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Show posts MenuQuote from: Radiak488417 on September 05, 2024, 05:19:36 PM-m1 RH beats 2-4.5: There's a fair amount of other harmonic voices you don't have included here, I'm assuming for playability reasons (which I'd agree with if that's the case).
-m3 RH beat 3.5: missing a G on bottom; if you omitted it to avoid repeating the LH note then that's fine.
-m7 RH: Beat 2.5 is missing an E-G-B triad on bottom, beat 3 is missing an E-G dyad, and beat 3.5 is missing an E. Feel free to leave out some of these to make it more playable, on beat 2.5 especially.
-m14 RH beat 1: You could potentially include the downwards gliss here.
Quote from: Latios212 on August 25, 2024, 10:26:57 AMI keep hearing "Take me out to the ball game".I hear a little bit of that and "In the Good Old Summertime."
Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 08, 2024, 09:07:32 AM• m14 RH You could move this slur a little bit upwards so it's not so close to the LH stems, and also smooth the shape out afterwards so it still maintains its curve.Not sure how smooth it looks now, but it's adjusted.
Quote from: Kricketune54 on July 31, 2024, 08:00:13 AM• the return point symbol for the D.S al Fine at m5 is out of the margins, maybe move it to the right of the treble clef at m5, same height?I decided to just go with the simple repeat bars and put the grace note at the end of measure 2, so it's a bit more obvious it isn't played on the second time around.
On a separate note, does the DS al Fine section only exist so that the grace note in m3 isn't played on this phrase? I think the fact that you're supposed to go on from m26 the first time through could be indicated a little more clearly, might I suggest adding (second time) to m26's Fine?
Quote from: XiaoMigros on June 17, 2024, 01:19:47 PM- m20 beat 2+ sounds an octave lowerIt is, but I thought I'd make them higher so it'd be easier to jump to the dyads in the next measure and would be less awkward to play compared to having the notes cross staff where the higher of the octave is played as staccato eighth notes while the lower notes are to be held longer.
Quote from: Fantastic Ike on June 08, 2024, 06:37:12 AMSomeone's thinking of Squeaky Clean Sprint, huh?Slipped my mind actually, but that's a good example.
Quote from: Kricketune54 on May 20, 2024, 09:32:06 AM• m30 and m62 RH hearing G# grace note and note as An for 1.0I assume you meant LH here instead. Everything should be changed accordingly!
Quote from: Latios212 on April 28, 2024, 05:57:49 PMI feel like the voicing for the chords needs some work. In m. 3-8, the jumps are very large and pretty difficult to pull off accurately at this tempo. Could you try inverting the triads downwards and/or using dyads instead to make it easier on the left hand? I can provide some suggestions if you like.I went with making the chords dyads, inverting some of them, and also making the bassline for measures 3-6 part of the second layer so its note lengths are more distinguished.
Quote from: Latios212 on April 28, 2024, 05:57:49 PMIn measures 12+, the bass is missing and having the left hand play the mid-range chords. I think this could be addressed by making sure you have your inversions correct (ex. m. 12 plays Eb in the bass) first and thinking about what other chord tones would make sense to include from there. Again, happy to suggest some options if you like.The initial intent with this section was to focus on the chords, since I felt they sounded fairly important to the flow of the section, while still keeping the bass intact within their rhythms. Sometimes the chords would already have the bass's notes and others I'd have to add it into them. There may be a few exceptions on the account that it'd make the chords sound unfittingly crunchy on the same instrument compared to how it sounds on the source, which uses different instruments to its advantage. I've left the section alone for now.
Quote from: Latios212 on April 28, 2024, 05:57:49 PMFor m. 19, use a regular An instead of Bbb. In measure 22, make sure to keep your intervals consistent. The second chord would work better written as a simple Dm triad, and last one as Bm. (Technically could be Ebbm and Cbm but we could do without that many flats lol)I believe I cleaned up the accidentals here, but let me know if I missed something there.
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