[DELETED] [SNES] Kirby Super Star - "Gourmet Race" by McDucky

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Kirby
Game: Kirby Super Star
Console: Super Nintendo Entertainment System
Title: Gourmet Race
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: McDucky

[mikey]

I love McDucky for this.

[Cobraroll]

As a layman, I'll say that the formatting looks good to. I recommend this for approval.

[Bloop]

Overall this is pretty well made, but it's not great. I can point out some things to spice it up though:

-I think you can add a second note to all the offbeats in the left hand.
-I don't hear a lower C in the right hand in bars 3, 7, 11 and 15. You sure you wanna keep it there?
-The bass in 19-22 is pretty strong, so you can add octaves it. Also, bars 20 and 22 have a Cm chord in the right hand, not Fm.
-Make sure bars 19-22 and 27-30 are the same.
-Make a B out of the Cb in the very last measure
-Add some articulations in the sheet, they give some more feeling to every note.

[McDucky]

Overall this is pretty well made, but it's not great. I can point out some things to spice it up though:
-I don't hear a lower C in the right hand in bars 3, 7, 11 and 15. You sure you wanna keep it there?

I decided to remove them

-The bass in 19-22 is pretty strong, so you can add octaves it. Also, bars 20 and 22 have a Cm chord in the right hand, not Fm.
-Make sure bars 19-22 and 27-30 are the same.
-Make a B out of the Cb in the very last measure
-Add some articulations in the sheet, they give some more feeling to every note.

Done!

-I think you can add a second note to all the offbeats in the left hand.

The offbeats? (sorry, my English music vocabulary isn't great)

[Maelstrom]

I don't see why this wasn't already accepted.
Except for one thing: note beaming.
Press the / key to break/create a beam with the previous note. You shouldn't have more than 2 eights bared together in 4/4

[FierceDeity]

Nope. It's extremely common practice to beam the eighth notes of beats 1 and 2 together, as with 3 and 4 (whether or not there are eighth rests in between).

[Maelstrom]

Yes, but it's a little easier to read with just two. I've been bothered to change it multiple times.

[FierceDeity]

I strongly disagree, as do several composers and theory professors.

Also, after looking at it, you have it at a pretty high tempo. The original is closer to q = 186. This is especially significant considering some of the near-unplayable sixteenth note rhythms (particularly the ones with three or more in succession on a single note).

I only have a few minutes to look at it right now, but there are actually a few inaccurate rhythms, as well:
-measure 33, the last two beats are the same rhythm as the first two (also, it seems a bit arbitrary to leave out the harmony there
-measure 35, beat two should just consist of two eighth notes (Eb and F); the same goes for measures 36 and 37. Maybe you knew this and were just trying to emulate the background sixteenth notes, but I think it alters the melody too much to be justified.

I'll look at it a bit more in a few hours.

[The Deku Trombonist]

I personally find music easier to read without beaming over rests, but in modern notation it has become increasingly popular.

[Maelstrom]

I personally find music easier to read without beaming over rests, but in modern notation it has become increasingly popular.

^this.

[FierceDeity]

Except you're not even remotely talking about over rests in this piece, maelstrom, and even if you were, that's no grounds to say that he "shouldn't" have it beamed that way, so much as you can urge him to consider the other way.

[AwesomeYears]

So, uh, guys?

What now?

[Olimar12345]

I'll try to remember to take a look at this after work today.

I don't see why this wasn't already accepted.
Except for one thing: note beaming.
Press the / key to break/create a beam with the previous note. You shouldn't have more than 2 eights bared together in 4/4

And maelstrom, this is more of a preference. An arrangement would not be considered 'incorrect' because of this.

[Olimar12345]

Lots of harmonies are missing, and most of the ones you have are incorrect :/ I'd say start with the up-beat chords in the LH.