[GBA] Hamtaro: Rainbow Rescue - "Sparkle Coast" by Altissimo

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Hamtaro: Rainbow Rescue
Console: Game Boy Advance
Title: Sparkle Coast
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Altissimo

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[Altissimo]

[Sebastian]

Nice work. The only thing I have for this one is the parentheses in M. 7. They are awfully close to the note.

Notes and everything else looks good.

[Altissimo]

Fixed.

[Sebastian]

Great.

[Olimar12345]

Notes and rhythms look/sound good. Few things:
-I think it would be nicer to look at that first measure with the sixteenth rest added to the front. This helps establish that the first note isn't on a down beat. Doing this would also eliminate the double-dotted quarter rest in the LH, which is also not a great thing to see.
-Your left margin is really big. Might be able to put that space to better use in the music rather than just being empty as it is now.
-The LH part throughout the first page is technically accurate. You've included all of the notes from all voices that occur. Unfortunately, by doing so you've made it really awkward to play on the piano. You could make this arrangement not only much more approachable, but much more pianisitc if you dropped a few notes here and there. Below is an edition containing what I would personally have done with this arrangement. You don't have to do this, and your version with the corrections I've put above would be okay, but I hope you consider something more like this. There is a beauty in simplicity and not giving away too much too soon.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/ueewyzj1j3do6il/Sparkle%20Coast12345.mus?dl=1

[Altissimo]

-The LH part throughout the first page is technically accurate. You've included all of the notes from all voices that occur. Unfortunately, by doing so you've made it really awkward to play on the piano. You could make this arrangement not only much more approachable, but much more pianisitc if you dropped a few notes here and there. Below is an edition containing what I would personally have done with this arrangement. You don't have to do this, and your version with the corrections I've put above would be okay, but I hope you consider something more like this. There is a beauty in simplicity and not giving away too much too soon.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/ueewyzj1j3do6il/Sparkle%20Coast12345.mus?dl=1

My policy is to get as much from the original in as I can. I recognize that doesn't make for super "artistic" arrangements but, fact of the matter is that I'm simply not an experienced enough pianist to know what makes for good piano writing and what doesn't. So if updaters want to make suggestions on how to make my arrangements more pianstic/artistic I'm totally willing to take it. Your version is cleaner so I'll take that - I'll have updated by the time you see this post :p

[Olimar12345]

One thing that I learned while studying composition was that you should try to play what you write at an actual keyboard, as slowly as you need to in order to get an understanding of how it would be to play it. You don't necessarily need to get it anywhere near performance-ready, but just fingering through things a bit can really show you what works well and what doesn't.

Files look good.

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Olimar12345.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot