I don't see why not
Debate topic for next Tuesday: Are cannons truly valid instruments for an orchestra? Or should they be replaced with something safer, like Tesla coils?
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Show posts MenuQuote from: Bloop on March 05, 2023, 02:34:28 PM-In the 'second' measure of the intro cadenza, the second note of the 11-tuplet should be an Eb instead of an Bbb. Also, is there a reason you showed the 11 for this 11-tuplet, but not the 14 for the 14-tuplet?Good catch, Eb it is. The 11 should have been hidden too, I just overlooked that.
Quote from: Bloop on March 05, 2023, 02:34:28 PM-In the second to last chord in the intro cadenza (the full Ab7 one), I hear a Bb in there in the R.H. (I think instead of the Ab)
Quote from: Bloop on March 05, 2023, 02:34:28 PM-m6: The slur in the L.H. starting on beat 2 appears horizontal in the pdf, but I see it's not in the .musx. I hope this'll fix itself in the next pdf export ;p
Quote from: Bloop on March 05, 2023, 02:34:28 PM-m8 and 12: Another option to add in the F7b9/A chord on beat 4.5 is to change the F to An-C-Gb, continuing with how the strings move instead of continuing the back and forth motion.
Quote from: Bloop on March 05, 2023, 02:34:28 PM-m14: I hear an Ab under the R.H. F in the third 8th triplet of beat 3.
Quote from: Bloop on March 05, 2023, 02:34:28 PM-m28: I hear an An after the Ab in the 16th grace note run before beat 2.5
Quote from: Bloop on March 05, 2023, 02:34:28 PM-m29: I think I hear a C on top of the the D(b5) chord on beat 4.75 too. Also, it might be easier to read the F# in this chord as Gb, because it could easily be confused as a D major chord while reading.
Quote from: XiaoMigros on January 14, 2023, 01:06:41 AMI just thought it was standard practice to end the line a little closer to the notehead, but if you'd rather not do that that's fine. You could extend it downwards if you want to though I think it's clear enough as you have it.
Quote from: XiaoMigros on January 13, 2023, 01:28:49 AMThe piano lick you wrote in the lower layer plays diads throughout, which could potentially be played by the LH.The lower voice in those triplets clearly ends on the C, listen back to that. You might be confusing it with another voice?
Quote from: XiaoMigros on January 13, 2023, 01:28:49 AMYes, I don't think I hear the Db in the LH. That doesn't mean it shouldn't be in the sheet, I just thought it might be worth mentioning.Oh, well as I mentioned this isn't an exact transcription. The harmony there is a GbmM7, so Db is the fifth. I was more confused with how you worded it "Db should be Gb." I already have Gb appropriately represented in that measure, and it seemed like you were saying to add it like, above that second-ledger-line F, which would be wacky-town.
Quote from: XiaoMigros on January 13, 2023, 01:28:49 AMI think the hook of the 8va marking is a little too close to the end of the measure, so the (horizontal) line could be a little shorter to more neatly cover the notes.What's wrong with the hook being in line with the barline? I really almost extended it downward on that end too like the left, tbh.
Quote from: XiaoMigros on January 13, 2023, 01:28:49 AMI remember a few submissions back I was advised to change the position and appearance of some of my tempo and text expressions to better conform both to one another and also to other sheets on site. It's possible that some changes may be recommended for this sheet as well, particularly the cadenza, but I don't feel qualified to critique what you have nor do I personally see an issue with it.I don't know why/how they wouldn't "fulfill the site's formatting guidelines..." I am not sure if you mean by having too much, too little, or too unclear, but I think they are pretty appropriate as and where I have them. Was there a specific one or few that you meant by this? (just seems superfluous, like "this might be an issue but it might not")
Quote from: XiaoMigros on January 10, 2023, 01:02:32 PM
- The 7th note on the second system should have a double flat assigned to it, just to make it clear. Also, do you intend for this downward run to be played only with one hand? If not, perhaps you could show that similarly to how you did on the previous system.
- All the rolled eighth note chords sound like inversions of the same diminished chord, always voiced with 4 notes.
- In the run after that, I hear the second note as Eb3, and you're missing a Gb5 at the end.
- In the following chord, I don't think there are as many Abs as you have written, I'm not hearing the lowest one nor the one in the RH.
- After that, I still don't think there's an Ab in the RH, and the C turns into a Bb. There's also an Eb4 in there, and I think there might be an Eb3 again in the LH but it's hard to tell.
- In the last chord in the cadenza, I hear Gb5 instead of Ab5.
Quote from: XiaoMigros on January 10, 2023, 01:02:32 PM
- m3 b1.5 LH should be Bbb
- m4 b3.5 the lower Ab in the LH should be an Eb
- m8&m12 b4.5 LH sounds to me like a Gb
- I hear something slightly different for m11 (also it might be worth including the Db at b3.5 to get that extra color in early on):
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Quote from: XiaoMigros on January 10, 2023, 01:02:32 PM
- m14-17: I don't hear the top notes in the LH dyads, were they intentionally added?
- m14: I hear an Ab3 on b3.66 and an F3 on b4.5, which should be easy enough for the LH
- m19 LH: I hear Bbb-Db on beats 1.25-1.5. I think the last two notes are Bb-Cb, but you have those in the RH already and what you have written flows better so idk
- Is the LH in m20 intentionally changed? If possible it would be nice to get some more of the last chord in, with the Db and Gb..
- I hear something more like this for m21 (some stuff omitted for clarity/playability):
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Quote from: XiaoMigros on January 10, 2023, 01:02:32 PM
- m22&23: Maybe you could include the background piano's Bb and Bbb respectively on b1 of the RH?
- m23 b2.5: In the original the Db here is a Gb, thoughts?
- m25: I hear a chord punch on beat 2.5 and not beat 3.5, maybe you could exchange the LH figures you have written there?
- m27&m31: I think the chord here is comprised of Gb, Bbb, and Eb
- m28: I don't think the chord here has an Eb in it, and maybe you could add some grace notes to fit in the chromatic entry?
- m29: It might be worth including the 7th here in some places, particularly towards the end it's quite audible. Also the F in the last chord should be sharpened.
- m34: I don't hear the chords here, maybe you could focus on the bass instead? That would also lower the intensity and fade better into m35..
Quote from: XiaoMigros on January 10, 2023, 01:02:32 PMFormatting:
- I feel like the RH rest in m29 could be moved up a little
- The 8va marking in the first system could have its hook tucked in towards the note
- There's also the question of whether all of the text markings fulfill the site's formatting guidelines, but since I like what you have currently I'll let someone more experienced comment on that
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