[PC] Symphonic Rain - "Fay (Instrumental)" by Latios212

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Symphonic Rain
Console: PC
Title: Fay (Instrumental)
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Latios212

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[attachment deleted by admin]

[Latios212]

This is the instrumental version of this vocal song from the game. I think this version carries over to piano a little easier than the vocal version.

[Static]

• m12/28/40/46/50 LH beats 1-2: Sounds more like Dsus4 to me than D.
• m23 RH: The last 16th note sounds like it shouldn't be tied (it should be D-G still). It doesn't go to F# until beat 3.
• m33 LH beats 3-4: This sounds like Em/G instead of G.
• m34 LH: This chord resolves on beat 4-4.5
• Is there a reason why the melody is not tied across places like m39/41/etc. beats 1-2? It's tied on page 1, and it sounds like it should be in the original.
• I'm assuming you left out some of the extra notes in m56/60 because it's lowered an octave compared with the original.

[Latios212]

m23 RH: The last 16th note sounds like it shouldn't be tied (it should be D-G still). It doesn't go to F# until beat 3.

That sounds... really odd to me on piano. This is one of only a couple of places in the song where there are vocal harmonies above the main melody but I think adding that additional movement between beats 2.75-3 would detract from the melody too much, so I'd like to keep this as is.

I'm assuming you left out some of the extra notes in m56/60 because it's lowered an octave compared with the original.

Yeah, I kept this part lowered to match the accompaniment in the surrounding measures and I think it'd sound too heavy with additional harmonies

Thanks for looking! I updated the files with the rest of the points

[Static]

Nice, looks good

[mastersuperfan]

- I'm getting 81 instead of 80 for the tempo.
- As much as I appreciate the tempo expression, I don't think it makes much sense as a performance direction. When I think "Angelically," I think of something like a hymn, which this is not. Something like "Cheerfully" or "Carefreely" (is that even a word?) would be more appropriate here, I think.
- Dynamics in m1 and m10 should be moved a bit more to the right to be centered with the notehead (you can have Finale position it automatically by editing the dynamic and going to Positioning > Uncheck "Use Dynamics Category Position" and select Horizontal Alignment: Center of Primary Notehead).
- Any reason why m14-15 RH jumps up an octave from m11-13?
- "senza pedale" in m15? You have another "con pedale" in m19 but no "senza pedale" between that and m3.
- m18 LH beats 1-2 sound more like D major to me than Dsus4.
- You could add an A on m22 RH beat 3 in place of the 16th rest, since that line does that.
- In a similar vein, you could add a D on m25 RH beat 3 and another D on beat 4.5.
- You might consider adding an A above the D on m26 LH beat 4.5, although it doesn't make much of a difference anyway.
m34 RH beat 4 sounds like two 16ths instead of one 8th.
- On m36 LH beats 1-2, the chord sounds like F-B-D instead of F-A-D.
- In m51, the rit. should be a little more to the right.
- I think it would be better if the rit. in m51 and the a tempo in m53 were positioned similarly (i.e. either both above the staff, or both between the staves, in which case the "a tempo" could just be to the right of the dynamic).
- I feel like there should really be a low G on beat 3 of the last measure—maybe instead of G-B in the LH, do a G-G octave? Right now the ending feels... unsatisfying.

[Latios212]

I got everything not mentioned below unless I missed any by accident!

- Any reason why m14-15 RH jumps up an octave from m11-13?

It sounds higher to me?

- "senza pedale" in m15? You have another "con pedale" in m19 but no "senza pedale" between that and m3.

Ooh yeah I think that's left over from when I was figuring out what I wanted to do with 15-18. I think I'll just remove it, since I want to pedal through that section except where it's marked with staccatos/rests

- You could add an A on m22 RH beat 3 in place of the 16th rest, since that line does that.
- In a similar vein, you could add a D on m25 RH beat 3 and another D on beat 4.5.

I don't really think I want to, since I wanted to match the accompaniment in other parts and I think it takes focus away from the main melody which is also in that range.

- You might consider adding an A above the D on m26 LH beat 4.5, although it doesn't make much of a difference anyway.

I think that makes it sound maybe a bit too bottom heavy leading into the next section, so I think I'll skip it

- I feel like there should really be a low G on beat 3 of the last measure—maybe instead of G-B in the LH, do a G-G octave? Right now the ending feels... unsatisfying.

On the contrary... I remember playing around with the chord voicings for these last couple measures before coming up with what I have here. Specifically for the last chord I wanted to give it a light sound to focus on the vocals. Plus the bottom note moves up from D to G between the last two notes.

Thank you for your help on this one - this piece is really special to me and even more than usual I wanted to make sure everything's all ironed out.

[mastersuperfan]

It sounds higher to me?

Oh, I see... there's a lower octave that you transcribed.

Last things:
- rit. in m51 is still a little far left, the left edge of the rit. should be aligned with the RH stem
- Extend the crescendo in m52 a little more?
- Do you want to reintroduce pedal in the playback at m39?

[Latios212]

- rit. in m51 is still a little far left, the left edge of the rit. should be aligned with the RH stem

I don't think so... that's too far to the right
You cannot view this attachment.
I moved it right just a couple of clicks though I really think it was fine where it was

- Extend the crescendo in m52 a little more?

Did you mean the dim.? Actually looking at this part again I'll move the mp to the middle of 52 instead of the beginning of 53.

- Do you want to reintroduce pedal in the playback at m39?

Yeah sure.

Files updated~

[mastersuperfan]

Accepting!

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by mastersuperfan.

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