[3DS] Shin Megami Tensei IV - "Battle - b2" by Static

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Megami Tensei/Persona
Game: Shin Megami Tensei IV
Console: Nintendo 3DS
Title: Battle - b2
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Static

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Static]

Title/composer info from here

[Dekkadeci]

Just a couple of things:

• Might have been the laptop speakers I listened to the original through, but I hear a (tubular) bells part as the melody in Bars 9-15, and that part is generally a perfect fifth above the existing melody (except for your existing melody F's).
• I'm hearing B flats in the melody of the original where rests are in your right hand in Bars 61-72.

I'm also wondering whether setting the tempo to half of what you set it to, halving all the note lengths, and keeping it in 4/4 time would be the better idea. I generally feel the tempo of this theme, especially the quieter sections, as half of what you have.

[Static]

I hear the 5th voice too, but to me it sounded more like an overtone; the pitches I have sound like the main pitch of the tubular bells, or at the very least they sound much more prominent to me. I could add both voices, but I think that would be a bit awkward to play at this tempo. I added the Bbs in m61+ though.

For the tempo, that could work, but I feel this as a fast rock piece, so a fast 4/4 makes more sense to me. It's more of a stylistic thing, like I wouldn't write swing or bebop music with 16ths at a slow tempo - it's almost always written with 8ths but counted in a fast 4 or in cut time. The intro and 3rd page of this piece could be felt in cut time as well, but I don't see that as a reason to change the time signature.

[Libera]

Looks pretty good.  A few things:

-I agree with Dekka about the melody in bars 9-16.  I didn't even notice the lower part until I came back to the thread and saw your comment about it.  It sounds much more prominent to me and doesn't come across as an overtone.  You can also see that it mirrors this melody again at the end of the piece, where you wrote it in as this.  You could do something similar to what you did there where you only use dyads occasionally so that it relatively easy to play while keeping the harmony, if you want.  (I should say though that the melody doesn't sound like its exactly a fifth up, or maybe I just disagree on some of the pitches you've written in.  It's actually a little difficult for me to make out this lower voice compared to the upper one...)
-I hear the rhythm of the solo in bar 45 a little differently.  To me it sounds like two F quarters on beats 1-2 and then the C on beat 3.
-Maybe the effect going into bar 57 might be a bit stronger if we went to mp over mf?  I think the difference in the original is stark enough to warrant that, especially when the left hand pattern is still quite driving here, so the contrast may need a little help in coming across.

[Static]

I think I'm starting to hear that upper voice more clearly now... the lower one still sounds more prominent to me but I think the parallels between that section and m57 make it clear that the top voice is the actual melody. It sounds like it's all harmonized in 5ths. m12/16 beat 3.5 was also changed from Eb-Bb to Ab-Eb (although I only kept the top note there).

For m45, I don't hear the rearticulation on beat 2, but the C does sound like it's on beat 3 so I changed that and also added a trill to m42. Changed m57 as well.

[Libera]

Looks great!  Approved.

[Latios212]

This is a cool piece... I need to listen to more SMT stuff haha

- I'm not sure, but I feel like the bass goes up to Db instead of down to Ab in m. 18 beat 3 (and the measures directly below it in the next few systems). Also maybe in m. 20/28? And is there any difference between those parts where you've written in the fifths of the bass to make dyads or not?
- I feel you can move things around a bit to give the chords above m. 41-43 move space, by decreasing the space between staves or something
- The D.S. seems a bit low

[Static]

- I'm not sure, but I feel like the bass goes up to Db instead of down to Ab in m. 18 beat 3 (and the measures directly below it in the next few systems). Also maybe in m. 20/28? And is there any difference between those parts where you've written in the fifths of the bass to make dyads or not?

I am still hearing Ab as the bass voice in those measures, although I do kind of hear a Db somewhere in there when raising it up an octave... I'm not sure though, and in the normal octave I hear Ab more clearly and no Db.

Everything else has been fixed, along with a few other formatting adjustments (particularly regarding the pedal markings)

[Latios212]

Cool. And nice job getting those pedal markings sorted out everywhere... that's a lot of work :3

Nothing else from me, let's go!

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot