[PC] Doki Doki Literature Club! - "Okay, Everyone! (Monika)" by Purple1222119

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Doki Doki Literature Club!
Console: PC
Title: Okay, Everyone! (Monika)
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Purple1222119

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[Purple1222119]

I had some trouble deciding on whether to notate this in 4/4 or 12/8, but I ultimately decided on a swung 4/4, as I don't think there are enough rhythms to warrant a compound meter, and it looked less cluttered that way, to me at least.

Also mm. 5 and other similar measures, wasn't sure how to notate that the first two beats of that measure should be played straight, instead of swung. I believe "2" is the convention for the eighth notes at least, but that might be for compound meter. Any suggestions are appreciated! I'll make changes as needed.

[FireArrow]

It's pretty easy to fit onto one page. Up to you though.

[MUS]

[Purple1222119]

Ah I see! As long as it's not too small I think that's better! I'll update the MUS and the PDF in a sec.

Alright I updated them! I left the coda as a separate system, because that's how I usually see codas written out, but I can easily change it back, if the spacing is too weird.

Updated again, found a better solution for the coda separation.

[FireArrow]

Can't tell you if the updaters would approve or not but I like it!

[Purple1222119]

Awesome, thanks for the feedback!

[Latios212]

4/4 swing is good here. About those odd rhythmic figures... I'll have to come back to this later. Listening quickly I'm not sure what they are.

Hmm, I kinda prefer 4 measures/system with two pages, this seems kinda small. But I won't say you have to change it back...

Pitches are good. Repeat structure is good, although I can't help but think there's a way to cut more measures, but that's probably just because the different parts are very similar most of the time...

One suggestion I have is to be a little bit more clear what notes are under the 8va - sometimes the line could be extended a bit to better encompass the last notehead that's under it.

[Purple1222119]

4/4 swing is good here. About those odd rhythmic figures... I'll have to come back to this later. Listening quickly I'm not sure what they are.

Yeah, that was a tough one to figure out, but listening to it pretty slowly and subdividing, I'm pretty sure the rhythm in mm. 5 is the standard 3+3+2 syncopation in 16th notes (so the notes fall on 1 e + a 2 e + a), and it felt like it fell in between the subdivisions if I tried a triplet subdivision. But if you get something different, it's an easy fix! It sounds like a weird rhythm either way haha.

Hmm, I kinda prefer 4 measures/system with two pages, this seems kinda small. But I won't say you have to change it back...

After looking back on it, I agree. Changed back.

Pitches are good. Repeat structure is good, although I can't help but think there's a way to cut more measures, but that's probably just because the different parts are very similar most of the time...

I considered cutting some sections out using first and second repeats, but I feel like that might put too much clutter on the page, as the first ending would be 12 bars long and it would only save around 4 bars I think? I think the most it would do is cut out mm. 21-24. But yeah, a lot of phrases are really similar haha.

One suggestion I have is to be a little bit more clear what notes are under the 8va - sometimes the line could be extended a bit to better encompass the last notehead that's under it.

I extended the ending of the 8va bracket...thing to try to make it a little more clear where they end. (They look kinda weird at certain zoom levels though... I used the line tool because I couldn't figure out how to do it with the 8va tool lol.) Let me know if there's anything else I can do to make it clearer!

Thanks for all the feedback!   

[Bespinben]

Use 0.75" margins on all sides (see MOLA Guidelines, page 5).

Use a minimum of at least 6mm staff size for piano music, and no more than 7.4 mm (see Elaine Gould's Behind Bars, page 483). This disqualifies Firearrow's 1-page layout as it requires approximately 5.7mm staff size (80% of 7.2mm) in order to fit without collisions. A 7mm staff size would be ideal for this piece.

Cast-off the music as a two-page spread: 3 systems on verso, and 4 systems on recto. This would require removing the coda you wrote in. Ample white-space has both an aesthetic and functional purpose, so be sure to always prepare your scores with this principle in mind, which is, to ensure that the amount of music to be read per system for any instrument is consistent. This helps to ensure a similarly consistent speed of "travel" for the reader's eye.

[Purple1222119]

Wow! I honestly had no idea these guidelines existed, although I shoulda figured sheet music formatting would be standardized, haha.

I adjusted the margins and the staff size in accordance with your suggestions, and adjusted the page numbering to imply the two-page spread layout.

Before I delete the coda and adjust the staff placement, any suggestions on how I should handle the ending? I'm thinking of just putting a Dal Segno at the end and keeping the sign where it is, as that's where the piece loops. Also, if I adjust the number of systems on each page, should the staff spacing be kept the same, or adjusted so they're evenly spaced on the page?

[Bespinben]

Just a few of the gems I've gathered during my inactivity, hehe.

Technically, in a two-page spread where the first page of written music is on the left-hand page (the verso), that would be page 2, and the second page of written music (the recto) would be page 3. This is due to printing/publishing tradition to always have the right-hand page be odd-numbered, and also assumes a cover page (which would be page 1). Frankly, I haven't figured out how to make these principles fit with existing NSM standards, so you can ignore the bit about changing the page number's position. I'm only speaking from a position of interest, not authority, so please do take what I say with several cups of salt.

I thought the ending was dispensable because what we gain from deleting it (a perfect measure count for a consistent cast-off) far outweighs its compositional value (minimal, as its just a tonic chord that most people could improvise). As for the Dal Segno, what you've just proposed would be in line with what I've observed of recent NSM sheets, so do that. My guess is that that approach seems to be "softer" in terms of what it says about the original composition, as opposed to repeat bars, so that's why it may have gained traction in the last year. Again, just stating an observation, not making an authoritative claim.

As for stave levels between facing pages, it's mostly an art of taste, but there are some practical and aesthetic considerations you can make. Ideally, one should aim to "match the levels of top and bottom staves across facing pages, regardless of whether the pages have the same number of staves" (Gould, Behind Bars, pg. 487), and have consistent top and bottom stave levels throughout a piece. It's granted that you will need to lower the height of the top stave to allow space for headings on an opening page, however, so a good balance in this situation would be to have the top of a heading level with the top stave-line of the following pages. This however is not possible since we have a running header on each page (as now explicitly required by NSM standards since 2016), so for NSM pieces, I like to move the top stave a "system space" (sorry for the made-up terminology) from the running header, so as to make the layout vertically consistent in terms of whitespace. Here's a quick mock-up of the idea:

Spoiler

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[Purple1222119]

Unfortunately, I couldn't load your example image, so I just looked at one of your more recent arrangements (which are all so great btw) and tried to emulate that.

Removed the coda and updated all files accordingly, adjusted formatting.

Thanks again!

[Latios212]

Cool! Unless Ben has anything more to say, I just have a few nitpicky small visual things to point out.

- The composer/arranger info should be either "composition by/arrangement by" or ""composed by/arranged by" for consistency. Also, it's a bit too high; lower it a little to make use of the ample space available there.
- The second page header is missing quotation marks.
- The "Dal segno" at the end could be raised a little bit to distance itself from the triplet. Again, lots of space available.
- It would be nice to have a double barline at the end of measure 8, since the segno comes after it.
- Flip the F grace notes back upwards in measures 9, 13, and 25.
- The headers for the first and second page are at different vertical levels; try and keep them the same.

[Purple1222119]

Got it! I've made all the appropriate changes. Let me know if there's anything else!

[Maelstrom]

Nope!