[NDS] Pokémon Black Version & Pokémon White Version - "Title Screen" by goldenscruff

Started by Zeta, May 08, 2024, 05:29:04 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Black Version & Pokémon White Version
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Title Screen
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: goldenscruff

goldenscruff

#1

Welcome to the piece where the melody is almost never in the top RH.

The Ties in m24 I don't think I can fix in notepad.

This is a fast tempo, so lmk if anythings too hard. (Repeated notes m5-8, octaves m14,m22)

goldenscruff

In m34-37 I was planning on doing some cross stave beaming to show the melody in the LH, but it doesn't look that feasible in NotePad


Kricketune54

Sorry for a bit of a wait here.

• Both composer names could fit on one line. And can be written Junichi Masuda and Go Ichinose
• Lowercase the "by" in "Arranged by"
• bars 1-5 look scrunched up currently. Overall, I think 4-3-3-3-4 could be a better measure/system distribution for this piece.
• for the pickup measure, there is a second line of notes you could add to the LH, or at the very least the drum part leading into m1.
    •  Speaking of which, the pickup measure should be separated from the rest of the measure count (I will refer to measure #'s as is though)
• It's very hard to tell but I think m2-4 the first note is a Cb.
• m5 RH beat 4.66 I hear a Cn 8th note as a pickup into m6
• m6 second layer I hear the following screenshot (can clean up layers a bit)
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• In m7 RH 2nd layer I hear the Fn restrike twice with the Fn and Cn above it on beats 2.33 and 2.66. Then for beat 3 to end it sounds like the notes played by this clarinet part are just an octave down from the melody.
• m8 RH I would recommend just writing this as a single layer, the dotted quarter note can just be a quarter note
• m9 You could add a trill to beat 3 Fn.
• m10-11 RH I am not sure I hear the notes you have outside of the last two 8th notes of each measure. What are the other RH notes based off of, partwise?
• m11 LH very subtle but on beat 2.66 I hear a separate Eb leading into beat 3
• m12 RH beat 1 you could add a trill to this note
• m14-15 LH you probably could work in a second layer, similar to m12-13

goldenscruff

Quote from: Kricketune54 on May 30, 2024, 09:34:02 AM• Both composer names could fit on one line. And can be written Junichi Masuda and Go Ichinose
• Lowercase the "by" in "Arranged by"
•  Speaking of which, the pickup measure should be separated from the rest of the measure count (I will refer to measure #'s as is though)
• m8 RH I would recommend just writing this as a single layer, the dotted quarter note can just be a quarter note
• m9 You could add a trill to beat 3 Fn.
• m12 RH beat 1 you could add a trill to this note
Added/Fixed

Quote from: Kricketune54 on May 30, 2024, 09:34:02 AM• bars 1-5 look scrunched up currently. Overall, I think 4-3-3-3-4 could be a better measure/system distribution for this piece.
Changed to 4-3-3-4-3, as m11-12 is better for squishing 4 bars a system than m13-16.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on May 30, 2024, 09:34:02 AM• for the pickup measure, there is a second line of notes you could add to the LH, or at the very least the drum part leading into m1.
I've added both, with the LH drum being more achievable. The second line in the RH is very virtuosic so it is in small notes.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on May 30, 2024, 09:34:02 AM• It's very hard to tell but I think m2-4 the first note is a Cb.
I'm pretty sure its an F. I at least don't hear a symmetric Cb Eb Cb on 0.5x speed

Quote from: Kricketune54 on May 30, 2024, 09:34:02 AM• m5 RH beat 4.66 I hear a Cn 8th note as a pickup into m6
I'm not quite hearing a Cn, I can hear an arpeggio leading up to m6 m5, is it part of that?

Quote from: Kricketune54 on May 30, 2024, 09:34:02 AM• m6 second layer I hear the following screenshot (can clean up layers a bit)
• In m7 RH 2nd layer I hear the Fn restrike twice with the Fn and Cn above it on beats 2.33 and 2.66. Then for beat 3 to end it sounds like the notes played by this clarinet part are just an octave down from the melody.
I don't hear the Gn in your screenshot but there were major discrepancies, so I've taken a much closer look at those bars. I think the LH is F root not C root, but either inversion with an F root doesn't capture the accents in m6 well.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on May 30, 2024, 09:34:02 AM• m10-11 RH I am not sure I hear the notes you have outside of the last two 8th notes of each measure. What are the other RH notes based off of, partwise?
RH is based off of arpegiating high strings playing quaver chords. The strings are a lot less prominent in the actual recording than I expected. (I have been cross referencing a MIDI dump, might not do that again). They can also be heard vibing on the same chord m1-4.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on May 30, 2024, 09:34:02 AM• m10 LH very subtle but on beat 2.66 I hear a separate Eb leading into beat 3
Good catch. I hear it on b2.5 like the An in m9.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on May 30, 2024, 09:34:02 AM• m14-15 LH you probably could work in a second layer, similar to m12-13
Added the strings in m14-15. The bass in m12-13 also can and has been added in a few other bars.

Kricketune54

Quote from: goldenscruff on June 05, 2024, 01:01:58 AMChanged to 4-3-3-4-3, as m11-12 is better for squishing 4 bars a system than m13-16.
Okay, I agree with this choice. Maybe could move some stuff around in m13 at a later date so the LH doesn't look so bunched up.

Quote from: goldenscruff on June 05, 2024, 01:01:58 AMI've added both, with the LH drum being more achievable. The second line in the RH is very virtuosic so it is in small notes.
Yeah let's go with that. Initial thought was to indicate LH could be used for those notes

Quote from: goldenscruff on June 05, 2024, 01:01:58 AMI'm pretty sure its an F. I at least don't hear a symmetric Cb Eb Cb on 0.5x speed
Was quite tough for me to hear that, but I agree with you now on F.

Quote from: goldenscruff on June 05, 2024, 01:01:58 AMI'm not quite hearing a Cn, I can hear an arpeggio leading up to m6 m5, is it part of that?
Okay this looks/sounds correct.

Quote from: goldenscruff on June 05, 2024, 01:01:58 AMI don't hear the Gn in your screenshot but there were major discrepancies, so I've taken a much closer look at those bars. I think the LH is F root not C root, but either inversion with an F root doesn't capture the accents in m6 well.
Okay - said G I do hear in the LH but I think as you have the two RH layers makes sense. Also another note for myself the top ties on m6 RH beat 1 should be flipped upwards, given there is no visible 2nd layer.

Quote from: goldenscruff on June 05, 2024, 01:01:58 AMRH is based off of arpegiating high strings playing quaver chords. The strings are a lot less prominent in the actual recording than I expected. (I have been cross referencing a MIDI dump, might not do that again). They can also be heard vibing on the same chord m1-4.
 
Ah gotcha. Yeah generally would not recommend using midi dumps just because of the potential unreliable quality.  I do think the arpeggiating makes sense with your explanation.

Quote from: goldenscruff on June 05, 2024, 01:01:58 AMAdded the strings in m14-15. The bass in m12-13 also can and has been added in a few other bars.
This looks good!


• m8 this trill can be shown as a dotted half note.
• m10 LH ties need to be flipped around a bit (bottom ones flipped down from current position, beat 1, and beat 3 flip up the top one)
• m12 LH could move the whole note dot a bit up and left so it doesn't look like a staccato on the half note.
• m13 RH beat 4 I hear a trill on the Fn
• m16 LH will need to make sure fingering numbers are same font.
• m20 RH beat 1 I hear notes

goldenscruff

Quote from: Kricketune54 on June 30, 2024, 07:21:09 PM• m8 this trill can be shown as a dotted half note.
This is intended to be a trill for a dotted crotchet, then held for the last dotted crotchet, as the line fades out.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on June 30, 2024, 07:21:09 PM• m20 RH beat 1 I hear notes
There is a string arpeggio that I'm not adding. I originally omitted Eb Gb b1 in RH for playability, but the fingering is okay, so will add that in next update. (I only want to add pedal lines with the line tool so many times).

Quote from: Kricketune54 on June 30, 2024, 07:21:09 PM• m16 LH will need to make sure fingering numbers are same font.
Do you know how to paste between notepad files so that page layouts don't get messed up/define an articulation, because then I could fix it my end.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on June 30, 2024, 07:21:09 PM• m13 RH beat 4 I hear a trill on the Fn
I hear maybe an accent but not a trill/extra notes that I haven't already notated.

Kricketune54

Quote from: goldenscruff on July 02, 2024, 05:29:26 PMThis is intended to be a trill for a dotted crotchet, then held for the last dotted crotchet, as the line fades out.
To me it sounds like the trill continues through the end of the measure. You could add a decres., which might make sense given how quiet part that is the current RH is anyway (maybe decresc. but go back to mf at m9 for the RH)

Quote from: goldenscruff on July 02, 2024, 05:29:26 PMThere is a string arpeggio that I'm not adding. I originally omitted Eb Gb b1 in RH for playability, but the fingering is okay, so will add that in next update. (I only want to add pedal lines with the line tool so many times).
Yes that Eb Gb is what I meant that you have ommitted. I don't think it's that difficult to go from last note of m19 to those beat 1 notes.
Some other stuff at m19-20:
• m19 RH beat 2.66 hearing Bb not Ab
• m20 beat 3-4 I don't hear those lower octave Ab's.

Quote from: goldenscruff on July 02, 2024, 05:29:26 PMDo you know how to paste between notepad files so that page layouts don't get messed up/define an articulation, because then I could fix it my end.
I'm not sure about pasting between notepad files unfortunately. It might be a matter we can just table for later in the approval process.

Quote from: goldenscruff on July 02, 2024, 05:29:26 PMI hear maybe an accent but not a trill/extra notes that I haven't already notated.
Slowing this part down I do hear that pitch in question go F-G-F like a trill still.

More bits
• Noting for future ties in m6 RH need to be flipped around (and m23, m52 and m54 as well)
• m7 not sure if you can do this in any conversion but for the triplet notes on beat 4 (currently in bottom staff) I would add dashed lines (like m29 in this example ) to indicate the notes are progressing. It also might be clearer to have those notes in the top staff, and just add "LH" underneath to indicate it's meant to be played by LH. Could do similar for m8 beat 2 as well.
• Also m7 splitting F's into two layers in the LH would look cleaner.
• m9-10 LH  beat 2.5  you could add staccato here (yes it's dotted notes but I think it makes sense here)
• m14 LH I would split two layers so the progression of the Eb to Bb is a bit easier to see (could have different direction stems)

goldenscruff

Quote from: Kricketune54 on July 09, 2024, 08:19:43 PMTo me it sounds like the trill continues through the end of the measure. You could add a decres., which might make sense given how quiet part that is the current RH is anyway (maybe decresc. but go back to mf at m9 for the RH)
I'm only playing the trill for 1.66 beats, but it is cleaner as a minum.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on July 09, 2024, 08:19:43 PM• m19 RH beat 2.66 hearing Bb not Ab
Someone didn't read their midi dump properly.
Quote from: Kricketune54 on July 09, 2024, 08:19:43 PM• m20 beat 3-4 I don't hear those lower octave Ab's.
Someone got suggestion biased by their midi dump. (This mistake is the one I'm worrying about more, with midi dumps)

Quote from: Kricketune54 on July 09, 2024, 08:19:43 PMSlowing this part down I do hear that pitch in question go F-G-F like a trill still
I can't hear the trill, but even if there was one there, the mordents on the crochets are already barely playable, I'm not sure how playable the trill would be at double speed.
The trill you hear is separate from the strings descending chromatically? (like in m9)

Add the more bits except the flipped ties.

Kricketune54

Quote from: goldenscruff on July 15, 2024, 05:08:04 AMI'm only playing the trill for 1.66 beats, but it is cleaner as a minum.
What do you mean by a minum? Overall, I think this makes it a bit clearer, and I'm fine with the Bb additions in the second layer

Quote from: goldenscruff on July 15, 2024, 05:08:04 AMSomeone didn't read their midi dump properly.Someone got suggestion biased by their midi dump. (This mistake is the one I'm worrying about more, with midi dumps)
Cannot stress enough that midi dumps are not a reliable reference point. Generally we recommend if something seems too difficult to hear/arrange, that arrangers should either seek assistance from community/other arrangers (if they are aware of issues), or to work on arrangements that are less difficult.

Quote from: goldenscruff on July 15, 2024, 05:08:04 AMI can't hear the trill, but even if there was one there, the mordents on the crochets are already barely playable, I'm not sure how playable the trill would be at double speed.The trill you hear is separate from the strings descending chromatically? (like in m9)
I am hearing the trill in the flute part, which is the part notated.

• m7 LH you could combine the beat 3 dotted half rests (only show one), but alternatively I think the better path might be to do the following:
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let's get rid of some of the hand guidance's, and use dotted lines to show the way the notes are a part of the same rhythm. I would also re-add the m8 LH rest. Although it's still pictured, I don't think the slur is exactly necessary between m7-8. 
• m14 can hide this LH beat 4 rest, will need to move around stuff on beat 3 so it's not overlapping (note to self)

goldenscruff

Quote from: Kricketune54 on July 25, 2024, 09:52:29 AMI am hearing the trill in the flute part, which is the part notated.
I will wait for a third opinion.

m7-8 I'm not quite sure what you wanted with the rests etc. I've gone back to version 2 but added solid lines. I can't make dotted lines in notepad, and the dotted lines that I can import are restricted to being horizontal only.
The slur made more sense when I wasn't splitting the part between hands.

Kricketune54

Quote from: goldenscruff on August 07, 2024, 11:08:47 PMI will wait for a third opinion.
Okay can do on that.

Quote from: goldenscruff on August 07, 2024, 11:08:47 PMm7-8 I'm not quite sure what you wanted with the rests etc. I've gone back to version 2 but added solid lines. I can't make dotted lines in notepad, and the dotted lines that I can import are restricted to being horizontal only.
The slur made more sense when I wasn't splitting the part between hands.
What you have is generally what I was thinking of, can just swap the solid lines for dotted/dashed ones later.

• m7 LH 2nd voice not sure why I didn't spot this sooner but you could just combine these notes into a dotted half note
• m16 thoughts on changing beat 3-4 of the RH to the notes that are currently in the LH for those beats? And then just making the LH a Bb like what is heard in the original.
• m17-19 RH been thinking about this particular section, but I would suggest making the LH part a bit more in line with the bassline and moving the melody back up to the RH/original octaves. Main reason I'm suggesting this is because I think the parts that are currently represented in the RH are not as prominent and it doesn't make sense to shift the melody octave for them.
• m32 LH going to suggest removing upper notes on each half note and doing maybe something like this:
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. Currently it just sounds a little off with those upper notes
• m34 LH hearing a Dn on beat 4.5 maybe you could make that in the 1st voice (change from whole note to dotted half tied to an 8th note on 4.0)
• m39 RH 1.5 is a Db

goldenscruff

Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 26, 2024, 12:15:48 PM• m7 LH 2nd voice not sure why I didn't spot this sooner but you could just combine these notes into a dotted half note
m7 It is split that way so the pedaling directions are clear.
Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 26, 2024, 12:15:48 PM• m16 thoughts on changing beat 3-4 of the RH to the notes that are currently in the LH for those beats? And then just making the LH a Bb like what is heard in the original.
• m34 LH hearing a Dn on beat 4.5 maybe you could make that in the 1st voice (change from whole note to dotted half tied to an 8th note on 4.0)
Added. I'm not sure if there is a Gb in the LH on b1.0 m35, but there is a kick drum, I've kept it in for now

Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 26, 2024, 12:15:48 PM• m17-19 RH been thinking about this particular section, but I would suggest making the LH part a bit more in line with the bassline and moving the melody back up to the RH/original octaves. Main reason I'm suggesting this is because I think the parts that are currently represented in the RH are not as prominent and it doesn't make sense to shift the melody octave for them.
m17-19 I'm not sure what you mean here. The melody is in its original octave here (I put it up an octave m21 because of the trumpet that comes in), and I'm not sure what part of the bass line you want me to add that the LH isn't already playing.
Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 26, 2024, 12:15:48 PM• m32 LH going to suggest removing upper notes on each half note and doing maybe something like this:
m32 I hear the Db Fb line as prominent, so I wanted that to be the top voice. The Bb on b3 can go into the RH if you are worried about the minor 9th.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 26, 2024, 12:15:48 PM. Currently it just sounds a little off with those upper notes
The upper notes are diads in the original. I only did the top note of them because adding the bottom note would likely be too crowded with the melody and the hands. I can look into that if you want.

Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 26, 2024, 12:15:48 PM• m39 RH 1.5 is a Db
Correct, but the LH is playing the same note on b1.0. I couldn't get the melody to sound connected when playing a Db in the RH there so I tweaked it to an Eb so the rhythm is still there.