[SNES] Star Fox - "Venom Base (Level 1 & 3)" by Fantastic Ike

Started by Zeta, April 08, 2023, 07:10:29 AM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Star Fox
Game: Star Fox
Console: Super Nintendo Entertainment System
Title: Venom Base (Level 1 & 3)
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Fantastic Ike

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Fantastic Ike

#1
Figured I'd submit a sheet for Nine Lives' project. The runs are a pain but I don't think anything else should be super difficult to go over


Kricketune54

Format
• Page 1 seems a bit tight. You could move the 5th system to the next page.
• Small, but I counted this as having a tempo of 161 instead of 160
• Something is slightly messed up with the spacing in your pdf, not sure what happened but notice how things are bunched up in m1-2 like the accidentals. Just make sure your updated file isn't like that.
• The 8va for the LH in m5 could also go leftward a bit because currently it's a little unclear if beat 1.0 should be considered down or not.


Notes
• m1 RH bottom layer G should be an An, beat 2.5 bottom layer F# should be a G#, beat 4.0 a Gn
• m2 RH bottom layer G should be an En, beat 2.5 bottom layer D# should be a G#, beat 4.0 a Dn
Just a funny aside on these measures the above notes you had originally are in the SSB Melee "Corneria" track

• m3 RH the Eb should be a D# and m4 RH Db's should be C#'s
• m4 LH upper layers beat 3 the C sounds like a Dn and the Db sounds like a D# on beat 4.

• m5 beat 1... is a bit much as far as jumps. I think for the RH you could move beat 1 at minimum up 1 octave. For the LH, I would suggest either moving the low notes on beat 1.5 and 2.0 for example up an octave, or moving the notes on beat 1.0 and 2.5 down 2 octaves. After making some changes here, you could also reduce the width of this system; maybe then 5 systems on page 1 would work out


• m8 RH beat 1 is Ab not G
• m9, m11 and similar RH beat 4.5 and 4.75 (also m12 beat 1.0 and 1.25). I'm not hearing this pattern turn into 16th's on this part of beat 4 like it is in the LH; it sounds like just the percussion does this and no actual notes.
• m10 LH and elsewhere, beat 1.0 and 1.25 these drum 16th's sound more like Eb than En. With this you also don't need to have the accidental parentheses on beat 3.
• m12 RH I'm not hearing the lower Db's on  beat 1.5, 3.0, and 4.0.  Removing them also makes that jump from the lower Ab easier.
• m13 RH beat 1 the lower Bb is actually a Cn
• m14 RH beat 1 is Ab not G. I would consider raising the Ab's up an octave here because this is another tough jump to make
• m14 RH this chord on 1.5 and 3.0 are going to be tough to do as is, but I also don't hear the F at the bottom, and the Abs should be
Gn's. Same also goes for the triplet on beat 4.
• m14 beat 4 RH should have staccatos as well
• m15-18 RH the Db should be a C#

• m15-18 LH in general anytime you're quickly switching pitches between 8th notes covering three octaves at this high a tempo is going to be very difficult as far as not having your LH ending up resembling a flopping salmon attempting to bound upstream over logs. I would remove the lower octave notes on beat 1.0 and beat 4.0 in m15 for example, and elsewhere applicable throughout this section.  Yes, it won't sound quite as meaty, but it will be playable.

• m18 LH beat 1 is Ab not G.
• m20 LH beat 4.5 and 4.75 sound like D's not F#

Fantastic Ike

QuotePage 1 seems a bit tight. You could move the 5th system to the next page.

Guess I never changed the original MUS/PDF files. Had already fixed the spacing lol.

QuoteJust a funny aside on these measures the above notes you had originally are in the SSB Melee "Corneria" track

That's why I arranged in the first place, haha. Iconic track

Fixed the stuff you said, plus made a couple extra changes (m5 RH less jumping around, made the hits on m8 and etc more uniform, less jumping on m15 bassline)

Kricketune54

This is looking pretty tight, nice job with m5. Just a few more things:

• m1 RH beat 4.5 sounds like C# instead of Eb
• m3 beat 3.0 sounds like an F# restrike (3.5 is still good as Fn tho). beat 4.5 sounds like an Ab/G#
• I'm hearing in m6 LH a note on beat 4.5, sounds like a D (the lower octave) is restruck as opposed to a quarter note
• m10, 12, 14 LH these Eb 16th's are hard to make up to the Bb. I would suggest making it a staccato 8th note, or maybe just putting a paranthese around the second 16th to indicate it's somewhat optional (given the difficulty)
• m19 and m20 beat 1 maybe you could add a staccato in the RH, as this beat is slightly shorter than beat 2

Fantastic Ike


Kricketune54

One thing I think I missed last round, but unless you're trying to keep things consistent with m12, you could still keep the Ab's under all the beats in RH m8 and m10. They're not challenging to play with the F and Bb.

I'm not going to make that a conditional thing though, approving :)

Fantastic Ike

QuoteOne thing I think I missed last round, but unless you're trying to keep things consistent with m12, you could still keep the Ab's under all the beats in RH m8 and m10. They're not challenging to play with the F and Bb.

Yeah, I figured. I just wanted to make the textures consistent. Thanks!

XiaoMigros

Nice work on this!

  • The first four measures aren't playable at this speed, and will need rewriting. I understand wanting to include the string runs for extra motion, but I feel like the brass hits (which are much louder) should be more in the foreground. I would either leave the strings out entirely, or go for a hybrid solution along these lines:
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    please excuse Finale's horizontal spacing
    By leaving the brass hits as accented eighth notes, it not only gives them a little extra emphasis but would allow enough time for readjusting hand positions where needed.
    I also made some minor note corrections to this section, as seen in the image above.
    Lastly for this section, is there a reason that beats 3-4 in m4 of the brass hits are quarter notes, and in m2 they are eighths followed by rests? I can't hear a noticeable difference between the durations, so I think writing them all as eighths would be best.
  • For m5-6, I think it's important to include the difference between the two measures in pitch as well as volume, rather than writing two near identical measures. Here's an idea I came up with that gives the RH enough time to jump back down from m4: (this is the last image in this post i promise)
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    I also added slurs to the LH to give it some shape. Feel free to use this or come up with your own solution!
  • Up until m14, I don't hear a difference between the note lengths of the octaved notes in the LH. I think you can fill the space more, and write them as long as half notes (where there's space).
  • For m10 and similar, I'd suggest moving the Eb at beat 1.25 (LH) up an octave, rather than adding parentheses.
  • m14 beat 4.66 in the LH I think should be D instead of Bb. You might want to remove the octaves for this part to make it easier to play.
  • m16 and m18 beat 1 LH I think are still G. For this section, you could add slurs and accents to distinguish between timpani and guitar fill (similarly to what I showed you for m5-6)
  • m19-20: The LH part should be moved up an octave from beat 2 onwards, to follow the original track. For m20 in the RH, your use of courtesy accidentals should be consistent: Either add one to the G on beat 1, or remove the one from the C.
  • Lastly, one point to take away: Consecutive 16th notes. They make this sheet significantly harder to play, with not much added benefit. I'm happy accepting this once my other comments have been worked through, but if you could find the time to look for other ways to arrange these parts I'm sure many future players would be thankful. Let me know if you want any assistance with that :D

Fantastic Ike


XiaoMigros

Almost! Just a few more commenst on the first four measures:
  • I think both RH layers should only share noteheads if the string runs and brass hits are actually playing the same pitch, so removing some of the string notes would be cool!
  • Also, the accents should be on the stem side of the brass hits, so it's clear which layer they affect. For this reason you might want to consider exchanging layers 1 and 2, to avoid accents colliding in m3 and 4 (Also it's nicer to have louder voice on top here)
  • Lastly, just a reminder to not forget to readjust tempo marking in the event of the layout changing a lot, mine was floating up way too high after testing some edits..

Fantastic Ike


XiaoMigros


Zeta

This submission has been accepted by XiaoMigros.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot