[PC] Cave Story (Doukutsu Monogatari) - "Safety" by Olimar12345

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Cave Story (Doukutsu Monogatari)
Console: PC
Title: Safety
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Olimar12345

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Olimar12345]

[Olimar12345]

Bump for safe keeping

[Sebastian]

Notes look good. Everything looks good.
Only thing I could possibly think of is to add courtesy accidentals to the D# in M. 4 (RH) and D#s in M. 16 (both hands).
Great work with this one!

[Olimar12345]

Added.

[mastersuperfan]

I think you could use some more articulations in here, notably to indicate note duration that doesn't seem to be specified. For example, some of the right hand quarter notes for the most part fade out after the duration of an eighth note. I say "for the most part" because I recognize that it's still there faintly, which I assume is why you notated them as quarter notes, but they have a distinct sound that differs from the other quarter notes that I feel isn't captured in the constant use of quarter notes in the right hand you have now. My suggestion would be to make those notes portato (specifically the tenuto + staccato notation, since I've seen it multiple ways) so that they're not super short or abrupt-sounding but still have the detached feel that the original gives.

I'm specifically referring to the following quarter notes:

• The first two beats of m3-5
• The first three beats of m6
• The first two beats of m7
• The first two beats of m9-11
• The third beat only in m12
• The first two beats of m13-14
• The first three beats of m15

The nature of these notes also happens to be the same for the eighth notes on beats 3 and 4 of m21, all beats in m24, and beats 1 and 2 of m28. I would recommend notating both sets of notes the same way to be consistent, such as by the portato articulations that I mentioned above. (Unless you have a reason for leaving them as eighth notes here, such as to simplify the sheet by keeping note durations the same between the two hands, which I could totally understand.)

The eighth notes on beats 1 and 2 (the C#'s) in the right hand of m18 are in sore need of staccato articulations, I feel (or some other notation to indicate detachment). The same goes for the E's on beats 1 and 2 of m20 and m27, as well as beats 3 (A) and 4 (B-F#) of m26. (To a lesser extent, I'm hearing a similar effect with the very first note in m19, but I'm not sure if that's enough to warrant a staccato, and the slur beginning on the next note already conveys that it's detached from the following melody. The other notes I pointed out, though, currently have no such indication that they're any less detached than the notes around them.)

I'm also having a difficult time hearing the two B's on beat 3 of m19 as two separate notes in the original. At normal speed I can maybe try to imagine it being there but when I slow it down it's definitely not there; the pitch is continuous across the whole beat without a break. If you had a MIDI rip from the game or something else of the sort that shows that this rhythm is indeed the case but simply obscured by the soundfont, then I would be okay leaving it as is, but I can only hear it as a single quarter note as it stands.

One last question, moreso out of curiosity than critique: is there a need for the two measures' worth of rest at the beginning? Although it's accurate to the original, if that space isn't going to be filled with some imitation of the percussion then I'm not sure I understand why it would be needed; after all, a pianist performing the sheet likely wouldn't wait for two measures in silence before starting the piece. If you have a valid reason for it then I'd understand, but I'm just a little confused as to what it would do to help the sheet for a performer.

EDIT: Oh, one last thing I forgot to mention: the tempo should be 91 BPM, not 90 (nitpicky, I know).

[Olimar12345]

I think you could use some more articulations in here, notably to indicate note duration that doesn't seem to be specified. For example, some of the right hand quarter notes for the most part fade out after the duration of an eighth note. I say "for the most part" because I recognize that it's still there faintly, which I assume is why you notated them as quarter notes, but they have a distinct sound that differs from the other quarter notes that I feel isn't captured in the constant use of quarter notes in the right hand you have now. My suggestion would be to make those notes portato (specifically the tenuto + staccato notation, since I've seen it multiple ways) so that they're not super short or abrupt-sounding but still have the detached feel that the original gives.

I'm specifically referring to the following quarter notes:

• The first two beats of m3-5
• The first three beats of m6
• The first two beats of m7
• The first two beats of m9-11
• The third beat only in m12
• The first two beats of m13-14
• The first three beats of m15

The nature of these notes also happens to be the same for the eighth notes on beats 3 and 4 of m21, all beats in m24, and beats 1 and 2 of m28. I would recommend notating both sets of notes the same way to be consistent, such as by the portato articulations that I mentioned above. (Unless you have a reason for leaving them as eighth notes here, such as to simplify the sheet by keeping note durations the same between the two hands, which I could totally understand.)

These articulations are unnecessary, as they do not accurately describe what you're hearing. Like I have mentioned in the past, I was able to boot up the ORG files used in the game to check things like this. What you're most likely hearing is the bass drum sound combined with the bass voice, which are both shorter notes values in these instances. If I muted those two voices, the melody plays exactly how I have notated it, connected and not awkwardly stressed for half of some note values. (the exception to this is measure 28 which, yes, was done to unify the two hands).

The eighth notes on beats 1 and 2 (the C#'s) in the right hand of m18 are in sore need of staccato articulations, I feel (or some other notation to indicate detachment). The same goes for the E's on beats 1 and 2 of m20 and m27, as well as beats 3 (A) and 4 (B-F#) of m26. (To a lesser extent, I'm hearing a similar effect with the very first note in m19, but I'm not sure if that's enough to warrant a staccato, and the slur beginning on the next note already conveys that it's detached from the following melody. The other notes I pointed out, though, currently have no such indication that they're any less detached than the notes around them.)

Yeah, I could see something like that there. The ORG doesn't indicate any change in these spots, which is weird because it does sound different. I wonder if it is another voice causing the sound? At any rate I'll add these in.

I'm also having a difficult time hearing the two B's on beat 3 of m19 as two separate notes in the original. At normal speed I can maybe try to imagine it being there but when I slow it down it's definitely not there; the pitch is continuous across the whole beat without a break. If you had a MIDI rip from the game or something else of the sort that shows that this rhythm is indeed the case but simply obscured by the soundfont, then I would be okay leaving it as is, but I can only hear it as a single quarter note as it stands.

After rebut-ing the ORG back up, you're right. I've changed this to match the original.

One last question, moreso out of curiosity than critique: is there a need for the two measures' worth of rest at the beginning? Although it's accurate to the original, if that space isn't going to be filled with some imitation of the percussion then I'm not sure I understand why it would be needed; after all, a pianist performing the sheet likely wouldn't wait for two measures in silence before starting the piece. If you have a valid reason for it then I'd understand, but I'm just a little confused as to what it would do to help the sheet for a performer.

I usually include a little note that says "Percussion break" or something, which I thought I did here too. How would you feel about that? This is just there to inform the pianist that there is an introduction in the original in case the performer would like to arrange something of their own, or something.

EDIT: Oh, one last thing I forgot to mention: the tempo should be 91 BPM, not 90 (nitpicky, I know).

I'm aware. I always round my tempo marks to the nearest even increment, as is standard practice due to the way metronomes have functioned historically.

Files updated.

[mastersuperfan]

These articulations are unnecessary, as they do not accurately describe what you're hearing. Like I have mentioned in the past, I was able to boot up the ORG files used in the game to check things like this. What you're most likely hearing is the bass drum sound combined with the bass voice, which are both shorter notes values in these instances. If I muted those two voices, the melody plays exactly how I have notated it, connected and not awkwardly stressed for half of some note values. (the exception to this is measure 28 which, yes, was done to unify the two hands).

Hmm, I'm going back and it still sounds like it to me, but if you've verified with the file itself then you might as well leave them out. (I am a little puzzled as to why I'm hearing it on some notes and not others, though, if they're all the same...)

I usually include a little note that says "Percussion break" or something, which I thought I did here too. How would you feel about that? This is just there to inform the pianist that there is an introduction in the original in case the performer would like to arrange something of their own, or something.

Yeah, that makes sense. With the added notation I think it's more clear now.

I'm aware. I always round my tempo marks to the nearest even increment, as is standard practice due to the way metronomes have functioned historically.

Not that this is a big deal or anything, but if memory serves then many of the metronomes that I've seen jump from 88 BPM to 92 BPM, so in that case wouldn't it be better to round it to 92 instead of 90?

EDIT: And one more question (again, moreso out of curiosity than critique, since I assume you know what you're doing): is there a reason for using the D.S. instead of a repeat sign?

[Olimar12345]

Not that this is a big deal or anything, but if memory serves then many of the metronomes that I've seen jump from 88 BPM to 92 BPM, so in that case wouldn't it be better to round it to 92 instead of 90?

I'd rather go down than up in this piece.

And one more question (again, moreso out of curiosity than critique, since I assume you know what you're doing): is there a reason for using the D.S. instead of a repeat sign?

They both tell the performer to do the same thing. Through my experience repeat bars tend to be used for smaller sections, while D.C.'s and D.S.'s are used more for larger jumps. Da capo literally means to return to the beginning, so in those instances its use actually tells the player more than a repeat bar would.

[Sebastian]

Awesome.

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Sebastian.

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