Yugi's Compositions.

Started by Yugi, April 07, 2013, 12:01:11 AM

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Yugi


Ricky

Hey, is it your first composition?

Either way, I got a few things to point out. I will be honest, I didn't like it. The thing is that it's too repetitive and with not much content in it. Yes I know it's supposed to be a minimalistic piece (according to the file). Minimalistic pieces usually have a more trancy mood if you know what I mean. The accompaniment could be more lively like a slowly moving arpeggio for instance. The chords don't sound so good when repeated too often. Maybe try to use chord inversions to mix it up. What about dynamics? I can give a few specific comments of what is good and what could be improved:


- Bars 7-8 and 8-9 are good, the repetition makes it sound good.
- At bars 11-12 I think you could skip one of the bars. Basically have bar 11 lead to bar 13.
- The transition from bar 14 to 15 could be smoother.
- While bar 17 makes sense in the context of bar 18 I don't think it makes much sense as the bar after bar 16.
- Bars 29 to 31 are good in a sense that they are a variation of bars 15 to 16 but could be made to sound more similar.
- At bar 32 I believe it would sound better if the octave C and octave D would be placed one beat earlier.
- Bars 34-37 could be either shortened down or spiced up (i.e. inversions, arpeggios, maybe more progressions)
- Bars 38 to 39 could be repeated once instead of two times like it is now.
- Same applies to bars 44 to 45.
- I like the recap of the theme at bars 46 onwards.
- The last bar could be made more interesting as right now it seems like it leads to another section and it's supposed to be an ending I assume, so spice it up, maybe make a long chord or end with an arpeggio leading to a long chord.


Of course this is what I think, you are the composer and it's ofc your judgement to make whether you want it like it is or want to change something. Maybe others will disagree with me and have other opinions about it.

JDMEK5

It's kinda weird telling a composer what key his song is in, but your song here is actually in D minor. You may want to write it as such.
"Today's goal strongly involves not dying. Because nobody likes to wake up dead."

My Arrangements
Finale Version(s): Finale Notepad 2012, Finale 2012, Finale v26

Ricky

I agree with JDMEK5, the current key signature would make sense for D Dorian but since there are Bb instead of B it makes more sense to put the D aoelian (natural minor) key signature.