[3DS] Kid Icarus: Uprising - "In the Space Pirate Ship" by Cashwarrior1

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Kid Icarus
Game: Kid Icarus: Uprising
Console: Nintendo 3DS
Title: In the Space Pirate Ship
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Cashwarrior1

[attachment deleted by admin]

[cashwarrior1]

[Bloop]

Great sheet! I remember this being submitted before last year, but they didn't get around to responding on my feedback :p This one is in much better shape already though!

-I think this would be better in F minor (the Bb acts as a major IV chord, dorian mode and all that). There are enough C major chords to act as V chord too.
-m6: I hear a high Bb in the trumpet, which might be worth focusing on in this chord. Maybe you could voice it like Bb-Eb-F-Bb? (there would be room for a C in-between, but it does make for a pretty stretchy chord)
-m15 and 62: You can flip the position of the staccato dot in the R.H. on beat 4.
-m16-19: I hear the trumpet melody from m16 beat 4 up an octave. Also, maybe you could add some octaves below the L.H. to imitate some of the bass hits in this part?
-m24-25, 28-29 and m50: Maybe you could delete the lower octave of the sixteenth notes which are before big leaps, for playability.
-m51: The R.H. octave on beat 1 can't be held while playing the chords on beats 2-3, maybe you could change the octave to a quarter note and just let the R.H. play as is?
-m53: Same thing about the start being in F minor, this section would be better in G minor.
-m55: I think for playability I'd rather have this L.H. be an octave down and played with alternative octaves, than have it in the same octave with repeated notes.
-m63-66: Same comment about adding bass octaves like in m16-19
-m70-74: Maybe you could switch the higher and lower octaves of the L.H. bass here, I find alternating low and high notes a bit more easy to play than high and low, and they have pretty much the same effect.
-m74 beat 4: Same thing about the playability in m24-255 and m28-29

[Kricketune54]

Was a bit delayed in finishing some feedback so Bloop beat me to the punch  , I don't believe there's any crossover in our feedback though so that's good 

- Same bit about Sora in the credits as your other sub
- Missing slurs on grace notes
- m6 RH flip the tie on the E (if keeping chord as is and not doing what Bloop recommends, which I also endorse lol)
- m48 system you could make this a bit wider so the cresc. doesn't go through the stem in m50

Notes
- m8, m12, 16, m55 and similar RH beats 1 and 3 this portion of the melody has space after each note (which don't sound like the full quarter value). You could add dotted tenutos or accents
- m18 RH beat 3 I hear a D in the middle as opposed to F
- m20 RH beat 1 you could add a tenuto since that french horn plays beyond beat 1
- m34 RH the trill seems very tough to play. I would suggest removing the bottom C to make it so you're not floundering with your 5th finger to play the trill
- m37 RH F doesn't fit well with this minor chord, perhaps make it E?
- m38 RH I think you could add the E into that half note chord next to the Db
- m45 beat 2 and 3 could add slurs in both hands
- m49 LH beat 2 this is a G minor chord, I'd add the string Bb next to the trumpet C. I'm also not hearing the E here, or the F in the beat 4 Ab chord, though I think you should keep the F on beat 4 to fill out the chord.
- m50 LH you could make this a tremolo between 2 D's, as there is some of that going on in strings the original

[cashwarrior1]

-m6: I hear a high Bb in the trumpet, which might be worth focusing on in this chord. Maybe you could voice it like Bb-Eb-F-Bb? (there would be room for a C in-between, but it does make for a pretty stretchy chord)

I'll just omit the C since it's being played in the bass

-m55: I think for playability I'd rather have this L.H. be an octave down and played with alternative octaves, than have it in the same octave with repeated notes.

oh whoops, i forgot to change that measure lol. Did you want all of that sixteenth note part down an octave? that's what i went ahead and did.

- m49 LH beat 2 this is a G minor chord, I'd add the string Bb next to the trumpet C. I'm also not hearing the E here, or the F in the beat 4 Ab chord, though I think you should keep the F on beat 4 to fill out the chord.

I'm a little confused about this? I changed the chord to a G minor but I'm not sure what you mean by the Bb next to the C?

Updated.

[Kricketune54]

I'm a little confused about this? I changed the chord to a G minor but I'm not sure what you mean by the Bb next to the C?

Sorry for the confusion, I am hearing the strings playing G minor chord, while a trumpet C is also present. I felt that not having the Bb here doesn't demonstrate the full chord if excluded, so I guess add the C back if you want the full breadth of notes, but don't remove the Bb

- m26 RH beat 1-2.0 you could potentially add the C in between the Eb's to complete the Ab-Bb-C (m25 beat 1, 3, and beat 1 m26) horn line between m25-26 - but it might make beats 2.5 and 2.75 a little too difficult in m26.
- m64 RH beat 3 hearing a G and beat 4 hearing an F in these chords but I think these are technically the top part of the LH the way you've arranged?
- m74 RH second-from-top notes, beat 2 this sounds like a Bb instead of A, and on beat 3 hearing A instead of G
- m75-76 I think this chord works better written for Bb minor, so the C#'s should be Db's.

I think that's all I've got. Very cool piece, nice job arranging.

[cashwarrior1]

Sorry for the confusion, I am hearing the strings playing G minor chord, while a trumpet C is also present. I felt that not having the Bb here doesn't demonstrate the full chord if excluded, so I guess add the C back if you want the full breadth of notes, but don't remove the Bb

ohh okay, that makes more sense lol.

- m26 RH beat 1-2.0 you could potentially add the C in between the Eb's to complete the Ab-Bb-C (m25 beat 1, 3, and beat 1 m26) horn line between m25-26 - but it might make beats 2.5 and 2.75 a little too difficult in m26.

I don't think it makes it more difficult

- m64 RH beat 3 hearing a G and beat 4 hearing an F in these chords but I think these are technically the top part of the LH the way you've arranged?

Nah I just didn't hear that originally lol

- m75-76 I think this chord works better written for Bb minor, so the C#'s should be Db's.

Oops, I forgot to check after I changed the key 😳

Updated.

[Kricketune54]

Cool, Approved

[Bloop]

Just some tiny things before I accept:
-m52: I think I put the wrong measure number in my feedback, but I think the modulation would work better at m55: The bars before are still modulating to G minor, and it first hits G minor at m55.
-m62: The L.H. and R.H. rests in beat 3.5 and 4 should be one step lower, so they fall in the stave spaces instead of the stave lines.

[cashwarrior1]

Updated!

[Bloop]

Great!
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[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Bloop.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot