[NDS] Dragon Quest IX: Sentinels of the Starry Skies - "Guide Them to Their Fate" by K-NiGhT

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Dragon Quest
Game: Dragon Quest IX: Sentinels of the Starry Skies
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Guide Them to Their Fate
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: K-NiGhT

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[K-NiGhT]

[Olimar12345]

Really interesting piece, and great work arranging it! I just have a few suggestions to improve it:

-Quick formatting thing: You're missing the "Piano" text that goes to the left of the first and indented system. It's only the "Pno." abbreviation that is unnecessary.
-Your tempo mark would look nicer imo if you put spaces on either sides of the equals sign. It just looks squished, is all.
-Just a word of caution, when notating atonal music, you'll want to be rather generous with your courtesy accidentals, as to not raise any questions of possible errors from the performer. I would suggest that you comb through the piece and add courtesy accidentals to chords similar to the one in measure one, in which you have a G# and G natural, and clarify the intended use of both G natural G sharp by not leaving one blank. (Eb's against E naturals in mm. 9, the C# against the C in mm. 16, etc.)
-You might want to try experimenting with writing the section at mm. 24-26 (RH) in two layers to add clarity to that section. I'm not totally sure it will work out, but give it a shot and see what you think.
-Measure 12's LH part is down an octave in the original. Any particular reason it is up an octave in yours?
-I would respell the E on beat two of measure 15 as an Fb, to stay consistent with the descending chromatic thirds.
-I think the down beat in measure 18 (LH) is supposed to be silence, like the following measures. Did you write for that C to hold over because of the echo?
-I believe measure 25's down beat in the LH should be octave E's. (you have a stray F in there for some reason?)

Again, very interesting piece, and expertly captured onto paper (er...electronic paper...) I look forward to seeing this one accepted!

[Tobbeh99]

I'm thinking about the accidentals. A lot of the times when there are major seconds descending, like measures 7,8,15,16, you've written them using sharps. I think it's better to use flats, I think that's somewhat of a consensus when writing atonal music: that when you have ascending motion use sharps and when you have descending motion use flats. This goes for the entire song so might want to double-check the enharmonic spelling, so it's logical.

[Olimar12345]

I disagree with you, Tobbeh. With the exception of the instances I mentioned above, I'd say the spots you mentioned make more sense the way they are written. Looking at measures 7-8, Knight displays the motive of the ascending whole steps that chromatically descend, while the down beats show the chromatic descent. If you respell the first part E-F#-D#-F, then the chromatic descend is spelled E-D#-D, which is exactly what you didn't want; using sharps to descend lol.

[DonValentino]

Not removing it because that would be throwing away the feedback and on top of that the arrangement is great, but plz don't forget to check your submissions now and then!

[Bespinben]

Accepted because I can.

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Bespinben.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot