[PC] Deltarune - "Beginning" by LeviR.star

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Deltarune
Console: PC
Title: Beginning
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: LeviR.star

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[LeviR.star]

Before you ask: yes, I know what I did with these two subs of mine.

[Latios212]

Very nice! Overall the chord are quite bottom-heavy but if you'd like to keep it like that, totally fine.

- Spelling: Definitely respell Gx as An. Maybe respell Fx as Gn as well.
- I'm guessing there's a courtesy natural on the LH E in m. 29 because you had m. 28 spelled using E# before? It isn't necessary.
- Move the top staff down on page 2; it's a lot closer to the header than it needs to be.

One other thing to consider:
- You can flip the LH in places even though the F# dips a bit low. The general rule of thumb is to have the beam opposite the note furthest from the center of the staff (Finale's default as well) but it's certainly a consideration you can override in situations like this in order to keep the chords flipped the same way and the articulations nicely in a row. (Compare to before where vertically flipping the chord moves notes to the other side of the stem almost making it look like a different chord.)

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[LeviR.star]

- Spelling: Definitely respell Gx as An. Maybe respell Fx as Gn as well.

I wrote it that way because it's chromatically ascending. If I'm writing the Gx as An and "maybe" spelling Fx as Gn, I'm not adding courtesy accidentals. Files changed to use naturals for now, but I think the way I had it was fine.

- I'm guessing there's a courtesy natural on the LH E in m. 29 because you had m. 28 spelled using E# before? It isn't necessary.

I'm honestly not sure why that was there. Found a couple of other strange courtesies in the LH and deleted them, too.

- Move the top staff down on page 2; it's a lot closer to the header than it needs to be.

Noted; fixed.

One other thing to consider:
- You can flip the LH in places even though the F# dips a bit low. The general rule of thumb is to have the beam opposite the note furthest from the center of the staff (Finale's default as well) but it's certainly a consideration you can override in situations like this in order to keep the chords flipped the same way and the articulations nicely in a row. (Compare to before where vertically flipping the chord moves notes to the other side of the stem almost making it look like a different chord.)

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I've taken this into consideration and flipped them; the only problem was that the staccatos had to be manually moved for this procedure.

Files updated.

[Libera]

Just popping in because Latios asked me to check those accidentals.  While it is a chromatic ascending sequence, they do form chords and I think we should write them in that way.  Taking account of the low F# we get at the end of every bar, the chords are (just going off of your sheet):

F# sus4 -> F# sus4 add flat 9 -> F# sus4 add 9 -> F#m add 4.

So I'd say that Latios' spellings make the most sense here.  Bear in mind that F# -> Gn -> G# -> An is still a chromatic ascending sequence, just not the one that you would choose in a vacuum.  I think you could make the argument to forget about the harmony if the spellings you ending up having to go with resulted in something that wasn't made up of augmented unisons and minor seconds, but that's still the case here so we're all good.

Hope that helps!

[Latios212]

Thanks Libera for verifying that; didn't get to explain that in my original post.

If I'm writing the Gx as An and "maybe" spelling Fx as Gn, I'm not adding courtesy accidentals.

I'd strongly suggest putting courtesy accidentals on the G#s that follow the Gn's because it otherwise looks like the chords are unchanged.

Other than that, looks great!

[Libera]

Yeah this does look great, just some small comments.

-The dot on the crotchet in bar 22 looks a little odd, but I'm not sure I have any particular ideas for it.  It might just be one of those things that has to look odd, but worth mentioning I feel.
-The slur in bar 19 ends a bit weirdly to me.  I'd have either ended it on the semibreve in the next bar personally, since that's where the phrase ends.
-At the end of bar 11, it's not obvious that the melody line goes to the left hand.  Now you could solve that with a straight voice leading line ... but you also could do it with the slur, and get something that looks a little bit like this:

Spoiler

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[close]

though I appreciate that might not be to your liking.  If not, the straight line would certainly suffice to bring clarity to the phrase's end.
-You could bring the rests in bar 12 down a little bit, and also bring the rests in bar 20 up a similar amount.

I think that's it, notes look good to me.  Nice work!

[LeviR.star]

Not updating the files just yet; need to talk about a few things.

- to compromise (and because this still wasn't completely made clear), I went F# - Fx - G# - A, so that no courtesy accidentals are needed. So basically Latios' original suggestion, minus the "maybe" comment

-The dot on the crotchet in bar 22 looks a little odd, but I'm not sure I have any particular ideas for it.  It might just be one of those things that has to look odd, but worth mentioning I feel.

Yea, I understand what you're getting at. Unless anyone else knows if something can be done to make it look better, I can't say I have any ideas.

-The slur in bar 19 ends a bit weirdly to me.  I'd have either ended it on the semibreve in the next bar personally, since that's where the phrase ends.

That was just me thinking back to my old self-imposed music theory rule that says, "You can't slur the same note in a row". That's something I'll keep in mind on my future sheets. Fixed.

-At the end of bar 11, it's not obvious that the melody line goes to the left hand.  Now you could solve that with a straight voice leading line ... but you also could do it with the slur, and get something that looks a little bit like this:

Spoiler

You cannot view this attachment.

[close]

though I appreciate that might not be to your liking.  If not, the straight line would certainly suffice to bring clarity to the phrase's end.

I like the idea of the line better; that slur doesn't look attractive to me at all, sorry.

-You could bring the rests in bar 12 down a little bit, and also bring the rests in bar 20 up a similar amount.

I personally don't see anything wrong with them. What did you have in mind?

Until the above is decided on, I'm not updating the main files. I do, however, have the latest PDF down here, for reference:

Work-In-Progress PDF

[Libera]

- to compromise (and because this still wasn't completely made clear), I went F# - Fx - G# - A, so that no courtesy accidentals are needed. So basically Latios' original suggestion, minus the "maybe" comment

I'm not sure I really understand choosing accidentals based on what courtesy accidentals are / are not needed.  I really do think that F# -> Gn -> G# -> An is the best way to write that section.  Latios only said maybe on that one because he wasn't entirely sure, which is why he asked me to verify that comment for him (which I did).  And even from a courtesy accidental point of view, using F## means that you'd be inclined to put a courtesy accidental on the F# in that bar so it doesn't really effect the number of possible courtesies either.

I personally don't see anything wrong with them. What did you have in mind?

I was simply suggesting to move them one space up/down (respectively).  Nothing particularly complicated, but I think they're just a little too high/low at the moment.

Also your WIP pdf looks identical to the musx to me (at least as far as I can tell), so I can't really verify any of the changes you said that you made.

[Latios212]

Yeah, sorry if I wasn't clear - I agree with Libera's suggested way of writing the accidentals. One more thing to think about: you could make the argument that it's ascending chromatically, but in addition to what Libera pointed out about the harmonies and the fact you'd need a courtesy accidental on the F# anyway, Gn is just easier to read.

[LeviR.star]

Give me a week to work on this.

[LeviR.star]

Files were fixed; accidentals were adjusted, I added a curvy slur as well as the dotted line, and a few other things.

[Latios212]

Snazzy! (Just reiterating my approval)

[Libera]

Great stuff!  Accepting!

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Libera.

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