[NDS] Pokémon Black Version 2 & Pokémon White Version 2 - "Virbank City" by Latios212

[Latios212]

- I don't hear a C in the chord on m4 beat 3.5... I guess the C sounds cool though. oh yeah... I think it's not there, removed
- Maybe consider a Db instead of D for the last note in m4 RH? I like Db better since it descends chromatically to the C in the next chord, whereas the D doesn't resolve cleanly. sounds good
- m6 RH beat 3.5 should be a Bb instead of a C. Oops
- For m9, maybe use F# for the bottom notes in the RH Layer 2 beat 4 chords? I hear a voice playing those F#'s, but I don't hear a G anywhere except in the bass. Sure sounds good
- I don't think the first two chords in m10 RH have D's in them. removed 'em
- For the chord at the end of m11, I hear En instead of F. (And in this case, maybe the Db should be written as C# because it's an A major chord? Looks weird with the next measure following, though...) I dunno, that minor ninth sounds pretty odd to me and is slightly more awkward to play... I hear more of an augmented sound rather than A major
- Maybe write m13 RH Layer 2 beat 4 as a staccato quarter since that's how the LH is written there? I think I'd slightly prefer to keep this as is to parallel m. 11 and also to draw more attention to the difference between the upper and lower layer on beat 4 here (i.e. not staccato-ing the whole chord)
- In m14 LH, I would write those grace notes instead as eighth notes on the last triplet beat, since they have a pretty defined rhythm. Idk, it may line up but it feels pretty weird to me written in time since its chromatic nature implies it's more of an embellishment rather than a part of the rhythm.
- I hear the first two chords in m15 and m17 RH as a G-Bn-D-F. Sounds good, changed (also changed the Cb in 14 to Bn)
- m17 LH beat 4 should be G instead of Bb. yep
- m19 RH beat 2.5 has an Ab below the C. oh that sounds much better thank you
- I'm not hearing a C in the last chord in m19 RH... it sounds like a Bb7 chord under the Eb melody, but changing the C to a D creates a sharp dissonance in the RH, so I'd suggest just omitting it entirely. (I do hear a C at the very beginning of the chord, but it quickly slides to a D; I think it's just an ornament.) agreed
- For m20 RH beat 3, I hear the bottom note as an Ab instead of a Bb. I do hear a Bb, but it's a holdover from the chord on beat 4 of m19, whereas I hear the Ab articulated along with the F and C on m20 beat 3. sounds good
- The last two chords in m20 RH and the Layer 1 chord in m21 RH are piano dyads + underlying guitar(?) chords. For the last two chords in m20, it looks like you've filled the chord using the guitar harmony, so I would suggest either doing the same in m21 (adding a G to the chord) for consistency, or making them all dyads. Added a G to m. 21 b1
- For m21 LH beat 3.5, maybe consider a G instead of a Bb since the slide reaches the low notes pretty quickly? Eh, I chose the Bb (fifth) since the G would make it way more muddy that low (especially with implied pedal)
- For m23 RH beat 1, I'm not hearing an Ab in the chord... but I do hear the D doubled by another voice. My suggestion would be to write the RH chord as F-C-D-G; since it's all white keys without the Ab, it's much easier to play the F an octave lower, which prevents it from being so close to the melody. I'm pretty sure there's an Ab in there somewhere, it sounds like a D7b5. That said, what you suggested sounds just fine, is easier to play, and there's Ab in the next chord so I'll take it
- On a similar note, I wouldn't double the Ab on beat 2.5... I still don't hear it as part of the underlying chord here; it seems to be exclusive to the melody. I'll put in a C instead
- I don't think I hear a D in the chord at the end of m23... I guess it sounds fine though. I do hear a Bn, but it doesn't sound great on piano, even an octave down. So I dunno. Either works for me, I think the D sounds fine as the fifth of the G and is easier to play so I left it
- You could add a low C on m25 LH beat 2 to mimic the slide down and up. Super low, but that works
- For Layer 2, m26 has the same chord progression as m25 (i.e. Eb major for the first two chords). In both measures, however, the piano plays a dyad with C at the bottom (C-G in m25 and C-F# in m26; also C-F in m27). So fitting these together is weird. I also don't really like how the countermelody is obscured by having chord notes above it. Maybe something like this would work:

Yeah... sounds good!
- Not too fond of doubling the F on m27 beat 1 since, again, it feels more melodic than harmonic (I don't hear it in any of the underlying parts). changed as part of the above
- Don't hear a Bb in the second-to-last chord in m27 RH... I do hear a G though, and changing the Bb to a G sounds a lot better IMO. yep

Whew... I think that's it. Thanks files updated

[mastersuperfan]

Nice, nice. Last couple things:
- Can you check the chord at the end of m11 again? I'm fairly confident that's an En and not an F; Libera hears the same.
- I think you forgot to remove the C from the chord at the end of m19.
- I forgot to mention this the first time around: for the second chord of m20 RH, I hear D instead of Eb.
- I don't really feel like forte is appropriate at m19 or anywhere in this sheet. It's a chill, laid-back track... I think mf is the highest it should go. If you want to keep the dynamic change at m8, maybe you could revert to mp at m13 and then crescendo to mf in m18-19?
- The RH quarter rests in m3/7 are one notch too high compared to the ones in m1/5.
- Maybe move the Layer 2 eighth rests up a bit at the end of m11/13? They seem low to me compared to the notes on beat 4.
- m26 RH beat 1 rest is misaligned.
- Also feel like the m27 RH quarter rest could be a notch higher

[Latios212]

Got all of these except for:

- I don't really feel like forte is appropriate at m19 or anywhere in this sheet. It's a chill, laid-back track... I think mf is the highest it should go. If you want to keep the dynamic change at m8, maybe you could revert to mp at m13 and then crescendo to mf in m18-19?

Yeah makes sense looking at it again. I just got rid of the dynamic change in m. 8 and turned m. 19 into mf.

- Maybe move the Layer 2 eighth rests up a bit at the end of m11/13? They seem low to me compared to the notes on beat 4.

Eh, I'd rather not. They're still on the same horizontal level as the stems and keeping them there keeps them distanced from layer 1 - in m. 11, away from the C# and in m. 13, low enough that the top note couldn't be misinterpreted as part of the eighth note chord.

New files up, thanks again

[mastersuperfan]

sweet

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by mastersuperfan.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot