[DELETED] [3DS] Bravely Default - "Serpent Devouring the Horizon" by Maelstrom

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Final Fantasy
Game: Bravely Default
Console: Nintendo 3DS
Title: Serpent Devouring the Horizon
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Maelstrom

[Maelstrom]

The accidentals are a little off in measures 77-82

[Yugi]

Would this go into the Final Fantasy or Other sections when accepted?

[Maelstrom]

It's confusing. I guess it would go under FF, but it is not technically a FF game.
It is considered a spiritual successor to FF: The 4 Heroes of Light.
edit: I made the changes accordingly.

[Yugi]

Also, looking through the MUS file, I don't think the left hand in bars 96-99 (Edea's theme) is correct. I'm not sure what the correct notation is, but I think it's supposed to be moving upwards with the right hand.

[Maelstrom]

I went with the bass guitar, as I did in all the other themes, but the ascending chords might work better. I won't have access to this for a bit, so bear with me.

[Maelstrom]

Fixed along with another problem.
I'd really like an updater to look at this, but, I know, it's ridiculously long. 
Still, feedback would be helpful.

[Brassman388]

You weren't joking when you said that this was a long one.

Do you know what people remember in a work or song? The beginning, the theme, and the resolution. The beginning is probably the most important. It's like writing in any form or fashion, it need to grab the listener's attention. And I'm sure I don't need to describe what happens if it doesn't. You've done it, I've done it, everyone has done it. If it doesn't grab my attention within the first 5 seconds, I move on to another work.

The intro is very powerful, it starts with the a chorus and has very full feel. You need to emulate that however you do. You need to expand those chords throughout the entire two bars that you have. You can do it, it'll just take some tweaking and some layering. Which isn't bad, but when done improperly, will make it sound muddy and congested.

This idea, actually, is a pretty big theme throughout the entire piece. You need to take some time and fill in some of the empty spots where the music thins out. I know it can be a difficult when trying to listen for exact parts and voices, but that's where the "arranging" aspect of our jobs come in. Utilize the bass line. Fill in those spots with educated guesses and compare it to the original. You'd be surprise what you can do with just a bass note and two other voices.

There are also several spots like, measure 50 thru 64, and again at measure 83 thru 110, where I've noticed you attempt to 'condense' the music in order to save space and time. Don't do that. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't and this is one of those cases where it does not. I say this because you're sacrificing all that compressing at the cost of how readable the melody line is. If it's your lack of intro that won't turn off a reader, your 32nd notes will definitely do just that. Everyone that I know who has every looked at a piano piece and saw 32nds never went, "Oh boy, my favorite!". Never. So, do yourself a favor and the readers a favor and rewrite all those sections.

That's all I have for now. I'll have more about the specifics on chord use, time and key changes, tempo and so on after you make your sheet a bit more visually accessible.

[Maelstrom]

Alright, I poured my heart and soul into this, so you'd better like it.

I truly am at a loss as to what to do with measures 19-20 and 104-111

And I only updated the .mus, btw.

[Brassman388]

Okay, I'll take a look at it.

I'll do some of my own editing, is that okay?

[Maelstrom]

Absolutely.

[Maelstrom]

Okay, I'll take a look at it.

I'll do some of my own editing, is that okay?

How's it coming?

[Maelstrom]

I'm deleting this until Brassman gets back to me. It's better this way.