, in what quantity and in which groups; could you specify what the problem is and how to solve it? Could you give a graphic example if you can not explain it in words? Thanks

[Brassman388]

I'm pretty sure this is clear and concise.


Do you want me to write it like I'm google translate or something?