[MUL] OMORI - "Trees..." by PlayfulPiano

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: OMORI
Console: Multiplatform
Title: Trees...
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: PlayfulPiano

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[attachment deleted by admin]

[PlayfulPiano]

Another OMORI arrangement made in like a day. This one is a bit more similar to my other arrangements, i.e. basing off of accuracy and matching the sound of the original. There might be one point which could require a reverse chord roll (the last few measures, although idk how to do that), and otherwise I don't know if what I did with the early 3rd layer ppp usage was kosher. Otherwise, hope it's all good.

[Latios212]

This is pretty nice! Some initial feedback:

- This piece really doesn't sound like it should start out with a mf dynamic... it's so soft
- Move the con pedale down left away from the ties a bit
- I would highly recommend removing the top layer C in m. 7 - it forms a minor second with the Bn in the melody and sounds really clashy. You already have a C in the left hand to outline the Cmaj7 chord anyway.
- I don't think the rhythm of the 16th note Bb in m. 19 is right. It sounds like on beat 4 it's a triplet consisting of one eighth note and a qharter note Bb.
- Flip the tie in the last couple of measures down (away from the D that plays in the last measure).

More feedback to come about the rhythm/timings of the notes later.

There might be one point which could require a reverse chord roll (the last few measures, although idk how to do that)

Do you mean a downwards roll (from top to bottom)? You can use a roll marking with an arrowhead on the bottom. I don't actually remember off the top of my head how to do that, but you may be able to get it by copying and pasting from a sheet that already has it. (try this sheet, m. 34)

I don't know if what I did with the early 3rd layer ppp usage was kosher.

That's fine (actually quite a nice way of doing it). Be sure to conform to the normal rhythmic rules of writing, though - namely you can write in a small quarter rest + dotted eighth rest before the 16th note, and split the middle C into two tied 16ths to show where beat 4 is. Be sure to move the ppp away a little bit too so it doesn't touch the figure.

Other formatting and other logistical stuff:
- Leave the OST number out - just use "Trees..." for the title. Similarly, don't need "OST" in the game title.
- Do you have a source for the single composer listed? A quick search on Steam and Wikipedia gives me three composers for the game but not a track-by-track breakdown.
- Formatting guidelines stuff: remove the "Pno." at the beginning of the staves after the first one, put the company before the hear in the copyright
- Give these two topics a look - page margins and staccato placement

The above section of comments applies to your other submissions as well.

[PlayfulPiano]

This is pretty nice! Some initial feedback:

- This piece really doesn't sound like it should start out with a mf dynamic... it's so soft
- Move the con pedale down left away from the ties a bit
- I would highly recommend removing the top layer C in m. 7 - it forms a minor second with the Bn in the melody and sounds really clashy. You already have a C in the left hand to outline the Cmaj7 chord anyway.
- I don't think the rhythm of the 16th note Bb in m. 19 is right. It sounds like on beat 4 it's a triplet consisting of one eighth note and a qharter note Bb.
- Flip the tie in the last couple of measures down (away from the D that plays in the last measure).

More feedback to come about the rhythm/timings of the notes later.
Do you mean a downwards roll (from top to bottom)? You can use a roll marking with an arrowhead on the bottom. I don't actually remember off the top of my head how to do that, but you may be able to get it by copying and pasting from a sheet that already has it. (try this sheet, m. 34)
That's fine (actually quite a nice way of doing it). Be sure to conform to the normal rhythmic rules of writing, though - namely you can write in a small quarter rest + dotted eighth rest before the 16th note, and split the middle C into two tied 16ths to show where beat 4 is. Be sure to move the ppp away a little bit too so it doesn't touch the figure.

Other formatting and other logistical stuff:
- Leave the OST number out - just use "Trees..." for the title. Similarly, don't need "OST" in the game title.
- Do you have a source for the single composer listed? A quick search on Steam and Wikipedia gives me three composers for the game but not a track-by-track breakdown.
- Formatting guidelines stuff: remove the "Pno." at the beginning of the staves after the first one, put the company before the hear in the copyright
- Give these two topics a look - page margins and staccato placement

The above section of comments applies to your other submissions as well.

Everything mentioned here / what was discussed in discord is now implemented with the sheet updated.

[Latios212]

Nice! One last major comment from me, about spacing:

You have two whole pages to work with, yet some measures (9-14) are more cramped than others, you have extra space at the bottom of the first page, and the first system on the second page is rather close to the header. You can better even things out by doing something like this:

You cannot view this attachment.

Note how the measures are more evenly distributed across systems and the systems are more evenly distributed across the page. Keep this in mind as you're making your sheet. Feel free to use this file that contains the spacing adjustments shown above.

And a few more minor things:
- I would recommend softer dynamics still - this piece is very subdued. Instead of mp/mf, perhaps try p/mp. Also make sure the dynamic in the first measure is centered between the staves - it's closer to the top right now.
- I don't think the tenuto-accents on the notes in m. 7-8 are necessary.
- Flip the RH octave in m. 20 beat 3 downwards as it would normally be because there's nothing below it.

That should be mostly it from me.

[PlayfulPiano]

Nice! One last major comment from me, about spacing:

You have two whole pages to work with, yet some measures (9-14) are more cramped than others, you have extra space at the bottom of the first page, and the first system on the second page is rather close to the header. You can better even things out by doing something like this:

You cannot view this attachment.

Note how the measures are more evenly distributed across systems and the systems are more evenly distributed across the page. Keep this in mind as you're making your sheet. Feel free to use this file that contains the spacing adjustments shown above.

And a few more minor things:
- I would recommend softer dynamics still - this piece is very subdued. Instead of mp/mf, perhaps try p/mp. Also make sure the dynamic in the first measure is centered between the staves - it's closer to the top right now.
- I don't think the tenuto-accents on the notes in m. 7-8 are necessary.
- Flip the RH octave in m. 20 beat 3 downwards as it would normally be because there's nothing below it.

That should be mostly it from me.

All done.

[Latios212]

Alright looks good to me. Approved

[Static]

• It's hard to discern a specific 5/4 pulse in these more free-flowing pieces, but I encourage you to try and line up some rhythms when you can. m1-4 look weird with the whole notes starting on different beats, and similarly m7-8 LH don't quite line up in terms of subdivision. Pictured below are the divisions that I think work well for this piece (m11 isn't pictured but it should look like m1-2):
  
  Spoiler

  

  [close]
• Top tie in m20 should be flipped up
• This more nitpicky than anything, but I don't think "melodic" is a really informative direction. I think the word you're looking for is "expressively" or something along those lines. Melodic is more of a technical term that I don't think describes the character of the piece, just my two cents there.

Edit: Also, the systems on page 1 have enough room to be moved down a bit so that the title and composer/arranger text have some more room (it should look like the image Latios posted).

[PlayfulPiano]

• It's hard to discern a specific 5/4 pulse in these more free-flowing pieces, but I encourage you to try and line up some rhythms when you can. m1-4 look weird with the whole notes starting on different beats, and similarly m7-8 LH don't quite line up in terms of subdivision. Pictured below are the divisions that I think work well for this piece (m11 isn't pictured but it should look like m1-2):
  
  Spoiler

  

  [close]
• Top tie in m20 should be flipped up
• This more nitpicky than anything, but I don't think "melodic" is a really informative direction. I think the word you're looking for is "expressively" or something along those lines. Melodic is more of a technical term that I don't think describes the character of the piece, just my two cents there.

Edit: Also, the systems on page 1 have enough room to be moved down a bit so that the title and composer/arranger text have some more room (it should look like the image Latios posted).

Did all of the edits you've suggested. Thanks Seb.

[Static]

Thanks Seb.

Think you got the wrong updater lol

Looks good though, so I'll accept

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Static.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot