Nine Lives' Aquatic Update Project Sheets

Started by NineLives, June 19, 2024, 12:50:23 PM

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NineLives

For this update, I've brought two ship-related themes.

DuckTales 2
"The Bermuda Triangle" | MUSX | Source

Mario Party
"The Wide, Wide Ocean" | MUSX | Source

Latios212

The Wide, Wide Ocean

Just peeking in here, nice to see more Mario Party! This isn't a full check but some things to help clean up readability a bit:

- This piece should be written in C major (blank keysig) - the tonic is unambiguous here.
- Respell any C flats as B naturals. TO keep intervals consistent in m. 24, you can use a D# instead of Eb. (Would need to think a bit more about whether to do the same in m. 8 since it's got a different countermelody)
- Use C# in the right hand of m. 8/24 as well to fit the A major chord.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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NineLives

I should have the above updated. If anything came up from the chromatic transpose, let me know.

Kricketune54

The Bermuda Triangle

• Sticking to the key/chords context, I think the sharp pitches in m10, 12, and 16 should be written as flats (ex. G# to Ab). I think that's my only comment though.

NineLives


Bloop

i'll secretly leave an approval voor Bermuda Triangle, I didn't see anything off ^^

Kricketune54

Okay, then I will openly accept Bermuda Triangle for the update 😎

Kricketune54

#7
Wide, Wide Ocean
• the return point symbol for the D.S al Fine at m5 is out of the margins, maybe move it to the right of the treble clef at m5, same height?
On a separate note, does the DS al Fine section only exist so that the grace note in m3 isn't played on this phrase? I think the fact that you're supposed to go on from m26 the first time through could be indicated a little more clearly, might I suggest adding (second time) to m26's Fine?
• m6 and m22 LH I don't think En really fits, you could just do Fn?
• m7 RH I don't hear an F# on 1.0
• m7 and m23 LH the Dn's should be D#'s
• m9 and m25 LH for beat 1's 8th notes, I think top to bottom An-Fn-Dn works better given this half of the bar is in D minor. For beat 2, I think Cn-An-Fn and then Dn-Bn-Gn works a little better than the current.
• m14-17 LH move the An's up to Bn's (for the .33 and .66 parts of each beat)
• m21 RH 2.0 the Fn should still be an En, and the F# right after is an Fn

NineLives

#8
Everything above should be accounted for.
Quote from: Kricketune54 on July 31, 2024, 08:00:13 AM• the return point symbol for the D.S al Fine at m5 is out of the margins, maybe move it to the right of the treble clef at m5, same height?
On a separate note, does the DS al Fine section only exist so that the grace note in m3 isn't played on this phrase? I think the fact that you're supposed to go on from m26 the first time through could be indicated a little more clearly, might I suggest adding (second time) to m26's Fine?
I decided to just go with the simple repeat bars and put the grace note at the end of measure 2, so it's a bit more obvious it isn't played on the second time around.

Kricketune54

Quote from: NineLives on August 01, 2024, 10:59:38 AMEverything above should be accounted for.I decided to just go with the simple repeat bars and put the grace note at the end of measure 2, so it's a bit more obvious it isn't played on the second time around.
Never seen this done before, but the sheet looks pretty clean now as a result.

• In m8 and m24 the Cb's in the LH can just be Bn's. That way the LH phrase planes the same way as the RH.
• m14 RH You could move this slur a little bit upwards so it's not so close to the LH stems, and also smooth the shape out afterwards so it still maintains its curve.
• m24 RH beat 1.0 you could add a D# grace note here, though it would be a restrike (just suggesting as it does sound like a grace in the original not required)

Think that's all I've got

NineLives

All done!
Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 08, 2024, 09:07:32 AM• m14 RH You could move this slur a little bit upwards so it's not so close to the LH stems, and also smooth the shape out afterwards so it still maintains its curve.
Not sure how smooth it looks now, but it's adjusted.

Kricketune54

Quote from: NineLives on August 08, 2024, 12:05:41 PMAll done!Not sure how smooth it looks now, but it's adjusted.
That looks much better! This sheet has my approval

🎶And it's one, two, three strikes you're out in the wide, wide, ocean🎶 (been meaning to make this joke about m6-8 and m22-24)

Latios212

#12
The Wide, Wide Ocean

Time to actually check this one! Thank you for your patience, just a couple of small things before acceptance.
- The melody in m. 5 is a bit obscured beneath the repeated G's on beats 2-3. How about taking them out?
- The mordent in m. 6 should be flatted.

I keep hearing "Take me out to the ball game".
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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[close]
turtle

NineLives

Everything should be accounted for. I also removed the E from count 5 of measure 5. I thought it'd seem a little out of place.
Quote from: Latios212 on August 25, 2024, 10:26:57 AMI keep hearing "Take me out to the ball game".
I hear a little bit of that and "In the Good Old Summertime." ;D

Latios212

Awesome! Looks good to me, with the small caveat that things don't look right as usual on my version of Finale (2014). I'll accept; feel free to convert files in the Accepted folder or one of us will handle it for you.



Also moving this to the archive since both are accepted! Woo!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle