[DELETED] [SW] Xenoblade Chronicles 2 - "Fonsa Myma (Night)" by Musicia

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Xeno
Game: Xenoblade Chronicles 2
Console: Nintendo Switch
Title: Fonsa Myma (Night)
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Musicia

[Musicia]

So, this song in the game loops in a really weird spot that isn't really reflected in the soundtrack version, so I've linked the extended version of this so you can hear where it loops. If you'd like me to link the soundtrack version instead, I'll change it.

Some specfic things I would like feedback on:
- Formatting: I tried to make it look presentable, but this is my first time using Finale. If anything needs to be changed, let me know. I have the full version of Finale (although it's just a 30 day trial...), so I should be able to make any necessary changes provided you tell me how to do them.
- R.H./L.H. markings:
   - In m. 40-41, the arppegio should be played with the RH. If the marking doesn't make that clear, I'll try to fix it.
   - In m. 93 (the very last measure), only the very top note should be played with the LH. Again, if this isn't clear, let me know.
- In m. 67-68 and 71-72, I wanted to put an 8va on the chords to improve readability. However, I'm not sure how to make it so in m. 67 and 71, only the chords are played an octave higher instead of both the chords and the tied note in that measure. Since I couldn't find a workaround for this, I left the chord the way it is and didn't put an 8va on the chords in m. 68 and 72 for consistency's sake. (Hopefully this all makes sense, if not then tell me.)

[Libera]

Hi and welcome to NinSheetMusic!  Sorry about the wait but I hope you're still around and keen to work on this.  Formatting is pretty good for a first submission (I've certainly seen a lot worse!).  I'm going to go over the first section and give you some general pointers that hopefully you can apply to the rest of the sheet.

-Generally speaking, you have written in the guitar accompaniment very low.  This gives the arrangement quite an overly muddy sound which doesn't really reflect the original that well.  For example, the first 9 bars have the guitar written in one octave lower than the original (ignoring the bass notes, although it may be easier to play if you brought those up as well).  Particularly the chord in bar 8 sounds very muddy that low and sound much nicer higher in the register.  This is a common issue across the whole sheet.
-The last two notes of bar 3 should be E -> C, not C -> G.  Same for bar 7.
-The left hand of bar 8 is very off.  This is what the guitar plays:

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-The bass note written in for bar 9 is actually just a held note from bar 8.  While I guess you can write it in like this, personally I wouldn't because it interrupts the 'hanging' effect after the run in the previous bar.  You could play that note in bar 8 if you let the right hand take the guitar part instead of putting it in the left hand (the right hand is just holding a B after all).
-There are piano chords in most bars from 10 onwards (not just the ones you wrote in like in 21).  You could always include them by putting some extra harmony below the melody (in a second layer).
-You should add graces to the melody like you did for bar 15.  There are similar figures in bar 10 and 11 and lots elsewhere in the rest of the piece.  That being said, in 15 it is actually more of a rolled chord (C# E A) than a grace note bending up to the melody note.
-Missing bass movement at the end of bar 13.
-I hear something very different for the guitar in bar 10.  It just goes E -> B -> G and that's it.
-I hear the first LH E in bar 14 as a C (octave above the first one).
-Bar 15 LH the second note should be an E, the third a C# and there should be an extra A on beat 4 (fourth eighth note).
-Bar 16 left hand should look like this:

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-Instead of doubling up an F# on beat 1 of bar 17, there should be a rolled chord there (A D# F#), with what sounds like another F# on beat 2.

As you can see, there are a lot of accuracy mistakes in just the first 17 bars.  I suggest you go and have a look through the rest of the arrangement, listening carefully to the original and try to make sure that everything is as correct as you can make it.  I'll give some more comments about the rest of the sheet, but they won't be accuracy based for the time being.

-I wouldn't start the phrase marking on the F# in bar 17.  That doesn't really feel like the start of the phrase to me, more of a rounding off of the previous phrase.
-The phrase marking shouldn't end on the piano chord in bar 21, it should be attached to the tied melody note.
-The rests in bar 21-22 aren't necessary.  Just make the chord last for the whole bar (dotted half note) and get rid of the rests in bar 22.
-8vas and phrase markings colliding in bars 26-28.
-Be careful with your dynamics.  In many places they are squished against the notes, particularly the piano in bar 74.
-The final page is very cramped compared to the other pages.  Try to spread the music out similarly to the rest of the arrangement.
-The slur in bar 41+ should be above the notes.  Finale has put it below because it starts with a second layer note.  Speaking of, I don't really see a reason for those two notes to be in a second layer and you can just merge them with the F# from beat 1.
-53 and 57 should really be beamed in 6/8, i.e. you should show beat 4 like this:

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- R.H./L.H. markings:
   - In m. 40-41, the arppegio should be played with the RH. If the marking doesn't make that clear, I'll try to fix it.
   - In m. 93 (the very last measure), only the very top note should be played with the LH. Again, if this isn't clear, let me know.

For bar 40, I think this would be better written as a second layer in the RH rather than in the left hand staff.
For bar 93, I don't think this is going to come out how you want it.  In the original the high octave is only slightly delayed, whereas here the left hand has to jump up three and a half octaves.  I think it would be better to just write in the high octave for the piano and forget about the middle F#.  You also have the F# duplicated in both staves.  I'm also not sure I see the value in the slur here.

- In m. 67-68 and 71-72, I wanted to put an 8va on the chords to improve readability. However, I'm not sure how to make it so in m. 67 and 71, only the chords are played an octave higher instead of both the chords and the tied note in that measure. Since I couldn't find a workaround for this, I left the chord the way it is and didn't put an 8va on the chords in m. 68 and 72 for consistency's sake. (Hopefully this all makes sense, if not then tell me.)

Yes, an 8va would be much better here.  You don't gain much from tying the notes from the previous bar over anyway, so I would just drop those ties and use the 8va.


Ok, I think that's enough stuff for you to work on for now.  If you have any questions about anything I've said or need help in doing anything, don't hesitate to ask!

[Libera]

Bump for arranger.  Are you available to work on this, Musicia?

[Libera]

I'm going to archive this for inactivity.  Feel free to resubmit this once you've had a chance to go over the feedback that has already been given.