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Messages - instrumaster56

#1
Quote from: TheZeldaPianist275 on September 16, 2024, 12:04:58 PMFirst things first, your formatting is almost perfect, but the title of the piece needs quotation marks--should say "Uranus Stage", not Uranus Stage.

W/r/t measure 16: When you talk about the string of 16th notes in the left hand, that's perfectly possible and not at all unreasonable to play, I don't think it needs to be changed. When you talk about the quick run down on beat 14 of measure 16 (what you've written as a chromatic run in the right hand), I hear two simultaneous notes in the original. Perhaps you could write it out as a glissando in both hands, or even write out the run precisely in triplet sixteenths in both hands? I understand that 8-bit music like this has the potential to make unreasonable demands on someone playing a perfect transcription, but I think this change is still in the realm of making an arrangement both fancier and more faithful, without sacrificing playability.
Hey, thanks for the feedback! I updated my submission with the changes.
I originally removed the second voice in the chromatic run because I was worried about playability, since there wouldn't be enough time to get back down to the C in the next measure. I decided to add in the first few notes in the left hand while still allowing time for the hand to move back down.
Let me know if I need to change anything else!
#2


The first video is the original music, and the second video is each channel isolated.

I'm not so sure about the run in measure 16, if it needs to be changed for playability. I considered changing the low Ab on beat 2 to a D so that it's a bit easier, and it doesn't change the sound too much. Obviously the chromatic bit at the end of the measure is just an approximation, and I wasn't sure about how to handle it.
#3
Quote from: Latios212 on July 14, 2024, 01:28:45 PMI think I just have one last suggestion to make about measure 2. It may be accurate, but there's a lot of awkward overlap between the two hands and it's not super clear to the performer what to do - you could omit the parenthesized notes but the overlapping G and Ab notes on beat 2.5-2.75 are really awkward.
I agree, that makes a lot of sense. The solution I decided on was similar to yours, except I kept the C-Db-C in the RH. I also moved the Ab in measure 1 to the LH for better fingering.
Thank you so much for all of your help and feedback! :)
#4
Quote from: Latios212 on July 13, 2024, 07:23:46 PMThanks for making fixes! Was there anything else other than things I mentioned? Just to confirm that any additional changes made were correct.
Regarding my previous revisions, I noticed that there was a missing low F in measure 18 RH on beat 3.
Quote from: Latios212 on July 13, 2024, 07:23:46 PMMake sure beats 3.75-4 are tied too
It is hard to hear, but I believe the pitches on beats 2 and 4 are restruck. I'm going to tie them anyway, for playability.

I also just remembered that the mGBA emulator actually has a feature which lets you mute individual channels. So I was able to isolate each channel and play them slowly to make sure everything is 100% accurate, and I caught even more errors with this method. I think I should make a post about it, since it's a really useful tool.
- The second channel has a sustained Ab in measure 1. There is also a C in measure 2, but I omitted it for the sake of playability.
- I fixed the LH in measure 2. This version is a lot less satisfying, but it is accurate.
- In measures 3-9, I missed the pitch on the & of 4 in the second channel. I think this is more important than the pedal F/Eb in the bass, so I replaced it.
- In measure 18, the F-Ab-C-F arpeggio is repeated on beat 4, but it has been omitted for playability.
- The Eb in measures 25 and 26 are definitely restruck -- it is hard to hear because there's not much decay on the notes, but, after isolating it, I can say for sure that it is rearticulated.

After carefully listening and playing back with each channel multiple times, I'm quite certain that this version is accurate. If there is anything else that needs to be changed, please let me know.
#5
Quote from: Latios212 on July 08, 2024, 05:47:48 PMWelcome to NinSheetMusic! Awesome first submission you have here, things look great :)

Some feedback before we wrap up this one:
- For the left hand 16th note groups in m. 3-10, the fourth note in each is too high. That's to say it should be F-G-Ab-Bb and Eb-F-G-Ab in the respective measures.
- On beat 4 of m. 10, the left hand descends G-F-Eb (matching the rhythm of the right hand) instead of repeating the Eb as in previous measures
- The Bb notes in the left hand of m. 15-16 should be Cb instead
- The tied Bb-Db dyad in m. 17 could be written more simply as a quarter note
- I'm hearing the first three 16th notes of m. 18 as Ab-C-F instead of C-Eb-F
- I hear the bass in m. 25-27 as this instead:

Also, one thing that doesn't really affect how this is read/played but I think it might be a bit nicer - for m. 12-24 you have pedal notated but I think it'd make sense to fill in all the rests (i.e. with longer/tied notes) since the rests visually imply a kind of detached sound.
You're right. Great catches! I reviewed it again and caught a few more errors.
I'm thinking the last three notes of measures 15-16 and 23-24 are Ab-Bb-Db rather than Ab-Cb-Db, but it's hard for me to tell. Could you double-check that?
#6
Quote from: XiaoMigros on July 04, 2024, 05:51:19 AMWait nevermind, I think the issue with the ending text size can be resolved by adding it through the expression tool instead of the text tool (I found it at the bottom of the first page). Then it will look like below:
You cannot view this attachment.

I also repositioned the second repeat ending to align it to the barline rather than the time signature.
Yes, that looks much better.
I don't exactly understand what the issue with the text is. Could you explain it?
#7
Quote from: XiaoMigros on July 03, 2024, 08:54:21 PMThat's great to hear! There's a few more things that caught my eye:
  • For m11-m24, is the idea that the pedal is held down continuously? If not, you could write "con pedale" at m11 and "senza pedale" at m25, 12pt/italic, below the staff.
  • For the "Optional ending" text, make sure 'fixed size' is unchecked, or it will be huge..
Thanks for the swift response :)

Thanks, I'm always unsure about pedal markings since I'm not a pianist. Fixed! :)
#8
Quote from: XiaoMigros on July 03, 2024, 07:31:11 PMIs this your first submission? This is looking really solid!
  • The rest in m24 beat 1 RH should be moved up 1 sp
  • the sets of two tied quarter notes in m25-26 can be written as half notes
  • Is the last measure your own original ending? If so, it should be labeled as such ("Optional ending", 14pt/bold, above the top staff). Also, for clarity, the time signature should be restated here: Would 4/4 perhaps make more sense? And filling the duration of the measure as well
  • You currently have 5 systems on page 1 and 4 on page 2. I think 4 and 5 respectively would be better, since the title texts take up more space on page 1. Doing so frees up some space to move the composer and arranger texts further down too :)
  • Your tempo marking would best be updated to match our new guidelines (Notehead: MaestroTimes, 16pt, symbol Œ; = and number: Times New Roman, 12pt/regular)
Let me know if anything is unclear or you'd like further assistance!
Hello, thank you for all of the feedback. I just updated my submission with the suggested changes.
This is my first submission. I've been a huge fan of the site for a long time, so I'm happy to finally be able to submit a sheet! :)