Food/Cooking Update

[Latios212]

ACK I meant measure 10! Hate to be this nitpicky but I'm sure it's there.  Also, Latios, I'm not sure if you saw what I said about the LH high B# in measure 8 but I really can't hear it at all. (Hope this feedback is okay even though it's accepted already...)

Ah, gotcha. Yes you're right on both accounts ^^ I'll update the files

[Static]

Since Latios made the changes, I'll be accepting Cooking Mama.

[mastersuperfan]

I don't really see how this could be confusing.  I moved it up a little anyway, but I think it's fine.

Ok, sure.

Seems like the first thing was just v26 being weird (again). Anyway, accepted!

Feedback incoming for the final(!) sheet. Stay tuned...

[mastersuperfan]

Last sheet to check!

Treat Land (Kirby's Epic Yarn) - Rubikium

- According to the in-game sound test, the names of the world themes are actually just "Grass Land," "Hot Land," "Treat Land," etc. Re-title this sheet as "Treat Land" and we'll change the other ones on-site later.
- You might consider making the half notes in m1-4 LH into two quarter notes each, since those notes are also part of the quarter note chords in the original. The same goes for the half notes in m5-8 and m49-52. I actually like the half notes better, so never mind.
- I would add G's to beats 2 and 3 in m5-8 LH, like you did in m49-52.
- You might consider placing a slur from m4 RH beat 3 to m12 RH beat 1, and then another starting on m12 RH beat 3, etc. (and then slurs across each of the following melodic phrases) You have plenty of space between systems for this, and not only does it indicate that it should be legato, but it also emphasizes that m4 RH beat 3 is a part of the melody itself, rather than just a dyad like the others in m1-4.
- m8 RH beat 3 should be spelled as a Bb instead of an A#. Consequently, a courtesy natural should be added on the B in m9 RH. The same goes for m16 RH beat 3 (Bb instead of A#), though a courtesy natural isn't necessary in m17 since the B is in a different octave.
- In m9-12 LH, all of the quarter note chords also have an F in them. There is also a dotted half F starting on beat 1, but an octave lower than you've written it. <-- (Never mind, it's actually just a quarter note) So, I would suggest using one of the following three possibilities (the first one is the fullest and includes everything and is easily playable by pedal (the first one should have a quarter note on beat 1 instead of dotted quarters), but the second and third ones are simpler and closer to what you have now). Choose whichever one you prefer. This applies to m17-20 as well.

m9-12

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m9-12

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m9-12

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- Whatever you do for m9-12 and m17-20, I would do the same for m13-16 as well—either keep it the way it is now, or write it as follows:

m13-16

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^^ You'll notice that I inverted the E-C dyad in m13 and m15. In the original, the dyad is actually a third (C is lower), but it's up to you whether you want to write it like this or keep it a sixth as is, since the E-C sixth is more similar to the E-B fifth in m14 and m16. The way it is is probably better, actually.
- In m30 RH, I'm hearing the chord as G-E-G instead of G-C-G. (Although, if you wanted, you could add the E and still keep the C, too.)
- m32 RH, I'm hearing E-A-C#-E for beat 1, F-D-F for beat 2, and G-E-G for beat 3. see point below
- For m32-34, I'm hearing constant thirds under the melody (except for m34 beat 3), like so:

m31-36

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As I wrote above, I'm also hearing an A on m32 beat 1, but it's very short and faint, so you can omit that if you want. Layer 2 is also an F instead of a D on m36 beat 1 (and I added the low D to Layer 1 instead).
- I think the courtesy natural in m33 looks a little weird since it's only on one note in the C-C octave, which might make people think at first that the top and bottom C's are played differently. Since it's pretty far from the C# in m32, it might be better to omit the courtesy natural entirely.
- I'm also hearing a G in the RH chord in m37.
- I'm also hearing an E in the RH chord in m38.
- I'm not hearing a G in the first RH chord in m39, but it might be a nice addition if you wanted it to sound fuller (especially after m37 and m38, which have four notes each).
- In m39 RH, it sounds like the E is being re-articulated on beat 3 as well.
- In m40, the C# is being held throughout the whole measure. You could either make the C# a Layer 2 dotted half note, or you could re-articulate the C# on all three beats. (I like how the latter sounds, plus it looks cleaner as well.)
- Courtesy natural on the C on m41 RH beat 1.
- I'm also hearing a D on m41 RH beat 1. (It's actually the horn, but I think it's nice since it resolves upward from the C# and adds some texture with the C natural.)
- I'm hearing the C re-articulated on m41 RH beat 3.
- m44 RH beat 2, I think the tied Eb looks kind of weird and is probably not necessary because the player will be using pedal. The held Eb also belongs to the horn, not to the string melody. Beat 2 actually just sounds like a plain octave to me, but you might consider adding in an F (or maybe re-articulating the Eb? which sounds a little more dissonant) to make beat 2 sound less empty compared to the notes before and after it. There's actually an Eb on beat 2 RH, I think.
- The Db in the m46 RH chord should be spelled as a C# to be consistent with the LH, and also because of some music theory stuff that Bespinben mentioned (chord progression I > viio7/ii > ii > V, according to him).
- m48 RH beat 1, the G in the chord should be an F.
- In m49-50, the RH chord is only C-E-C in the original and doesn't have the G. I think removing the G would be a nice touch since it gives a softer sound right as it transitions back into the soft section. If you remove the G in m49-50, I would remove the G on m48 RH beat 3 as well.
- Small thing, but personally I would remove the accent on the m49 RH chord since it implies that that chord is played more forcefully than the chords before it, which isn't really the case—it's a smoothly moving phrase with constant volume, not with it suddenly becoming more forceful as it reaches the last note.
- In m39-40, the bass is playing quarter notes (C#, E, G in m39; C#, E, Bb in m40), while the harp plays an E on beat 1.5. I would forgo the (two eighth)-(quarter)-(quarter) rhythm just for these two measures and use those quarter notes, since repeating the E on beats 1.5 and 2 sounds awkward (I'm assuming this is why you wrote G and Bb for beats 2 and 3 in these measures). The Bb on beat 3 of m39 doesn't fit, so definitely change that one, but if you would rather have a G on m40 beat 2 instead of an E to keep the eighth note rhythm, that's fine.
- I would write m45-48 all in one layer, as quarter notes, to be consistent with the bassline m29-44. The pianist will be using pedal anyways, so the low note on beat 1 will still get held. You could also bring back (2 eighth notes)-(quarter)-(quarter) rhythm you used in m28-34 by placing the fifth of the chord in the LH on beat 1.5.

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[Rubikium]

Updated Files (ver04)

Comment:

- Small thing, but personally I would remove the accent on the m49 RH chord since it implies that that chord is played more forcefully than the chords before it, which isn't really the case—it's a smoothly moving phrase with constant volume, not with it suddenly becoming more forceful as it reaches the last note.

I add the accent in m.49 to make the playback volume of R.H remain roughly the same around the p dynamic. I have removed it in the file but the playback could still be adjusted to intended.

[mastersuperfan]

Updated Files (ver04)

Comment:I add the accent in m.49 to make the playback volume of R.H remain roughly the same around the p dynamic. I have removed it in the file but the playback could still be adjusted to intended.

I added a hidden accent to that note so it'll adjust playback but won't show up on the PDF. Accepted!

EDIT: Also added a slur to the pickup note on the very last beat of the sheet, before the repeat sign. Files are in the folder.

[McDucky]

McDucky - Alchemy Pot

- Looks good, I'd just flatten the tie in m7-8, it's a little too round compared to the other ties.

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Done. There was a reason for it, but not anymore.

[Static]

Done. There was a reason for it, but not anymore.

I shall accept then...

And with that, we're done here!